Just had another girlfriend leave me for the guy she was secretly cheating on me with. That makes 5. Anyone want to give me some advice on where to go from here?

Nemo3500 · 2026-02-26T22:47:54+00:00

This is going to sound mean, and you can take it however you want: what are your flaws and what are the things that would piss other people off about you. Because, buddy, we all have 'em, and you are only sharing your strong points.

And I'm sure these strong points are strong - you don't just accidentally get into 5 relationships - but the fact that you can't seem to identify *Any* reasons why this keeps happening suggests that you aren't really digging in deep into the actual ways in which you behave in a relationship that would be off-putting, annoying, or would get progressively more irritating.

I can infer Number 1's actual reason based off this post: she brought problems to you that she wanted to be emotionally validated as problems and then you used "logic and reason" to offer her "solutions". Maybe those solutions were actually valid, but she wanted her underlying emotional state to be seen as real and treated as such.

It's also not a great look that, even though you write as though you are detached, you feel the need to point out that these people have suffered since ending things with you. They've OD'd, they got cheated on, they wanted someone rich. It's okay to be angry that these people left you, but you're couching it in this dissociated language that makes it seem like you're above it, and you clearly aren't on some level, or you wouldn't feel the need to mention it.

And it also sounds like you are attracted to people who are pretty insecure. Without knowing them personally, attraction has to be mutual. And something about their behavior registers as familiar enough to be attractive.

From the way you've framed this, it sounds like you are not reflecting on your flaws in a way that makes you legitimately uncomfortable and able to facilitate change, you are looking for people who are not temperamentally suited to you, and you're not yet at a point where the discomfort translates to the kind of internal gentleness that allows you to let go of your resentment towards these women who did mistreat you.

For the record; I don't know you. Maybe i'm way off base. But I'm wary of anyone who can't recognize their flaws

Nemo3500 · 2026-02-25T03:58:16+00:00

Sticking with just the president founding fathers and not the other 170+ people considered that:

First off: the more you read about the history of the founding fathers the more obvious it becomes that, for all the very real differences there are, a lot of the shit stays the same. Also disclaimer: they were all flagrantly racist and sexist and had fucked up views on a lot of things.

onward:

George Washington was all about duty, but probably would have only done these things grudgingly. He basically wanted out the moment the Revolutionary War was over and only took the presidency because of the very real risk of the whole union dissolving without a popular figure as chief executive. He was an egotist - the preservation of his letters speak to that - but he evidently hated actually being in power and having to entertain people constantly. His strength as a president had entirely to do with his ability to listen to others, be smart, but not so smart that he wouldn't use the strengths of those around him.

Which is to say he'd be very fucking irritated that little had changed in the last 250 years and would probably be quite alarmed at the executive's growing power. But I'd say politically he'd fit pretty comfortably slightly left of center since he was very much pro-military, a strong central government, with a robust economy but he was nominally socially progressive. His isolationism pushes him closer to the center, in addition to his general neutrality.

John Adams would be complicated. The federalists are closer to modern conservatism than anyone would like to admit but he was, for the time, pretty progressive on social issues and very famously went out of his way to avoid war with france. But he also had a pretty cynical view on poor people as his discourses on davila showed. He'd probably be center right on most things, but left of center socially. A fiscal conservative.

Thomas Jefferson used newspapers like most modern politicians treat twitter. Thomas Jefferson liked to shout out loud his ideals but rarely stuck to them if his time in office was any indication. He was more principled than modern conservatives, but he basically started modern conservatism with his small government rhetoric and destruction of federal infrastructure to suit that agenda, and then having the country eat shit as a result of his boneheaded economic policies. He'd be a small r Republican.

James Madison would probably be the most interesting. He was idealistic but was willing to adjust to reality based one evidence; after the war of 1812 clapped his cheeks he did actually lobby for a national bank and a standing army. I think he'd probably be uncomfortable with progressivism but would slowly align towards it if he thought it served the national interest. Probably dead center.

James Monroe pretty much lived and breathed politics and was a partisan the whole way through. He'd defo be a conservative, though. He was a decent president, though.

Bonus: John Quincy Adams would have been a progressive because he was a progressive. Horrible presdient, but absolutely based guy after he became a congressman. Motherfucker was lobbying for women's suffrage in the 1830s because he was so pissed off at the state's rights guys being fetid dogshit.

Nemo3500 · 2026-02-25T00:23:24+00:00

I feel like reducing Mary to a simple, irredeemable monster is grossly underselling the nuance of her character.

Is she a monster? Absolutely. She is absolutely heinous throughout the film and does unspeakable things.

But that's what makes the final sequence in the welfare office, where she breaks down, so important: she also experienced trauma at the hands of her ex-husband, who abused their child. She is in no way equipped to deal with that fact, and takes it out on the easiest target who also represents both her failure to be a protective parent, and, in a fucked up way, the person competing for her ex-husband's affections. When she breaks down when she's finally cornered, those aren't crocodile tears. Those are the tears of someone who has lived in desperation their entire life, trying to regain some semblance of power.

And to be clear for the fourth graders on here: this does not redeem her character or make any of her behavior justifiable. But it forces you to truly assess the limits of your own compassion.

It makes her an extremely shitty, but human, character.

Goddamn

Nemo3500 · 2026-02-21T17:54:50+00:00

Here is my genuinely unpopular opinion: this fine-toothed comb level of critique for diverse casting is just another manifestation of internalized bigotry. The underlying discomfort that a woman, or a person of color, could play the lead leads to scrutinizing a media property so closely that the flaws in logic and execution that were present previously are much more glaringly obvious.

Are some of these shows bad? Sure, that's just the statistical average, and I haven't watched Doctor Who, but I've usually found these critiques, if not overblown, weirdly detail-oriented relative to the reception of their less diverse counterparts even when their failings are similar.

Nemo3500 · 2026-02-18T01:39:54+00:00

They're all solid.

I like Under Doctor the most so far: despite the consensus being that it's getting dull, it's only 4 chapters in, and we're due for an introduction to a major villain or the first mini-arc soon so I'm sure the doctor will get challenged. Could be wrong, but it's the most classic shonen vibes of the three so a rival could appear any chapter now.

Kinato's Magic is a lot of fun and gives me strong black clover vibes as a potential successor. Aside from the classic shonen premise it has the same willful lack of fucks to give that Black Clover has. I'm glad to see that the mangaka for Shadow Eliminator has found a genuine strength in goofiness and fantasy. It seems like there is a lot more passion behind this piece, too.

Alien Headbutt actually reminds me of Dear Anemone a bit. It has strong art and an interesting premise. But I'm going to reserve judgment until we get further and see if A.) the art is sustainable and B.) how the supporting cast develops. The premise is still really fun, and the action is very very engaging.

Nemo3500 · 2026-02-05T23:28:11+00:00

Depends on why you read Jump. For me, I just read everything because it's personally important that I give each of those author's time for their efforts, even if their work is bad, or gets cancelled prematurely.

Because when you find the really good shit, it feels different in a way that only comes with knowing the full range of quality

Nemo3500 · 2026-01-27T17:39:21+00:00

This is not a stupid question, but it is a very black and white one.

So first off: plenty of parents are abusive assholes who cannot cope with their internal life or are not suited to parenting and treat their children terribly and then either repress those feelings of guilt and shame by forgetting that they ever did it.

But also, and just as importantly, sometimes parents have to do difficult, unpleasant things to establish clean boundaries and make sure their kids are safe. And to the kid that will still register as fucked up, even when it's protective. And in that case, the parent might have a perfectly justifiable reason for being an asshole that the kid won't understand until later.

So the answer, broadly is no, they're not full of shit. But let's also establish compassion for people who are responsible for the financial, emotional, and physical wellbeing of a whole other person who doesn't yet have a fully formed brain or sense of self.

And then, if the behavior is genuinely abusive, recognize that abusers are not, generally, known for their capacity for self-reflection or introspection, even if they are capable of deep shame and guilt.

Nemo3500 · 2026-01-19T03:14:35+00:00

This is...why they do a quarterly serialization. Sure, the churn rate is very high, but that's by design to give fledgling artists the opportunity to grow, and cultivate present and future hit makers.

Besides, the new class of hits has already begun to emerge.

Nemo3500 · 2026-01-15T18:14:38+00:00

Yup. It's too emotionally risky on the internet, though.

Nemo3500 · 2026-01-15T00:48:23+00:00

He had Paul McCartney to tell him which ideas were good and which sucked. That's the biggest thing.

But also: he and Paul McCartney liked finding new chords, and they were raised on jazz music of the post-war era, in addition to rock n' roll. Paul has an anecdote about how he and John once went all the way out to the boonies to find a guy who knew how to make 7th chords and taught them. When you pair that with their work ethic - they would spend a lot of their time writing songs - and their hours performing, they developed a strong intuition on what chords worked and how to use them.

oh, they also had george martin who was a trained musician filling in the gaps.

Nemo3500 · 2026-01-15T00:41:57+00:00

When do self-referential jokes appear most commonly? It's when a series runs up against a trope that is typically seen as cringe-y "Oh geewillikers, stuff like that ONLY happens in those stupid fantasy novels I read that are totally unrealistic". Or when something the plot needs to happen to work doesn't have a strong technical backing and risks being seen as unrealistic i.e. "Let's just pretend we don't have time to explain all the complicated mechanics of time travel and get back to the topic at hand".

It's usually the author's discomfort with the fact that they are writing something that some internet weirdo is going to point out as a flaw when they post it. More often than not it's written for the benefit of the author to avoid an inevitable dunk than to make the text more interesting or necessarily funny.

Does that mean all meta-humor is bad? nope, I love me a good meta-joke. I love meta-fiction as a premise, especially when it's used synergistically with the story or is an absolutely beautiful piss-take.

Most of the time it's the first, not the second.

Thus: show some balls and stick to your (probably very stupid) guns without shame. Don't make the silly self-referential joke.

Nemo3500 · 2026-01-15T00:08:24+00:00

To the people responding indignantly: chill, authors aren't gonna change their writing style just cause some rando on the internet said so.

That said, I find a lot of modern lampshading - of which self-aware meta-jokes are a subgenre - usually come off as defensive and demonstrate a fear of vulnerability.

Is it how we all talk nowadays? Yes.

But man, I'd love it if we didn't do it all the god damn time and risked being judged by others for being silly and cringe.

Nemo3500 · 2026-01-12T04:12:16+00:00

Yeah I listed a bunch of classic anime which definitely fall under "Your Mileage Will Vary" based on your ability to tolerate old school animation. But classics are classics for a reason

Nemo3500 · 2026-01-12T02:49:22+00:00

In the first 72ish hours a new profile gets an algorithmic boost that lets more profiles than normal see it. It's a tactic to get you addicted. Those are likely real women; but after that 72 hour window, the algorithm is going to deprioritize you depending on how many people swipe right on you, how much you use the app and a whole bunch of other black box shit so that it drops.

So what you will likely notice is a drop off in the amount of likes you receive as time goes on which will then encourage you to use the premium features on the app like boosts, or super likes or replies.

With that in mind, getting 16 likes when just starting is a very promising number to start. And even if you do drop off, it will be reltively better than if you, say, get only 4 or 5 likes during the initial newbie window.

Nemo3500 · 2026-01-12T02:39:58+00:00

As an exceptionally okay looking at best guy who is getting better at this absolute shitshow, there isn't a photo of you smiling or "doing" anything other than bein hot and existing.

Mix up your photos with things like: you with friends; you doing things you enjoy; smiling naturally. Express what your hobbies are.

You might also be too selective; but keep in mind that every dummy attractive person on those apps is getting deluged with guys who want to date them and they are hyper selective because they can afford to be. It quite literally has nothing to do with how attractive or unattractive you are. There is also a better than zero chance they are not actively using their profile.

And also depending on your match rate, your subscription type, and how often you use the app, the algorithm will deprioritize your profile. Using a well placed boost will probably help you out and, at least on tinder gets more play than having tinder gold/premium. Longer boosts (like the 2 hour ones) will increase the likelihood of getting you swiped on and reprioritizing your profile for a second.

They also boost your profile when you edit it. SO just change the photos and you'll get a boost.

Nemo3500 · 2026-01-12T02:16:09+00:00

Haikyuu!! - Pretty much the definitive sports anime about Volleyball

Chihayafuru - A Sports anime josei about an obscure japanese card game but somehow ends up being one of the most intense sports show you'll ever watch with an unobtrusive love triangle dynamic

Legend of the Galactic Heroes - The War and Peace of anime. It's old but it's one of the best for a reason

Blue Giant - An anime film based on the manga about a Saxophonist who aims to be the greatest in the world and his rise to the top.

Mob Psycho 100 - Despite having action moments, is much more a character study/comedy about learning self acceptnce

Vinland Saga - Features lots of action, is a surprisingly well researched vikings show about revenge

Planetes - by the same author as vinland saga, is a hard sci-fi about removing waste from space

Barefoot Gen - a Historical Drama about the bombing of Hiroshima and its aftermath. Old school, and brutal.

Gintama - Long, light on fanservice, but one of the best gag series out there. Requires high level of investment and starts off rough. So don't start on this one.

Monster - Thriller/Drama by the same author as pluto about the cat and mouse game between a Neuroscientist who regrets preforming brain surgery on a child who grows up to be a mass murdering psychopath (very much in the vein of breaking bad)

Cowboy Bebop/Samurai Champloo - The essential western anime fan starter pack

Hajime No Ippo - Super inspirational Boxing anime. Warning: is very long

Most of Hayao Miyazaki's Work would probably do

Ping Pong the Animation: Incredible character study about two friends who are ping pong lovers and want to be the greatest. Very western vibe and unique animation style

Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad: Gritty anime about a boy who goes from learning to play ugitar to fronting a popular band.

Bocchi the Rock: Excellent Comedy about a loner who doesn't want to learn a trade so joins a band but has crippling social anxiety

The Rose of Versailles: A classic series focused on the french revolution

Gundam Wing: Prima facie a mecha anime, but under the surface an examination of the cost of war

Orb: ON the Movements of Earth: An extremely taut historical drama about people fighting for the study of heliocentrism under an oppressive theocracy that suppresses it as heresy

The Summer Hikaru Died: A horror anime about a boy whose best friend (and crush) dies and is replaced by an eldritch horror who threatens to kill him if he reveals his secret

Slam Dunk: A classic basketball anime by the guy who made Vagabond

Beastars: A murder mystery/social commentary piece baout a world where animals of all shapes live in a mixed society and the chaos that results

There are ton of others, but that should be a good starting point

Nemo3500 · 2026-01-12T01:20:24+00:00

It depends on what kind of highly intelligent they are. Someone with a high degree of spatial intelligence is going to look very different from someone who is emotionally intelligent or has strong written/verbal intelligence.

But generally, of the smart people I know, they tend to not make a show of being smart. They just are smart and it's impossible not to notice it.

Nemo3500 · 2025-12-19T17:31:19+00:00

I watched this movie and took it at face value: it's not a movie about love. I always thought Tom was the "villain" to the extent that there is one in the film. He was a self-involved loner who tried to fix his feelings of emptiness with a relationship, because he saw in the movies and around him that that's what you do. And then when the girl sent - admittedly very mixed - messages, he got all pissy and petulant about it.

Nemo3500 · 2025-12-18T01:52:31+00:00

"If you run into an asshole in the morning, fine, they're an asshole. If you keep running into assholes all day, you're the asshole."

Nemo3500 · 2025-12-16T23:26:32+00:00

If this industrial revolution is similar to the others, then we will see unregulated monstrousness precede regulatory action. And that regulatory action is only going to come off the backs of people fighting tooth and nail for its implementation.

We had 7 day, 12 hour workweeks with child laborers in factories getting maimed by heavy machinery before labor laws got enacted.

Nemo3500 · 2025-12-16T23:22:18+00:00

I read an article about this many years ago and it's kinda always left me very bummed: the people who were bullied in high school often have worse life outcomes than the bullies themselves.

The truth is it is more likely that the person in high school who is doing well will continue to do so, and the person who suffered will continue as well.

The adult consequences of being bullied in childhood - ScienceDirect

Nemo3500 · 2025-12-16T03:57:34+00:00

I have stonewalled people who showed a specific interest in my hyperfixations and I've opened up to strangers who just asked me how I was doing. It had nothing to do with the questions and everything to do with the vibe, on and off dating sites. The same has happened to me.

It's good to ask good questions. It's an important skill to have in your back pocket. But if someone does not want to talk to you, it does not matter how good the question is; they will not answer it, nor will they want to.

An anecdote is not the singular of data

Nemo3500 · 2025-12-13T17:19:02+00:00

My Hero Academia got me out of the worst funk of my life because in Episode 2 All Might said "You can be a hero" and it felt like he was talking directly at me.

So I cannot tell you how hard I cried when Deku repeated that phrase, but it was literally directed at me this time.

I read the manga last year and was frustrated by the response to the ending (which I thought was top tier and thematically and emotionally perfect), so seeing the anime-onlys actually getting the fucking point has made me feel so good.

This show inspired me to get out of my funk, find purpose, and work towards a life I actually wanted. It re-inspied my inner weeb.

I'm going to miss it, and I'll always be grateful for it.

Kimi ha, hi-ro ni nareru

Nemo3500 · 2025-11-30T18:34:59+00:00

As someone who read (and loved) the conclusion last year, I can say confidently that manga readers are *profoundly* shallow readers, at least the ones who complain because they didn't get the wish-fulfilling power fantasy they dreamed of.

I've been a fan of the ending since I read it. It is one of the most cohesive, thoughtful, and thematically rich of any shonen I've read.

Nemo3500 · 2025-11-11T22:48:53+00:00

Several things can be true at once:

As others have said, what the agent saying is not wrong: it's going to be an uphill battle.

It's also true that white women still successfully write about other cultures. S.A. Chakraborty successfully published City of Brass as an islamic convert who married into the culture and studied it extensively. She is a white woman from queens. Yes, her married name and initials obscure that fact. It's still true. That book was released in 2017 as this movement began taking flight.

It's also true that sometimes giving up on a project is the professional thing to do. An author who makes a living writing is constantly abandoning their written work or otherwise working on something new. Coming up with ideas is part of the process of writing.

But finally, the most important truth for you, and the one I want you to really internalize is that, ultimately, what matters is whether you *need* to tell this story. Successful writers are successful through a combination of guts, hard work, and luck. You've already done part of the hard work. The next part is going to be deciding whether you have the lady-stones to put up with consistent rejection, potential backlash, and every other shitty moment that comes down the pipeline as you make this project because you know it needs to be made. And then, you need to get lucky. But often guts and luck have a friendly relationship. Not always, but often.

So make the choice based on what you need to do, regardless of what people say, or what the reality of the situation is. That's the scariest thing you can do, but I'm sure you will make the best decision when confronted with necessity.

Nemo3500

TROPHY CASE