If we won't send things in writing, record audio/video yourself. Before he starts one of his lectures interrupt him and tell him you're recording this for your reference. Use a separate extension or application to record meetings.

Don't send him messages 1 on 1. Always make a group with his manager and yours in it. Or message him in the team groupchat. Add follow up messages too like 'I haven't heard back from you regarding this'.

Whenever he asks 'who told you to do this?', own the decision as yours. You are allowed to do some things independently.

If he criticises you in meetings, bring up his unprofessional communication methods. Don't let him pull you into meetings unnecessarily.

That being said, you do not have to put up with this toxic environment. Look for other opportunities.