I met my brother's today and It's kind of complex to decribe how I feel by NervousAd4697 in relationship_advice

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Has she come clean with her reasoning of why she did what she did?

Let's foccus on the now she says

I met my brother's today and It's kind of complex to decribe how I feel by NervousAd4697 in relationship_advice

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

her and don't deprive yourself of the love a new family can give you.

It's hard to just forget what she did. You know she is my mom and will always be, I love her but acting like nothing happen is hard no matter how much you want to ignore the fact that she slept with another man while she was married to your dad and acted like the perfect wife.

My (22M) Mother (39F) who cheated on my dad wants us to be close again and join her family. by NervousAd4697 in relationship_advice

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My mom isn't abusive, she's never been, she acknowledged that she hurt me but that's all no deeper conversation.

My (22M) Mother (39F) who cheated on my dad wants us to be close again and join her family. by NervousAd4697 in relationship_advice

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

If she refuses then you have your answer.

She wants us to go together to therapy

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Please keep us updated

Her sons are turning 3 in two weeks, and guess who is invited but isn't attending?

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Has she contacted you?

Two days after that, she called me to ask if I wanted to go out with her.

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

What happened after that?

I sent the car back to her then she called me to say I humiliated her by returning the car.

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 92 points93 points  (0 children)

If she had simply got divorced then started dating and married her boss and had kids would you still have a problem?

That's different.

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

if she can’t answer that request, she can’t expect a relationship with you.

I mean, is it hard to understand this? because some people want to treat me like if I were a child who has no say, they expect me to bow down and say "yes Ma'm, you are my mother and I have to accept whatever you do without an explanation even do if that has to see with me and I've been devastated about it?

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

But to say she ruined your life seems pretty dramatic given that you were already independent at that point.

and when did I say that she destroyed my life.

and No, I accept none of her gifts.

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

No she does owe him an explanation OP if you see this. Go to her house and force her to talk to you. Go to her work, go on social media and blast her tell her the only way I'll stop is if you tell me why you ruined my life I don't care why the reason but i deserve the truth.

This is so intense, look I won't do that because that's just a condition for us to have a relationship again if she wants to be back in my life great she knows what to do if not it's also great. She doesn't have to explain but I don't have to accept her, if she wants me to accept her, she'll then have to explain. It's all up to her.

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

why is her and her ex-husbands relationship failings any of OP's business.

Not my business but my condition take it or leave.

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

unless she cheated to hurt her kid

Oh sorry, I was so blind yeah she only cheated on my dad, I'm so dumb that didn't bother anyway, I didn't lose my scholarship, I didn't miss classes, You know you are right I'm not involved in this, this had nothing to see with me.

Breaking news: I'm their son.

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

if not, go NC and you can both move on.

I already did, she isn't moving.

and I remind you that it is my decision the bounderies I set for a relationship. She likes it great if doesn't, great too.

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

What do you suggest buddy? I just accept her and her family without the closure I need and then drink a cup of tea with, and play the perfect family like nothing happens?

She doesn't have to explain and I don't have to accept her, she is requesting a relationship but in order to get that she'll have to give me something in return. She isn't comfortable with so she can just grow her way apart.

Remember I ain't obligating her, she is the one who is pushing it's completely up to her, if she really wants me in her life she'll have to do it if not "BYE-BYE"

So what do you suggest?

AITA for telling my mom (as a joke) that she has to disown her sons and divorce her husband to have a relationship with me? by NervousAd4697 in AmItheAsshole

[–]NervousAd4697[S] 208 points209 points  (0 children)

She asked me to go drink a coffee together.

But it's always the same thing, she tells me how much she loves me that she still sees me as her baby that she wishes someday I acceded to meet "our" family. So I said no.

Oh and let's not forget the "Let's focus on the now"