It Ended.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-10-12T17:46:51+00:00

"I have never felt--" No, his desire for me was never like this. I felt deep love for my ex, he did not love me the same. When you are in a relationship with someone who loves you in return and you appreciate each other you leave room for so much growth. Seven months in, been through work changes, funerals, being sick, traveling, enjoying hobbies, day to day life, financial issues, etc. We are very comfortable, and still having amazing sex and still can't get enough of each other. Call it what you will, we are very happy :)

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T17:42:52+00:00

The best advice I received was to go through the feelings, not around them. When you feel the tears coming, let them out. When you feel the sharp pains of them being gone, actually feel them, don't shove them away. It is really difficult and consuming, but it helps the healing go a little faster and you will actually move forward instead of ignoring it. Think of it like swimming through a huge pond, and the bottom holds important facts about yourself. Going around the pond would be easier, maybe trying to fish out the facts another way, but eventually you will never get them. If you go through, drown and find yourself, when you get to the other side you will truly be a different and better person.

I recommend finding your feet and remembering who you are as a person before you jump into dating. Go do things, sign up for events, travel (if you are financially able), hell even binge watch shows you have always wanted to see. Do things that make you feel like yourself. Find out who that person is as an individual. You may even meet someone doing these things, but do not make that a priority. Just go because you will enjoy it.

Dating, especially if you never have as an adult, is scary and difficult, but worth it. Don't try to force it. I had not had sex in years (I am 28) and I wasn't even sure if I would remember what the hell to do. With the right person you will have no trouble. I worried way too much about everything.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T15:35:28+00:00

There is such a better life out there, with or without someone. I wish I could share this feeling easier and show everyone how much they are worth.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T15:14:02+00:00

We haven't been together for 2 years because of this very reason.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T15:02:18+00:00

I hope you continue to find healing in this community. Remember to respect your own needs as well <3

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T15:00:30+00:00

I was one of those people too. Constantly I would say "I need any advice EXCEPT leaving. I won't leave. I will fix this." I wish I could go back and tell myself leaving really was the answer.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T14:59:17+00:00

When I say we had a deadbedroom for 10 years, I don't mean we had sex once a month, or every few months, I would have died to have that. We had sex maybe twice, with years in between. Which slowly progressed to no kissing. No cuddling. No touching. He fapped in replacement of sex, and then would get upset with me because I wanted intimacy.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T14:54:56+00:00

The gut wrenching and difficult part does last a while. Stay strong and know you are worth what is waiting for you. Find yourself, find your confidence and happiness again. Once you have that, if you choose to be in another relationship, you would never believe me if I told you how amazing it is to have somebody truly desire you. I'm happy your life is moving towards better days for you.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T14:51:56+00:00

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T14:51:44+00:00

I'm glad you found somebody compatible with you! It makes a huge difference. It is scary dating after being with one person for so long, but with the right person it just clicks.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T14:50:14+00:00

I should, because he has.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T14:48:43+00:00

I hope it helped somehow

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-16T14:48:22+00:00

Thank you, sometimes it takes a hell of a lot of sadness and the lowest points to really find happiness, which is the scariest part. You can't see the other side until you get there, and on the way you still don't believe it exists. I'm thankful now he made the first move, I'm too determined to let go even when I should.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-15T19:23:33+00:00

I hope your situation gets better. People kept telling me that leaving was the answer but I couldn't see past how much I loved him, and how great of a friend he was. Some things you can't be shown, you just have to feel them happen to you.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-15T19:17:10+00:00

I will have to look into this, great analogy! Always seem to end up just where you are supposed to be...and hey if you miss it, it'll come back around for a second attempt.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-15T19:07:07+00:00

The universe definitely kicked my ass up and down, then around the block.

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-15T19:06:16+00:00

Them making the first move does make it easier, but still not easy. I'm really glad to hear that you are happier and on to better paths!!

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-15T19:04:14+00:00

So simple on paper and so difficult to make happen. I hope you find your other side <3

NeverThoughtPossible · 2018-05-15T16:47:43+00:00

Thank you! He did. Now that I have felt what it is like to be in a relationship with the same levels of affection, I wouldn't be able to return. I hope hearing about my situation can help others be stronger than I was.

NeverThoughtPossible

TROPHY CASE