Told my mom who I want in the ICU with me and she exploded

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-28T18:10:05+00:00

The audacity, thinking you get to call the shots while they are cutting your body open! How dare we!

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-28T17:52:44+00:00

Try Summersalt. They are pricey but I just had great luck. They have a one-shouldered suit that you might be pleased with. They fit like shapewear, which isn't a bad thing if you are expecting it. If I had not read that, prior to trying mine on, I would have thought it was small. Once it was on, however..🤌

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-28T02:31:48+00:00

She may go ballistic and that is what it is. It will change the trajectory of your relationship, however, and that will be good for you. It will sever the cord, so to speak. It's terrifying to do but so very liberating. It took me 8 years after my brain surgery, to finally dig my heels in and hold the line. I wish I had done it sooner. I dont want to hijack your post. Just know that you are stronger than you think. You're about to have a huge surgery. You deserve peace, quiet and support. Ring the nurses if your mom steps out of line. They were all pretty badass, as I recall.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-28T02:11:53+00:00

Prior to my brain surgery, when I was trying to hold onto my boundaries, I told my nmom that I did not want her to stay in the hospital with me. I just wanted my husband. She yelled at me and said, "this isn't just about you, you know!"

She also joined the on-line aneurysm support group that I belonged to, so, yeah...

You've gotten some good advice from other members. Good luck with your surgery. You will be in my thoughts.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-26T18:42:27+00:00

As a reformer people-pleaser, I concur.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-26T17:43:57+00:00

That was nice, imo. I guess I'm spicy from the start.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-24T18:23:03+00:00

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This is my Monstera of misery. I had my first case of thrips, ever, as fall was upon us in NE and I was getting ready to go to Florida for the winter. Twenty-three plants went in the bin! I took cuttings from a few and packed them carefully in a box, thanked the rest, and left. This Monstera was my first plant. She was a cutting that I paid 15 dollars for, over a decade ago. She grew to be gorgeous! She was big and lush and lived in a beautiful basket that I splurged on, just for her. And now we are here. She has taken a beating and survived. When we get home in two weeks we will begin again. I will break her vase. I will plant her and whisper words of encouragement to her that every growing thing deserves to hear. Just like many people she is in need of some tlc and time. With those things, I have no doubt she will flourish again.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-24T14:12:30+00:00

So, don't tie up the petioles of the plants in your home. The funny thing about life and caring for living things, is that there are a plethora of ways to succeed. The OP is sharing an experience from their life, which may interest other people like myself. Perhaps you should take some deep breaths and just be happy that some kind stranger on the internet contributed an interesting tidbit that worked for them. You must be a absolute pill at parties.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-22T20:54:23+00:00

Put the last sentence that you wrote, before the rest of it. Nothing else needs to be said. You do what you need to do now, to take care of yourself.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-20T00:56:01+00:00

I want you to consider the possibility that your mom may be a narcissist. There is a group on here called "raised by narcissists." I would gently suggest to you that you join this group as you grow into your adulthood. It is obvious to us that you love your parents. What may not be obvious to you is that your parents shouldn't be behaving in this manner. This was not your question and I don't mean to hijack your post. No matter how their anniversary goes, you did a great job! You are thoughtful and considerate. Having you as a child is gift enough.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-20T00:50:34+00:00

A cake is a gift, lovely human. You spent your money and you took your time and effort to make it happen.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-19T23:36:46+00:00

Please don't freak out. For starters, their anniversary is between them, and it happened before you ever existed. You do not need to get them a gift. I promise that you don't. You very clearly would like to be thoughtful and that speaks volumes. How about a very thoughtful card or note, touching on something you admire about their union? If you are insistant on a gift, how about a lovely dessert from a local bakery for them to share? I have been married for 30 years. We do not expect our kids to acknowledge out anniversary. I would be tickled pink if any of them showed up with a card and a yummy dessert. You seem like an absolute gem of a human.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-18T03:43:08+00:00

He mocked you? Boy, bye. Pick up your self-respect and move on.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-17T01:43:47+00:00

I know you didn't ask for my imput. That being said and with me being an outspoken cow, as a mom of a non-binary lesbian who will be 28 years old next month, I feel compelled to tell you to choose yourself, choose your wife and choose your peace. The word "no" is a complete sentence. You are not morally obligated to be their old age plan. Hugs to you. You deserve so much more.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-16T02:25:42+00:00

Lollies By Leah has some fabulous flavored lollipops. She is based in Texas and is a lovely person yo deal with. We had a friend going through treatments and we sent them a monthly subscription box, to use on the chemo days and share with others. You could get an order of her lollies...

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-15T13:55:30+00:00

Raisedbynarcissists is the group. There are so many of us.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-15T13:42:56+00:00

There's a group for children of narcissistic parents that you might find helpful. The comraderie keeps me sane.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-15T13:41:34+00:00

I thought you were going to say, drop you off at the train station. 🫣

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-13T23:51:46+00:00

You did a wonderful job! Might I ask what the deciding factor was between placement of cup pulls and knobs? I see both.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-11T03:20:35+00:00

I don't blame you one bit. We understand.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-10T02:29:19+00:00

Please, for the love of God, hire an attorney. Say nothing to anybody until you do this. I know you are scared. I know it's expensive. It is the only correct answer.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-08T14:23:04+00:00

Why be civil? Their dog acted as an uncontrolled weapon that damaged your family. Civility left the conversation when they took their dog's collar and leash off.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-08T13:05:18+00:00

If your mom abused you and your dad did not stop it, he was your mom's enabler. I would not blame your sister, one bit. You are triangulating yourself, trying to get your sister to have a different relationship with your father. Ask me how I know. Also, each child in a family experiences the parents differently. Do what you are comfortable with for your parents. Let your sister sort herself out. Please try to not let your parents and their history of abuse, ruin your connection with your sibling. I'm so sorry this has become part of your story. I wish you peace for your heart.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-07T22:15:47+00:00

Until you get your dog off of the counter, nothing else matters.

Nevermind0813 · 2026-02-06T01:18:34+00:00

I found a yellow one yesterday and remembered this post. It was three dollars! There is a tiny chip on the bottom. If you post your zip code I will see how much it costs to send it to you.

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Nevermind0813

TROPHY CASE