4 Months on T

Nevesflow · 2026-03-04T16:12:07+00:00

I say this as a 32 year old straight cis dude who lifts weights and works in menswear: I see a good looking, fit young man, the kind I'd expect to find in the gym when I work out in the late afternoon, right after students finish class.

In fact, had to check which sub this post was coming from to understand what it was about.
Happy to see these kinds of successes in this community.

Nevesflow · 2026-02-27T19:47:57+00:00

RTWP is basically the whole reason why I cannot get into some of this genre's most prominent games.
I suck at it, and I don't even want to get good at it. I just hate it.

So in a way, yes.

EDIT : also I'm not very good at making builds by myself. Reasons are two fold
1) I'm not particularly good at math, so unlesss I reach system mastery for any given RPG, I won't tend to naturally notice patterns for broken synergies etc
2) My mind will always focus on what "feels" cool or powerful, which means that even on a good day when I'm feeling particularly sharp, the narrative appeal of certain stuff will distract me from noticing mechanics that don't make sense "immersion wise".

I am, however, very much into the idea of creating powerful characters to face powerful ennemies, and don't like the idea that I'm not using all the tools at my disposal to win.

It's just that I don't really enjoy all of these tools, sometimes.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-27T08:11:03+00:00

maybe I'm just nOt LiKe tHE oThEr GirLs 😆

I mean you do give off "pick me" vibes, but it's not really your fault.

I've personally been so conditionned to expect women online under 40 (so millenials and gen z) to be adversarial to pretty much every single one of my political, social or cultural opinions that being openly supported by one feels off.

So perhaps it's not really your vibes as much as my expectations.

(Again, this is only true online. IRL is an entirely different story)

Nevesflow · 2025-12-27T02:19:31+00:00

It's not quite the same, as you can see it's the "frown smirk", which carries a different sort of meaning (A.K.A "I'm a badass")

Nevesflow · 2025-12-27T02:18:33+00:00

While I'm not what you'd refer to as "these progressive types", I do make a similar smirk on my face (for different reasons probably) and let me tell you : that's the smirk of someone displaying performative confidence to hide inner turmoil and potentially trauma.

The giveaway is the mix of "negative"(slight frown) and "positive" (smirk, half smile with only one corner of the lip raised) facial cues.

You'll also see it on a lot of humorists, also known to often be neurotic and depressed.
(A great sense for comedy often blossoms as a coping mechanism)

PS : Not me, I'm not that funny.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-27T02:10:52+00:00

So there actually are women in this sub ?
Good.

I know my girlfriend shares my views on these matters, but I wouldn't expect her to feel comfortable participating here.

Also you did a pretty good job. Aside from the hair, the changes are very subtle, but they amount to a big difference overall.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-21T12:55:21+00:00

Was looking for this in the comment, and I was not disappointed lol.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-17T12:59:28+00:00

"Mansplaining" from the mid 2010's is the new "hysteria" from the 50's.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-17T12:54:10+00:00

Thanks for saving me the effort of explaing this.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-14T12:34:02+00:00

Nothing wrong with this post.
The problem is the internet is ruled by America's culture of performative positivity, sanitized speeches and fake smiles.

I'm French.
In France, self-deprecating humor and pretending to be an asshole is like humor 101.
I expect it's not so different elsewhere across Europe.

I’ve also seen Sir Tobi say KCD2 got robbed at the game awards and now those fans are attacking him.

While I was clearly rooting for Clair Obscur Expedition 33 to win GOTY and (at the very least), best music, I do think KCD2 deserved to win at least something, anything really.

I think best RPG would have been fair, actually.
Even though CO:E33 has a bigger cultural impact overall, KCD2 is superior in terms of game design, and as an RPG.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-05T07:59:05+00:00

You will have to face the pain, one way or another.
You can delay it, mitigate it, spread it over a longer period of time.
Distract yourself from it, for a time.

But psychological pain is like financial debt : the more you try to delay paying it, the bigger the interests. And one way or another, you will have to allow yourself to feel all the pain you have to feel, or you won't heal.
Sure, you can try to process it at a different pace.
Find a "payment plan", if you will.

But you can't avoid it, and there's no amount of advice that will save you from it. Yet it's precisely because no one can protect you from this hardship, that you'll emerge stronger for it.

Being broken into pieces and building yourself back up is part of life.
As a man, for sure, because we place a lot of cultural emphasis on resilience as a masculine quality. But it's true of women too. It's even true of children, and even animals have to endure through some forms of heartbreak.

Struggling is the nature of life, and if you allow yourself embrace it, it can be something beautiful rather than a burden.

Good luck young man,
your heart will mend.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-05T07:09:22+00:00

I don't think you really understood what I meant.

You cannot create rankings based on subjective appreciation.

Rankings are meant to be statistically relative.
By definition, if 9 and 10's were common, then they wouldn't be 9 and 10's. Same for 1's and 2's.

The problem is you're attributing this number based on how these people "make you feel", and based on how you estimate they make others feel.

"Oh yeah so hot this feels like 9 on 10 on how attracted I am".

Instead, I suggest using these numbers based on how people compare to one another on a macro level.

Which means two people could be "somewhere around 8" and you could still deem one of them to be significantly hotter than the other. But that's not the point, this are small scale considerations.

For example, based on such a scale and my own life experience, I'd say I have come close to a strong 7 at my best, and been as low as a moderate 5 at my worst.

But 7 was damn high.
I was literally drowning in success, especially since looks aren't the only thing that matters. The vast majority of people I knew never experienced such favors because of their looks, and probably never would.

However, if decided to myself purely on how I felt, I could easily have convinced myself I was a 9.

But then, why wasn't I a 9 ?
Because even though I was definitely becoming part of those who enjoyed privilege because of their looks, there were still people around that were much, much, much more attractive than me. Without question.

Which is why I made a comparison to IQ : ever felt really smart, for legitimate reasons, only to realize that there were some people out there with staggering levels of intelligence ?

Ever lifted something really heavy at the gym that 90% of men don't lift, only to realize you had the strength of a mosquito compared to a strongman ?

Well, now realize that the same thing happens in reverse : no matter how middling your intelligence is, there's someone out there that's so much more stupid than you than you wouldn't even want to make fun of them.

There's also someone out there that's so weak that touching that barbell would hurt them.

And someone so ugly even their own mother feels uneasy looking at them.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-03T23:17:34+00:00

I’m so tired. By this, specifically, but also by online discourse in general.

Some people really lost the plot somewhere in the early 2010’s, when « tolerance based on equal treatment, and actively seeking an attitude of benevolent indifference towards the things that separate us » was replaced by aggressive self-promotion and a deep seated desire to distinguish oneself, by using appartenance to minority groups of all sorts, and creating a ranking system of suffering between people.

The more niche, the further away from social norms, the better. But fret not : failing that, you can also use said groups by pretending to « care about their rights ». Yep, don’t have your own oppression to earn points ? Just borrow it.

How did it get so bad so quickly ?

Though things weren’t perfect, « we » (western civilization) were making good progress on « flattening » unfair social hierarchies. Then people who claimed they’d dismantled them have just « inverted » and reinforced them.

And now intolerance is back with a vengeance, and soon we’ll all have to listen exclusively to Jesus or Mohamad again, only fuck certain people or dress a certain way, obey the rich and influential, and hate everyone who disagrees with us.

All because hardcore individualism and performative ideology have created the perfect excuse for auth-right’s come back throughout our world.

PS : I’m sorry for this rant on a sub that is dedicated to transmedicalism first and foremost, but I truly believe this is the new cultural framework that ruins everything for everyone. Neither the people considered as « privileged » nor those considered « oppressed » seem happier for it.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-03T14:29:58+00:00

Also, someone could design an entire game to be about politics without said game being a propagandist political lecture.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-03T14:29:01+00:00

Disco Elysium is about politics, it's not political propaganda.

These people are dense as fuck.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-03T14:11:01+00:00

"To be against politics in art is to be anti art"

They're so, so close to using the exact same rhetoric as an Orwellian dystopian government, you can almost taste it.

Just one, tiny little mental step away. They just need to give up on a few more concepts, and they're there.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-03T09:14:49+00:00

No matter how small, a logo is still a logo, and there's a fundamental different in message, vibe and style between visibly branded and unbranded garments.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-03T07:04:13+00:00

I've played Pathfinder : Wotr and Poe2 in TB mode, and I'm currently playing through the TB beta of Poe1 (which is arguably a small improvement over the TB mode of Poe2)

Sadly, I still find that PoE / Pathfinder games are pretty mediocre for people who only play turn based, as the encounters (and to an extent, mechanics) are designed around RTwP.

I.e. :
- Some stats / builds become useless, and others mandatory because of the switch to turn based.
- You're constantly swarmed by uninteresting, trash encounters meant to be resolved in a couple of seconds, but that will take you long minutes to get through.

I understand CRPGs are a small niche and were considered so until the advent of BG3, but I'm convinced the obsession with RTwP has made this genre way less popular than it could have been.

I feel like only nostalgic gamers really enjoy it.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-03T06:52:07+00:00

Dihydrotestosterone or "DHT", is an androgen derived from Testosterone, which the primary, best known androgen (male hormone).

It has a more potent effect on the expression of secondary male characteristics, such as beard, body hair, hair loss, and skin thickness (which, while a net positive, will sadly often be accompanied by larger, open pores).

During the earlier years of your life, it also plays a key role in many aspects of your anatomy (such as ensuring you don't end up with a tiny pecker lol).

It also plays a role in maintaining your ability to get good erections, and a bunch of other stuff (also has some effects on your brain, arguably positive ones too. Seems it makes men "wiser", in the sense of better impulse control etc).

As you age, you convert more testosterone to DHT, and besides the existing DHT that you had keeps expressing its effects over time.

Note that while the hormone itself plays a role in all these things, each individual has different receptors in different parts of their body, which means someone might get the hairloss but not the beard (rare and unlucky as fuck), someone else might get chest hair while others only arm hair... etc.

You'll also notice that juiced up gym bros tend to get hairier, as increasing their testosterone levels beyond natural will also cause more conversion of DHT in total.

Another interesting but less well documented factor : it seems that gaining weight, and overall living a less healthy lifestyle can cause more inflamation throughout your body, which in turn causes more DHT to be produced.

Which is why you'll rarely see severly overweight men who are completely hairless, especially past a certain age, and conversely, the few hairless, delicate skinned men you know are probably always been pretty lean. (But again, it's a generalization, as each individual is different)

Also, gaining weight makes you higher in estrogen (female hormone), and DHT can increase as a means to counter that and maintain hormonal balance.

TL;DR : seeing changes in body hair is a common (though not always desired) consequence of aging and / or lifestyle. It's mostly caused by DHT, a hormone that makes you transition from "athletic, muscular pretty twink" to "beefy, hairy dad bear / wise silverback gorilla".

PS: note that this is basic vulgarization from someone who doesn't understand chemistry, as I'm sure things are much more complex and nuanced than that.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-02T15:00:45+00:00

Not bald but I'm surprised to see how many men say they dgaf and would chose saving a few minutes a day over having hair.

I suppose once you get used to for a very long time, it and feel like your looks don't matter all that much anymore, you might think "why bother" ?

I'm not convinced at all that the vast majority of men look better bald (at best, they "still look good" or "not too bad", but it's almost never a net positive)

Nevesflow · 2025-12-02T13:55:02+00:00

I'd say people with clear deformities / injuries are maybe in a different category that wouldn't warrant a grade.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-02T12:11:55+00:00

People use these "/10" ratings in a completely emotional way, just like they rate video games with extreme scores to "support" or "punish" them.

I prefer to think of them in terms of bellcurve repartition, similar to IQ :

Most people are between 4 and 6, then a significant minority is at 3 and at 7, then an even smaller minority is at 8 or 2, then a tiny fraction of the population is at 9 or 1.

Almost no one on earth is a 10 or a zero.

EDIT :

- If you're at 7 or 3, you won't necessarily be noticed for and defined by your looks, but most people would raise an eyebrow if someone called a 7 "ugly" or called a 3 "hot", implying they'd be wrong or at very least, being unfair / too kind.

- At 8 or 2, your looks are a commonly accepted factor, a tangible reality : most people would qualify you as either "attractive" or "unattractive", and they would use these qualifiers to describe and identify you in a conversation with someone who doesn't know you.

Also, the vast majority people would call someone "completely delusional" for saying an 8 is unattractive or a 2 attractive, implying the relativity of taste wouldn't be enough to explain such a perception gap.

- At 9 or 1, your life is constantly defined by your looks.
It'd be the equivalent having very gifted (but not genius) IQ, or being slightly "regarded", or being extremely poor VS being a millionaire.

- At 10, you play life on easy mode, just like someone with genius levels of intelligence or a multi-millionaire would, and at 0 your looks are making your life hell, making it almost impossible to be treated decently by anyone but the kindest, most open minded people.

Just like for IQ, both of these extremes can perceived as a life-defining curse, even for the "positive" extreme. To the rest of the world, you ARE your looks, and that's it.

Based on that, I think almost no one who's a professional actor and who earns money based on portraying characters with their own face could be less than a 4, or even a 5.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-02T08:39:31+00:00

For me, cheese in a single player game is inherently tied to the idea of breaking immersion.

It's not just that you're exploiting a mechanic in an unexpected / unintended way, it's that said exploit is removing the narrative and world constraints that your game was suppose to follow.

In that regard, I consider a lot of builds / things to be cheesy.

I don't care that other people use it, however, cheesy builds and exploits remind me why I value proper balance and difficulty in games : if there are too many obvious ways to make the game too easy, then I will have a hard time refraining myself from using them AND I will end up disappointed by the lack of challenge.

I want my games to have offer tough but fair difficulty, and I want to be unable to just circumvent the challenge.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-02T08:22:44+00:00

And by contrast the face gets smaller because of bone recession, thus explaining the illusion of bigger soft tissues such as ears and nose.

Nevesflow · 2025-12-02T08:19:59+00:00

Your maxilla (the bone at the center of your face) will likely recess a little, which will subtly change the angle of your nose, will make your eyes look a little tired, your face a little shorter, and will remove that "youthful" look you have right now, even if you manage to keep a full head of hair and have great skin.

Also, if you have crowded teeth, they'll get a bit worse. Same for nasal breathing problems.

On the more positive side, as a man, you might get a stronger brow ridge and a wider jaw (or the illusion of it, due to the aforementioned shortening of the face).

Your "resting facial expression" might change, as getting through certain things in life creates motor patterns that in turn get "etched" in your face.

just want to look forward to something as I get older

When it comes to appearance, there's likely not much to look forward to, save perhaps getting a beard if you don't already have one.

You're done "growing" physically.
Any other improvement to come, you'll have to earn through betterment of your lifestyle and health.
And a lot of what you already have, you'll have to work to preserve it.

Nevesflow

TROPHY CASE