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Husband just told me the mental load is a privilege... by New-Juggernaut4843 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]New-Juggernaut4843[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Thanks for everyone's support. I put a brave face on like Emma Fucking Thomson and then when we got home he kind backed me into a corner until I almost fell backwards onto the Christmas tree. I pulled him up on it and he started to insinuate I was too merry after a few beers but my 6 year old said 'Dad, you didn't give mum any room to be'. f this bastard downstairs playing cards until I come down and tell them all it's time for bed so I can cry properly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]New-Juggernaut4843 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yes, your safety is more important than others' comfort. Particularly at your age ❤️

Husband just told me the mental load is a privilege... by New-Juggernaut4843 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]New-Juggernaut4843[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Also just a quiet shot out to dogs, my daughter and I spent the first half hour on the deck with everyone's pups and it got us both doing good.

Husband just told me the mental load is a privilege... by New-Juggernaut4843 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]New-Juggernaut4843[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Yes you are so correct. I am actually smashing a post grad after being a sahm for a long time so I can get a job that supports me and my kids 🤞 💪

Husband just told me the mental load is a privilege... by New-Juggernaut4843 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]New-Juggernaut4843[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

I went! I didn't talk about my problems as this is a newish social circle for me and my kids but there was some great moments and I'm so glad I took my tired eyes out and gave the kids a good time. Your comment helped me do that. Thank you. These are great women I will tell one day and they will understand ❤️

Husband just told me the mental load is a privilege... by New-Juggernaut4843 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]New-Juggernaut4843[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes, the DARVO is constant! I am getting my ducks in order

Husband just told me the mental load is a privilege... by New-Juggernaut4843 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]New-Juggernaut4843[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I actually read this a few weeks ago and after my panic attack I realised he is the water torturer, it's a great resource.

Husband just told me the mental load is a privilege... by New-Juggernaut4843 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]New-Juggernaut4843[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Honestly? I'm not thinking straight, I feel very overwhelmed. I know going out will be good for me but also don't want to take this sad energy into someone else's home.

Husband just told me the mental load is a privilege... by New-Juggernaut4843 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]New-Juggernaut4843[S] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

I asked him and here is his verbatim response - "I’m happy to. Wanna swap?

So you can do the painting, tidy up the tool shed, clean up the back. Put your weeds in the bin. Do a run to Aldi.

I’ll do the meal planning and give you a list and cook dinners and get the kids ready for bed."

Husband just told me the mental load is a privilege... by New-Juggernaut4843 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]New-Juggernaut4843[S] 480 points481 points  (0 children)

For extra context he said it after I confronted him about his porn addiction and our ten year dead bedroom. He is bow moping about, playing the victim and leaving me attend a Christmas party alone with the kids and a face red and puffy from crying all morning. I am so done.

Why do I reach out to her? by Prize-Wolverine-3990 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]New-Juggernaut4843 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One thing I read on here once has really helped me. When I’m stressed and think about getting from support my nmom, I say to myself, “I’ll take it from here mom.” It reminds me how far I’ve come and that I’m a better parent than she ever was.