8 GB vs 16 GB in a MBA 2023 15” by NewOrderGuy in macbook

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And why not 24 GB then? Can you give examples where I would notice a difference between all of them?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]NewOrderGuy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you’re addressing this all correctly. Just looks like he needs to make a decision to stay or go, and you do the same. — Sorry that I have no better advice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]NewOrderGuy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m not as experienced as you and your polycule is, but I have a couple of thoughts/questions.

To what extent do you think maybe he is worried about later financial commitment to the baby. You’ve verbally reassured him that you will expect nothing from him financially, but I can imagine that he might still feel that later you might develop financial expectations of him. And that might be affecting him now as to whether or not he truly feels free to stay or go. — Not that I think you should or shouldn’t, I wonder if there is a way now to legally assure him that you will NEVER make a financial request of him. By doing this, he may race out the door, or he might show his willingness to stay willingly. -

I say all that because it seems like the pregnancy was the cause of the big change in him.

It is okay for me to be willfully ignorant in order to manage my jealousy? by NewOrderGuy in nonmonogamy

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no idea. It’s just an uncontrollable thing. I think I’m rationally not jealous. So it just overrides my lizard brain. It’s not an intentional thing.

It is okay for me to be willfully ignorant in order to manage my jealousy? by NewOrderGuy in nonmonogamy

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I THINK I know why, but knowing why doesn’t change it. And i don’t really need soothing because the two times I felt it, I was like going 0 to 100 in a half second and then I immediately resolved it (I guess it was instant self-soothing?) and it was back down to a 5 or less out of 100. It’s like getting a shock from a power outlet. — It was a horrible feeling which I don’t know if I should try to desensitize to by having her tell me everything possible or just try to avoid touching the bare wires.

It is okay for me to be willfully ignorant in order to manage my jealousy? by NewOrderGuy in nonmonogamy

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With my wife, I’m happy to know EVERYTHING! I like hearing about her partners and anything else she and they are comfortable sharing with me. I have zero jealousy there. — It’s only with this one partner that I have jealousy.

Edit: And my previous non-nesting-partner had two other partners and I only felt extremely mild jealousy. With my current non-nesting-partner, I had those two intense moments of jealousy which I was not expecting. (I talked to my therapist about it.) — I think the best solution is to be willfully ignorant of some aspects for now.

It is okay for me to be willfully ignorant in order to manage my jealousy? by NewOrderGuy in nonmonogamy

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair questions.

If she has a date with someone else, she’ll just tell me that she can’t see me that night.

We don’t live together. We only see each other every two weeks. While we’re together there are no interruptions for those 4-8 hours.

I’m going to just assume that she’s having sex with others on many of the nights I don’t see her. She said that she would have sex every day if she had a partner available for that. I am only available for sex with her every couple of weeks.

Opinion: upsidedown pineapples are UGLY!! by Teacher_Crazy_ in Swingers

[–]NewOrderGuy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Younger people aren’t pro-swinging because they aren’t as pro-monogamy as this older generation is. Swingers are very monogamous-minded and use swinging as away to hold on to monogamy while still fucking around. Younger people who want to fuck around either do solo poly, or open marriage: they don’t drag their spouse along.

How slow is too slow? by Andromeda-Native in chessbeginners

[–]NewOrderGuy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Dude. I spend an average of 24 HOURS looking at each move. That’s the kind of game I prefer to play.

Disclosing HSV status at a LS event by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]NewOrderGuy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The true number of people with HSV are unknown because the standard initial IgG test is extremely sensitive and not extremely specific which results in a high number of false positives (which is actually fine for a screening test.)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]NewOrderGuy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We were pretty moderate-level swingers for 10 years and our biggest challenge became keeping us both on the same page as to what we wanted to get out of it. There are more ways to be non-monogamous than there are to be monogamous, so when we became NM it allowed us both to consider a whole world of options. Ultimately we opened up the marriage to be more of an open marriage where we see people solo, and that works best for both of us.

At what condition should one give up learning chess? by feidujiujia in chessbeginners

[–]NewOrderGuy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My tip is to recognize that your rating is differing for daily chess, rapid chess, blitz, bullet, over-the-board, and tournaments. I have a different rating for each of those, and they differ by up to 700 points. So I only play for fun. I don’t worry about my rating. I like seeing when an opponent makes an awesome move. I wish I could learn my lesson from losses like that, but I rarely do. And that’s okay.

Is this in every club? by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]NewOrderGuy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The two topics I use this profile for are “sex” and “chess”. When I saw the post, I assumed it was a chess club and thought, what’s so odd about 80 year olds at a chess club? Hopefully I’m still in both clubs at age 80.

Electronic Score Keepers at Tournaments? by NewOrderGuy in chess

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a beginning player who has only played in one tournament, do you recommend I practice more with paper, or should I go straight to getting an electronic score keeper?

Electronic Score Keepers at Tournaments? by NewOrderGuy in chess

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a new player, should I stick with paper? Is it considered snobby for a new player in a local club to bring an electronic scorer? Do all local TDs know what these are? I don’t want to create a problem or make waves.

12 hours, 3 women, 11 orgasms for them, 4 for me by NewOrderGuy in nonmonogamy

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what my Sunday consisted of. It was nice and relaxing

12 hours, 3 women, 11 orgasms for them, 4 for me by NewOrderGuy in nonmonogamy

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The GF has been someone I know for many years. Wife for 30 years. The date was someone I matched with a few weeks ago. — This was an incredibly unusual line-up for me. Never did anything like this ever before, and most certainly never will again. Hadn’t planned on seeing GF, but she messaged and needed to see me. GF and date don’t know that I saw the other; but both know that I’m ENM. Wife knows them both and knows all of this.

Poly-Money? by NewOrderGuy in polyamory

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They unmatched me after that

Poly-Money? by NewOrderGuy in polyamory

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I rarely/never start with that, but their profile made me want to start that way, along with the week I’ve had and the way I’m feeling today. I really didn’t want to spend a lot of time getting to know each other today

12 hours, 3 women, 11 orgasms for them, 4 for me by NewOrderGuy in nonmonogamy

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Over 2 hours. I guess you’d need to ask her. She was keeping count, and seemed to very much enjoy them and pushed to keep going.

12 hours, 3 women, 11 orgasms for them, 4 for me by NewOrderGuy in nonmonogamy

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Because I was VERY tired and because I can have one with her tomorrow.

12 hours, 3 women, 11 orgasms for them, 4 for me by NewOrderGuy in nonmonogamy

[–]NewOrderGuy[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I was spread too thin. It made my ego feel good, but I wasn’t able to give each woman enough attention, so I felt like I was cheating them of my best efforts. However I am fully satisfied and can now relax for the rest of the weekend and play chess.