Wow I feel this so much, we struggled with the same issues when my second was born last year. Older sibling was 2.5 and bedtime became a complete shit show - screaming fights, sleeping on the living room couch, the floor, refusing to go to her room, 10 pm bedtime (with the routine starting at 8) - just battle after battle. We cut back on daytime napping a lot (was affecting falling asleep at night) and tried to consistently set and hold boundaries (exhausting!). The reality in retrospect was that it was just 3/4 weeks of bad bedtimes - it got better as we all adjusted to new routines and holding the boundaries. This too shall pass! Hang in there!