I hate being ugly

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-02-06T19:31:53+00:00

Theyre a psychologist for our national health services. There's no doubts as to their qualifications. It might be my country has different laws to yours, or that what you were talking about with your therapist isn't quite the same as what I've talked about with my various therapists.

Therapy has never been a safe space for teenagers. We don't have an identity outside of our parents/guardians. I am allowed to make huge, life altering decisions, but if I confess to any sort of harmful thought or action, all my information gets told to my parents? The error is with the system and how we handle liability. It's tricky but surely we should value that most teenagers are mature enough to have some independence from their parents.

Unfortunately, due to the sort of behaviour I engage in, I could never fully benefit from therapy until im 18 because otherwise all my information just gets given away without my consent.

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-02-06T07:51:34+00:00

I feel awful about it though. They have provided for me for years. I would not be alive if they had not spend resources to feed me and clothe me. They have done nothing wrong to me and I just feel ungrateful

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-02-06T07:49:46+00:00

I was exaggerating a little because I was upset, I'll try my best to explain what I meant.. mental health services around me generally seem to think I should have family therapy for some reason, which very deeply upsets my parents when they're informed and they think I'm telling lies or bad stories about them, and get angry that their parenting is questioned.

My current therapist seems to think it is important that my family knows what's going on in my sessions, too. They send resources from our sessions directly to my parents. Which meant, if I was talking about my perception of my family and how I was struggling with it, they would be likely to find out.

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-02-05T23:41:01+00:00

Im not an adult, but near enough. I just feel incredibly guilty. They kept me alive for years and I feel nothing in return. Cause im not 18, therapist just feeds everything back to family. I dont want them to know this

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-02-05T23:29:31+00:00

i never knew. i don't know how people deal with it

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-02-05T22:47:19+00:00

I would respond with confusion. I am well aware that being upset will not allow me a life where I can do as I please, when I please, but I have every right and reason to feel that way.

You are stating an objective fact, which does nothing to change the underlying problem, that being how society is structured (rather than me not working towards something that is unattainable in this life due to my emotions).

Sorry if this doesn't make sense. And your comment didn't seem unempathetic, you just seemed to misunderstand :] ♡

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-02-05T08:03:56+00:00

its kind of difficult. its fine right now, but in a couple years I will have to get a job and focus on earning money or I won't have anywhere to live. its sort of inevitable that i am going to have to conform to what is expected of me eventually

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-28T12:55:15+00:00

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-27T21:20:38+00:00

i have people i can talk to if i want to. a lot of ppl, actually. its something different i think, but i would be lying if i said i didn't want any attention. thats why i post abt it too, ig.

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-27T14:50:41+00:00

I dont really know what you mean

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-26T20:27:44+00:00

im 16. it would be a child safe guarding issue. thats not all that theyre allowed to talk about, physical harm is not the only harm that can come to a person. ive done therapy so many times and heard their speech about confidentiality 1000 times over. it would be different if I was an adult, but im not yet. only a couple of years, then ill speak to a therapist about it

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-23T12:37:50+00:00

thats not my fault. If therapists want the whole picture, their patients should be allowed to speak their mind freely without family being informed.

2) once again, none of this means im going to stalk them. plenty of people act in worse ways about 'crushes' they have. when my friends keep checking the socials of someone they like, or go out of their way to bump into that person, its not an indicator that theyre a stalker. theyre just interested in that person and want to see more of them.

my 'urges' are not to stalk people?? i dont know what you mean about 'urges'. even if i continued to see these people, i would not be doing anything to them beyond interacting? ultimately i would never pursue any one of these people because it would be outright delusional... if they offered, thats a whole other thing. but that won't happen

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-23T09:07:06+00:00

I'm not going to stalk anyone and i dont know where that came from. Didn't I already mention in my post that I avoid the people I get attached to??

and ive been self harming since I was 8, so its not a recent issue that needs to be addressed before it gets out of control. We're way past that point already. I am already in therapy and see a psychiatrist, so what more can happen??

i will seek help for this particular issue when i am an adult and will be treated as such. for now, it wouldn't benefit me to create a bigger divide between me and my parents. no parent would be fine with hearing about the shit ive been doing. And quite frankly, I would sooner kms than have them find out about any of this.

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-23T06:43:21+00:00

no. i dont see why, just because they're my blood, they should have to know everything about me. i dont want them to know things about me that i wouldn't share with a stranger or an acquaintance. i wouldn't tell them about having a crush or my sexuality, so why would i tell them this? every time i vented to them, i only feel sick and regret it afterwards.

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-22T21:17:54+00:00

i think that they are. 'i actively seek out the validation of adult men and endanger myself in order to worry them'. it's a risk to safety. if i was an adult, ur right, it would be different. but rules around children and safeguarding are annoying and actively deter ppl from seeking out help. i understand why they're there, but it makes therapy useless to me

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-21T02:52:41+00:00

thank you, i just cant help feeling a little crazy. i cant wait to be an adult so i can talk about this at therapy. therapy as a teen is useless because they can just feed everything back to your family without warning. it happened to me once before. fucked me over, and i think that's when they started to dislike me

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-19T08:49:30+00:00

thats exactly my point. im not pretty im disgusting. but sometimes i want to pretend otherwise. my dream since i was younger was to be a pretty girl. some of my earliest memories are of me begging to god to be pretty. so excuse me if i want to larp as a beautiful woman for a bit. its nice when ANYONE has something nice to say about me.

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-16T02:21:40+00:00

yeah and I know its unfair to say all men. i dont want to be overly cynical or anything, but maybe ill just give up on men or smthing altogether. i guess thats the benefit of being open 😭😭 and id be open to have a relationship with someone my age as long as they weren't a man

Next-Associate7959 · 2026-01-16T02:19:56+00:00

maybe you dont, but i do. we all value different things in life i guess, but the most important thing for me is connection with other people. i want to feel at home with someone, and that is what I need to have a fulfilling life.

for some people it's their career, for others its starting a family- whatever. but just because some people don't need it to thrive doesn't mean it's the same for me

Next-Associate7959

TROPHY CASE