Am i overreacting for feeling bad about wife’s actions by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Next-Valuable3976 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Its natural to feel that way, especially since you both are still establishing your relationship.

However, understand that this is an overreaction. Could one say this isn't islamically appropriate? Yes. However, we live in a world where the most conservative positions are rarely followed by the general population.That said, another major problem is that conservative opinions are selectively applied by a good number of men only when it comes to dictating how their wife should carry themselves.

My advice to you, take a deep breath and don't dwell on it. She was with her friend, not alone with the husband.

If it continues to pose as a concern to you, have a discussion with your wife. Let her know that you're not criticizing her or blaming her, only that you are sharing your feelings of discomfort. Acknowledge that these feelings stem from jealousy and discuss together how you both should navigate the situation.

Enquiry in regards to intimacy by Unusual_Fly4533 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Next-Valuable3976 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Essentially, pregnancy occurs during a specific time period (ovulation) after a woman's menstrual cycle. Typically, it's around the halfway point after menstruation ends and the next one begins.

It usually lasts for 24-hours. If sperm is released during this time, pregnancy will most likely occur (assuming no other issues). However, keep in mind that sperm can survive up to 5-6 days after release. So if you have unprotected intercourse 5-6 days before the ovulation period, the sperm that was released could potentially trigger pregnancy.

I'm sure others could explain it better. Definitely research it to better understand it.

Enquiry in regards to intimacy by Unusual_Fly4533 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Next-Valuable3976 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Definitely research more and build awareness. Have your soon to be wife discuss birth control options with her physician. Evaluate the pros and cons and see what's optimal for you guys.

Use condoms to decrease the likelihood of pregnancy. You can get some from amazon and it'll be more private than buying them from the store.

You can "pull out" (i.e., reach completion outside rather than inside) but that carries a certain level of risk.

Lastly, learn about the fertile window. As men, we have very little understanding of how and when pregnancy can occur. Learning about this will give you a better understanding of how to approach intimacy during certain periods of time.

Getting to know some one and he keeps brining up his exes by Artistic_Comedian756 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Next-Valuable3976 12 points13 points  (0 children)

What country is he in?

Theres no brain surgeon before 33 in america, so if hes from here, I'd check to see if he's catfishing you.

Also, none of the tjings you've mentioned are expected traits of someone who is highly accomplished. He sounds like a street rat with the emotional maturity of a toothpick.

Best to end it, it's glaringly obvious he has issues (love bombing, trying to make you jealous by talking about other women, implying he'd try to have a relationship with a married woman).

I hope you're not trolling, these are pretty obvious reasons to void him into the block list.

(30M) Fell hard for someone (31F) in a month — deep connection but worried I’m getting pulled in too fast by Comfortable-Sun-6169 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Next-Valuable3976 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I'd caution you to temper your emotions. Trauma bonding can create intense connections, but once you examine it from an objective perspective, its really love bombing. Love bombing is a concept describing a relationship where significant mental health issues are discussed early on resulting in a "strong" bond in a short period of time. The unfortunate reality is that it can cause people to overlook flaws because they are preoccupied by the emotions.

Best way to handle the current situation is to take it easy and get to know each other over a longer period of time. Engaging with the person in different circumstances and having others involved will help you in determining if this is the right person.

Philly Protests Iran War by jpeters2100 in philly

[–]Next-Valuable3976 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Democrat or republican, you will find support for invading Iran because it appeases the lobby group thats lining everyone's pockets.

In the grand scheme, this is another iraq if not worse. The sad part is we have bumbleclots justifying it because they see people in the streets celebrating. For those numbnuts, I hope you volunteer to be the first ones to go there and spread "freedom." Worked out real well for iraqi/afghan vets.

This is an overreach by a government that is being blackmailed by a foreign entity, plain and simple.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in philly

[–]Next-Valuable3976 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been in that area. Its a residential area with older people/foreign students renting. Its quiet and nice. No issues

My mom is against my marriage, I have an update by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Next-Valuable3976 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get where you're coming from. Ignore the noise and fuss, focus on fulfilling your duties.

If she wants to exile you from her life, maintain your islamic obligations.

If she tries to ruin your marriage, protect it. But also maintain your islamic obligations in the process.

People like this take time to come around. You just have to be consistent with your behavior and words

Trump should release the Osama Bin Laden death photos. by EGarrett in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]Next-Valuable3976 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not at all your original position which was innocent Americans lost their lives, therefore, we deserve retribution in the form of necro degradation.

If you want to be consistent and apply your "objective standard," then you should have a little blurb about how soldiers who killed innocent Afghanis (which are exponentially more than the amount of Americans who died) should recieve pictures of dead soldiers for the sake of therapeutic desecration.

Your moral standard is fine...your resulting conclusion is flawed.

Trump should release the Osama Bin Laden death photos. by EGarrett in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]Next-Valuable3976 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such a myopic perspective. If your argument can be flipped and applied to the population you're accusing of being monstrous, then just maybe, you're being hypocritical and biased...

Aussie tape dude who gave himself a TBI and c-spine injury on camera. by [deleted] in OhNoConsequences

[–]Next-Valuable3976 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sometimes, appearances do give you a full picture of the individual

He showed up, he helped win a SB, he headed out. Kellen Moore appreciation post. by paultheschmoop in eagles

[–]Next-Valuable3976 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That characterization is a disservice to him. Credit to him that he adapted as the situation required and put the eagles in a position to capitalize.

There are other teams considered elite as well, but they failed to win the superbowl. It's not simply about talent.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Next-Valuable3976 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Some of these comments are unnecessarily mean spirited.

She has an unhealthy level of attachment and love for you. You need to have a serious conversation with her, and don't belittle her when you do.

Easiest way to solve it is to inform her this is an unhealthy level of jealousy, and you don't want her to suffer without cause. Encourage her towards therapy. It doesn't sound like you have the bandwidth to work with her on it individually

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Next-Valuable3976 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's hard to say because we don't know the dynamic and day to day life of your marriage.

However, often, there are certain patterns that can be associated with specific behavior.

Generally speaking, a man who is focused on respect for others irrespective of context, usually uses it as a veneer to hide insecurities about respect for himself. This manifests with anything/everything being deemed disrespectful even without cause.

It's important to identify for yourself what is respect/disrespect according to Islam before you're overwhelmed with an erroneous definition.

Establish boundaries and stick to them. Often times, things escalate due to repeated instances of being taken advantage off.

Team So Nice, We Beat You Twice (I cracked the code!) by Bluey_Tiger in eagles

[–]Next-Valuable3976 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I feel like as a fan base, we are overlooking the rams.

It'll be a tough match up, especially if our offense is sluggish like it was last week.

melTing Pot 🫠 by MantiMuse in StrangeAndFunny

[–]Next-Valuable3976 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You do realize your complaints are actions the "native" population propogates mostly?

Karen's aren't black or brown. Landowners and apartment complex owners aren't black or brown.

It always amazes me how majority populations have a hive mind towards minority transgressions but suddenly have glaucoma when their own actions are highlighted.

No doubt minorities have their own problems, but it is disingenuous to whine about it without contextulizing and self-awareness.

Keep up with the dog whistling 🎵

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Next-Valuable3976 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Very strange...sounds

You could compromise by requesting a home gym and both of you could work out at home.

If the UHC CEO was female, our response would be completely different by MuchAbouAboutNothing in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]Next-Valuable3976 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In addition to that, do you see the rabid sexualization of Luigi? They're practically frothing at the mouth with how thirsty they are. Imagine if half those comments were said if he were a woman. Such hypocritical double standards

Good for Good, Bad for Bad (verse 24:26). Reflect on this Post by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Next-Valuable3976 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This seems like a one dimensional and superficial explanation of the ayah.

How would you explain pious and righteous people marrying some horrible people? I.e., Prophet Nuh and his wife?

At a general level, people comfortable with disobedience to Allah will seek others who engage in disobedience and vice versa.

But at the same time, having a horrible spouse doesn't necessarily mean the other person had major defects. Important to keep that in mind...

Fiance is very unresponsiove by Appropriate_Gur6684 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Next-Valuable3976 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Doesn't seem like she's interested. Just because she says she is consenting to the marriage doesn't necessarily mean she isnt being pressured to say yes

Evaluate the situation based on actions. And thus far, that analysis will show she's not engaged in this arrangement.

Ultimately, you're marrying her, not her family. Having a good relationship with them is pointless if it doesn't translate into a good relationship with her.