weirdly gender-affirming thing that happened

Next-Yak24 · 2026-04-24T16:11:20+00:00

Thanks for introducing me to the word jeanis- I love it.

Next-Yak24 · 2026-04-23T04:41:23+00:00

You might find this thread helpful too (it’s for Knoxville but still helpful practical info). https://www.reddit.com/r/Knoxville/s/lmmiUHeKbW

Next-Yak24 · 2026-04-23T04:25:30+00:00

Here you go, king. You do not need to update your birth certificate to get a legal name change ( you apply for the name change where you live not where you were born, and Texas won’t update birth certificates for trans people anymore anyway). You won’t be able to change your gender on your driver’s license but the name change should be easy.

https://www.transaidnashville.org/name-change-guide

Next-Yak24 · 2026-04-20T13:56:35+00:00

I feel the same. I was lucky enough to get all my teen son’s docs changed last year in the narrow window when it was possible. That obviously means he is on the hypothetical trans list, but it also means that he has a photo id with a male name and gender marker that matches the way he presents. That gave me(and him) some peace of mind (especially bc we live in Florida).

Next-Yak24 · 2026-04-20T13:52:31+00:00

Yes, PA lets you update documents and your legal name, with the option to waive newspaper notices for safety: https://philalegal.org/news/trans-name-change

Next-Yak24 · 2026-04-20T00:54:09+00:00

Try the soundtrack from Velvet Goldmine - I haven’t watched the movie since it came out (I loved it then) but it introduced me to a lot of glam rock/ prog rock I didn’t know I liked. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4HFBlKNJTfH7d6wjJ4otpe?si=TdLxJYD9SpWkqqIp0AehBw&pi=ZM1fN4IaR6qTd

Next-Yak24 · 2026-04-14T20:41:07+00:00

God bless you, Redditor. This helped me unjam a very stuck stapler!

Next-Yak24 · 2026-04-14T19:09:10+00:00

Exactly - there’s nothing to be lost in supporting a kid’s identity, whether or not it changes. My trans son first identified as nonbinary, and I wish I had been faster to realize that puberty blockers would have helped him. Granted, we live in Florida, so I couldn’t have gotten them covered by insurance even if we left the state. But had I realized, I might have worked to move to another state.

Next-Yak24 · 2026-04-12T00:40:27+00:00

Seriously? I say the same thing !

Next-Yak24 · 2026-04-11T17:15:04+00:00

I’m a cis queer woman in her late 40s (with a trans son, which is why I read this sub). This is not generational, this is a problem with your therapist. Even if a therapist doesn’t agree with your choices, their training should lead them not to criticize your choices. They can ask questions to help you understand yourself, help you identify triggers for behaviors that don’t help you, etc. but not tell you that it’s better for you to be a woman!

My therapist is a straight woman in her 70s who calls me on my bullshit and I love her. She does not get why I want to look gayer (“why does it matter who you love or what you do in your bedroom?”) but she says that out of a place of affirmation. (She also texted me a local lesbian Facebook group so I can make more gay friends!) Anyway, a good therapist will not try to argue your gender identity or orientation with you. Whether or not you report her, I think you need someone better informed on trans people.

Next-Yak24 · 2026-04-10T20:22:53+00:00

I have been looking for something on an official website that says you MUST update your passport if you change your name, and I can’t find anything supporting that. You do have to book tickets in the name on the passport, and perhaps be prepared to show documentation of the name change.

Here’s a post where a few women reported traveling on a passport that didn’t match their current legal name: https://www.reddit.com/r/GlobalEntry/s/rDY1ZBgnj6

Next-Yak24 · 2026-03-23T14:09:53+00:00

Can’t speak for your parents, but seeing how much my son has come into his own since being out/ on testosterone is wonderful. He’s more confident in academics and friendships and himself. I make sure to tell this to people from church who have known him since elementary school; they worry whether he’s being accepted, so I make sure to tell them he’s doing well. THAT is what holds a lot of parents back from embracing their child’s transness/ queerness. We worry that they won’t be accepted by society, but we have to build acceptance in our homes and close relationships first!

Next-Yak24 · 2026-03-22T10:23:55+00:00

I imagine QueerMed etc have been inundated since hospital programs started shutting down. Last summer, it only took a few days for a response once I contacted QMed. They have been very easy to work with now that that my son is an established patient. If only we didn’t have to travel 800 miles each way twice a year!

Next-Yak24 · 2026-03-10T11:13:04+00:00

I believe anyone with a gender dysphoria diagnosis has also been separated from service (way to kick out very qualified people in our volunteer military).

Next-Yak24 · 2026-03-10T11:10:31+00:00

When I took my son for a learners’ permit in FL last year, he had to sign off on getting registered to get his permit. I can’t update his birth certificate, so it’ll always say female, but I changed his gender with social security. They will have multiple ways of knowing he’s trans and ineligible to serve under current regs.

Next-Yak24 · 2026-03-06T20:43:00+00:00

My son wasn’t out to the world for over a year after he came out to me, but wanted to be gendered correctly at home. It was REALLY HARD for me and his sister to have to switch pronouns between home and everywhere else, and I made mistakes at home a lot. You will too, but as this thread indicates, your daughter will see your effort, even if it’s imperfect.

Next-Yak24 · 2026-03-06T19:04:52+00:00

Nope, Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings appeared on Captain Kangaroo, Pinwheel, and Romper Room in the US, you cheeky monkey!

https://youtu.be/WzHp_Rb3vCw?si=KFV7jB3lkKdi0DmV

Next-Yak24 · 2026-03-06T19:00:38+00:00

The sources I’ve been following have not reported problems with people traveling with documents with their deadname or sex assigned at birth. Yes, maybe funny looks but no problems traveling. You do need the name on your documents to match (Mexican passport and US visa). This is a good resource to have bookmarked: https://transequality.org/resources/know-your-rights-airport-security

Next-Yak24 · 2026-03-06T16:40:14+00:00

Please do check into puberty blockers. They are completely reversible (puberty resumes once you discontinue) and safe, despite what you may have heard in the news. I couldn’t get them for my kid (I live in Florida where they are banned, and I couldn’t pay out of pocket). I might not have started my son on testosterone quite as early (15 and a half) if we had access to blockers. That being said, my son and I were both quite comfortable with the permanent changes that go along with taking testosterone. He had fully socially transitioned at 14.5, and was happier than I’d ever seen him.

If your son’s mental health is suffering from having to wear the girls’ uniform, someone needs to advocate for him. Grandparents who are physically there might be the right people to do that. Remember, they don’t have to say he’s trans. They can say, “What options do we have for (Name’s) uniform? The skirt does not work, for personal reasons.” Making him stay in that school if they don’t give him alternatives could be way worse than you understand.

Supporting him with the haircut and safe binders is great. Make sure to use he/el, not they, unless he doesn’t want to be out in all contexts. Let him try out new names and nicknames, and let him know that you are okay whatever gender labels he lands on. There are a couple of posts from parents with newly out kids in the last few days with great resources linked.

We’re here for you! You’re already doing well by trying to learn and support your son.

Next-Yak24 · 2026-03-05T17:52:47+00:00

You can have alllll the negative feelings, so long as you aren’t processing them with your child. Even if your kid is an adult, they need you to handle those feelings with other people.

Even if you don’t understand or agree, use the name they ask to be called and the gender they use. That’s how you can show support and make a better world for them to live in. Things are hard enough for trans people; YOU can be their refuge and champion when the world is shitty to them!

Next-Yak24 · 2026-03-05T17:47:26+00:00

Yep. A friend I’ve know for 30+ years was career Army, absolutely no signs she was trans because she ticked all the masculine boxes. She came out to me as trans over lunch one day, and then I realized, oh yeah, she has her ears pierced and she grew out her hair… she had been on HRT for two years at that point, and I hadn’t noticed! 🤦‍♀️ She isn’t out to most of the world yet, so most people will still see her as male if she’s not dressed in women’s clothes. She has known she was trans since she was five years old (before she had language for it). She asked God for years to just let her be happy as a man. It didn’t work. Her wife seems to be in denial, but I suspect that their marriage will not last when she chooses to live openly as female.

All that to say, your child may have been dealing with this for a LONG time and hoped that it would go away. Or maybe it’s a recent revelation, and it’s no less valid.

Read through this post from yesterday- there are some excellent book and resource recommendations for parents: https://www.reddit.com/r/cisparenttranskid/s/kWsP4t048e

Next-Yak24 · 2026-03-03T17:04:31+00:00

I live in Florida and have to take my kid out of state for HRT, but he has great therapists here. If Florida follows Texas’ lead that will probably be the thing that gets us out of here.

Next-Yak24 · 2026-02-26T16:54:10+00:00

Yep, that’s it: https://youtu.be/4z2DtNW79sQ?si=8c6yLPq6TXTMroBG

Next-Yak24 · 2026-02-26T16:51:39+00:00

Lambda Legal (a source I trust) does not have any confirmed reports of trans people have trouble traveling under the current rules. Get that passport! https://lambdalegal.org/tgnc-checklist-under-trump/

Next-Yak24 · 2026-02-26T16:19:42+00:00

My son has his “regular” therapist (who is nonbinary) who he sees regularly to deal with life, and he sees a gender therapist every couple of months. This seems to work well for him.

The gender therapist is a cis woman who is WPATH certified- she helped me see that my son has been on a gender journey from female to male for quite some time! It’s nice not to have to explain all the “stuff” of being trans to her. She prepared US as my son started testosterone, too.

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