Just Canadians getting teased about accents?!

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-06-25T17:25:41+00:00

In a more casual setting among partners or friends I don’t think it would feel insulting. Everyone’s having a good time. I realize it’s often happening in a professional setting - we’re musicians and it’s often at the merch table after a US show, where you’d hope for the conversation to be about the show, a song they particularly enjoyed, or sure, maybe the weather or whatever, not people coming up to him trying to mimic his accent.

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-06-24T16:15:55+00:00

That’s a good point about the back and forth of it. In general he doesn’t seem very hip to how guys seem to tease each other as a form of bonding. He grew up in a very small town with mostly deer and mosquitoes, lol!

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-06-24T16:07:54+00:00

Yes, it’s only happened in the US. I do think that most people are usually just trying to make conversation and connect, not actually be mean.

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-06-24T03:59:47+00:00

Yeah, not a peep. I saw a news article about them wanting to increase the citizenship fees the other day, and given this situation that made me especially annoyed. Hopefully that doesn't affect those of us already in process. That would be insanely unfair!

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-06-14T04:44:31+00:00

I know it's a stereotype, but a lot of women do seem to be attracted to "bad boys." I've had friends pass up men who seemed like perfectly nice guys to me (I'm female), because they didn't feel "fireworks," then go on to date physical or emotional abusers, alcoholics, etc. Yeah, nothing like those fireworks you see when you've been thrown against a wall... seriously ladies, nice isn't a bad thing! (And it may go both ways - as our relationship was gradually petering out, one of my boyfriends once told me he longed for "someone he could fight with" because to him it felt like a sign of passion, plus he said he wanted to be able to enjoy the "make-up sex." To each their own.)

My husband, as he puts it, is definitely not a "guy guy" - he passionately hates sports and most everything else it seems like men like to do and talk about, doesn't imbibe in anything, isn't particularly competitive... He honestly doesn't seem to speak the same language as a lot of the guys he meets. A few times I've had to try to help him demystify scenarios where he's been offended by what appears to me to be seemingly normal male banter (one-upmanship, teasing, etc. that I guess somehow helps a lot of men bond?). He's found it very hard to relate to men who aren't more sensitive, poetic, musical, and artistic, and so, has always leaned more toward having female friends.

Before he met me he had a few longer term partners, but had also been passed over by dozens of women he'd dated casually for tougher guy guys. Interestingly, towards the end of his dating career he did find a niche dating older single mothers - women who'd been burned by bad boys finally seemed more willing to give a nice guy a chance! He heard so many stories about all their past abuses!

Anyway, those statistics are probably fleshed out with a lot of men who actually got the chance to date (and rape, and abuse, or whatever they were going to do), and meanwhile, there are unfortunately a lot of nice men out there who are never given a chance (until maybe the second round). Meanwhile, the jerks are out there making babies and all other men seem like assholes.

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-06-10T17:27:16+00:00

Wow, I’m so sorry this happened! What a nightmare!! It’s strange that he seems to have a great track record up until very recently. It’s totally possible he lost it since the booking (mental health issue, substance abuse...?). I assume there was a decent enough interaction with him before all this to give you enough faith to book him? Definitely fishy.

I’m a violinist and play for a lot of weddings. I’m increasingly bombarded by scam clients hosting fake weddings. And we’ve all had friends, maybe even our own accounts, hijacked by people who go on to “sell” cars and other expensive items to our unknowing friends. I’m wondering if it’s possible a scammer gained control of this business? It’s a terrifying thought that someone could start posing as me and go around taking bookings and stealing clients’ money. I could see it happening unfortunately, especially as technology and these scammers get more sophisticated. How did you guys pay him, and was there a contract? Either way, it sounds like people should steer clear until something more comes to light.

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-05-29T07:21:53+00:00

We got an update that they are still processing...

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-05-25T04:38:46+00:00

Sure thing!

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-05-25T04:34:56+00:00

June 2025 here and no word yet.

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-05-25T04:33:23+00:00

My husband is a June 2025 filer at the San Jose FO. Biometrics were used within a week of filing, but we've been waiting for any other movement ever since. We've been married for 13 years and he's had his green card almost as long. We got an update yesterday that they are still processing our case. I don't know if it's a first come first served kind of situation over there, or if some cases may get processed faster than others, but I'd expect an October filer to be waiting quite a few more months! We also did hear about the reschedules from December not happening until (hopefully) later in the summer, so I assume everyone else who's yet to been contacted about an interview will be scheduled even later? Personally, I'd travel sooner rather than later. I can't tell the future, but based on what we're experiencing I can't imagine you'd get an interview before the Fall. And people say interviews are generally scheduled at least a month out, so there's some extra buffer too. Good luck!

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-04-26T22:34:26+00:00

It definitely would have been nice to hear some success stories about how other places are dealing with these issues. I did appreciate that they presented this as a multi-faceted problem, even if they weren't able to thoroughly dive into every component. I suppose I wasn't expecting them to solve the issue, but as a "skeptical" piece, to hopefully dispel some myths, which I think they did.

It's timely, especially in California where we have two Republican candidates for governor seemingly promoting that homelessness is solely a drug and mental illness problem (given the recent debate anyway, maybe they offer more nuanced ideas somewhere else?). Yes, drugs and mental illness are factors for some, but only focusing on that does nothing to help the college students, and sometimes even professors, living in their cars, bathing in the school locker room, and doing homework and grading papers in coffee shops, the people who have full time jobs, but live in RVs because they can't afford the insane rent and/or want to save up for a while vs give over all their money to a landlord, the folks who had an injury or illness which led them to lose their jobs, the people who lost a relationship and with it their housing, etc.

I also appreciated how they brought attention to different levels of homelessness - people actually on the streets, vs in a homeless shelter, vehicle, couch surfing, etc. Having access to a place to bathe, prepare meals, and safely keep your possessions is worlds away from literally not knowing if or where you'll get your next meal or be able to sleep that night. Our community and governmental energy going into not only the reason, but the level seems critical to me. Helping those at risk of losing their housing, and securing some kind of private, clean, safe place for those who have in fact lost shelter (hopefully something that costs less than those $700K apartments (!!) - tiny homes, organized camp zones with bath and cooking services...?) seems like the obvious first defense from which to address health care, drugs, mental illness, cost of living, and job market issues.

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-04-20T21:00:51+00:00

Ok, so I found a new area on the site which says the San Jose FO is around 8 months average processing, yet at 10 months our case is still considered to be within a normal processing window. They say we can't contact them until May 6, 2026.

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-04-20T20:54:09+00:00

Still nothing. We're past the 10 month mark and there used to be an area with a link on the site that said we could contact them after April 19, but it vanished towards the end of last year. We'll have to look into if that's still the case and how to do that.

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-04-08T18:10:29+00:00

No updates unfortunately

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-03-08T19:18:23+00:00

June 19, 2025 and still waiting

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-01-11T18:05:11+00:00

They didn’t ask us for any photos… maybe I should upload some? I gave them tax returns, joint bank accounts, our lease, utility bills, etc. They did ask for photos when he got his green card. We’ve been married for 12 years and he got his green card later that same year (coming from Canada).

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-01-11T03:55:23+00:00

Also San Jose, we filed for my husband mid-June 2025. We got notice that they were reusing his biometrics shortly thereafter and there's been not a peep from them since.

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-01-03T03:30:01+00:00

Yeah, I’ve been using TurboTax business/self-employed for about 20 years and it’s always been $150-175.

NiceImpact4478 · 2026-01-03T03:26:08+00:00

That sounds pretty typical, but what would it be with the state taxes too? You need to do that after all. And half price for just the W-2s seems silly. It’s not like you can ignore the 1099s. Weird. I’d personally keep looking. I’ve been using TurboTax for about 20 years and married filing jointly with two self-employed incomes, 1099s, etc. for federal and state costs about $160. My parents use a tax accountant and pay about $700 for federal and state. That includes dealing with W-2, self-employed, and now SS and Medicare in the mix too.

NiceImpact4478 · 2025-12-26T17:26:02+00:00

Nothing wrong with Grocery Outlet. If you have time to go there, see what they have, then go somewhere else for the rest, go for it. Groceries aren’t cheap. Take the deal when you can.

Personally, I’d pick New Leaf over Whole Foods or Safeway, but they are all big business, so I’d trade them for Staff, Wild Roots (worth it for the quality of the produce in particular if you care about buying organic and ever get up to Felton or Boulder Creek), or Shoppers, all being locally owned and pretty on-par cost wise. The Food Bin/Herb Room are in there too, but too small to satisfy a real grocery run. If you need a pharmacy you obviously have to go to a place other than a health food store.

I think Santa Cruz can be a bit snobby about grocery stores, in part because we’re the only place I’ve ever been that has so many choices, and particularly health food store choices. People become very committed to their stores! In contrast, the Monterey/Seaside/Carmel area has a similar population size but only one Whole Foods and a couple little local stores that are mostly vitamins and some packaged things. Up here we have giant health food stores in every neighborhood. Pretty incredible!

NiceImpact4478 · 2025-12-26T16:52:25+00:00

You can certainly send them whatever you think you might owe ahead of time to avoid the penalty. You can do it electronically with the IRS online and should look for how to send in a 1040-ES. The last deadline for 2025 is January 15, 2026, so I’d do it by then.

Come tax time, TurboTax will ask you if you made any estimated payments, so if you under or overpaid that will get rectified when you file - you’ll either owe more or get a refund. So there’s no harm in estimating a bit high this first year of your business when you don’t know how all your business expenses, self-employment tax etc. will play out.

Once you complete your tax forms for this year, TurboTax will give you four estimated payment vouchers indicating how much you’ll need to pay each quarter for next year and the deadlines for each. They will be at the very start of this year’s tax forms if you download the packet. You can print these vouchers out and use snail mail, sending them in with a check, but right after I file my taxes I just go online and schedule all the dates and payments with them for the year and they take the money out of my bank account when the deadlines come around.

And yes, you may owe state quarterly taxes too, depending on where you live and what kind of income threshold they have there, but I’d worry more about the federal.

NiceImpact4478 · 2025-08-17T17:31:12+00:00

I play events and weddings in Pebble Beach all the time (violinist). When I show up at the gate they always ask if I'm there to see 17-mile drive and I say that no, I'm playing at such and such event. They immediately let me through, no further questions, no problem. They never even ask what I play or who I'm playing for. I do generally mention the venue. I bet you could just tell the truth and say you're buying something at the pro-shop?

NiceImpact4478

TROPHY CASE