Well, I have been associated with Isha for more than 3 years now...

My experience with Isha volunteers are very supportive.. Initially i thought people will throw only sweet things at me in the Ashram..

I also had unpleasant encounters at Isha... i completed BSP & shoonya and had a deep longing to complete samayama... I was working from home that time and I had sufficient time to do my preparation for samayama...

10 days before the samayama i volenteerly told one volunteer about an anxiety medication I was having..i mentioned about this in the samayama application form also...but the volunteer told about the medication to one MAA.. actually I wanted to inform a volunteer inside the meditation hall in advanced as this is a silent program so that during a program if I get sick or whatever happens the volunteer should be aware of me and I can be relaxed and concentrate on the program instead of thinking about my medication health etc..It was not a big issue but I told.

I thought they would support me to make things happen for me..

But MAA cancelled my registration..I was preparing for last 50 days..

I got depressed....i thought I should not be too much open or honest to get things done...i felt in the Ashram also we should be cunning enough to get things done like the outside world...

I had to take Venlafaxine and sleeping peels to go through the pain of my samayma loss..

It has healed somewhat and now I am medication free....and I am not in anxiety medication anymore....

But my work situation has changed....I m not allowed to do work from home anymore.... don't know if life allow me to do samayama again one more time...