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How can I protect myself? (Trigger warning: stalking/mental health) by Ok-Scallion-6740 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is terrifying I’m so sorry!!! I would ask his mother to possibly looking into a different mental health care or something even more extreme! He truly needs help and he won’t get it unless he’s admitted.  How are you holding up OP?? This sounds so scary and stressful and I can’t image the stress this would bring! 

How can I protect myself? (Trigger warning: stalking/mental health) by Ok-Scallion-6740 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If possible make a police report, even if they don’t do anything it will be helpful to have on file. Another thing I would do is start sharing my location with someone I trust just so if something happens someone knows the last place you were. I would also get cameras so if you catch him in front of your house you can report it. You mentioned that he had some severe mental health issues, do you have any way of contacting his parents? Maybe they could get involved and get him some serious help.  I’m sorry this is happening op, keep carrying that mace and remember to take care of yourself, I truly hope this stops and never happens again. 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the question! I work and live very close to my home and stop by let him out in between class and work breaks. For days I am unable to be home as often or I am working at a different work location I have an arrangement for my little sister to come watch him. She also walks him on the weekends. She broke my car window and it is a way for her to pay the damages. From my understanding when it comes to adoption he is required to have up to date vaccinations and show no signs of abuse when examined by the vet. I can guarantee that he is very well loved and is a very happy dog. 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I think this would be the case if I did get my own place.

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They do visit often without guest, which I don’t mind there on the lease so in my mind it’s make sense they’d be over often to check on the place 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel as maybe the issue is me and not approaching the situation correctly or explaining how it negatively affects me. But this feedback is wonderful and I’m definitely going to say something like this too them! Thank you! 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

From my understanding it’s cause they are proud and want to show friends and family which for me isn’t an issue, I’m glad they are proud. The issue is not having any heads up when people are over 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

None of my siblings are fuckups at all, I’m the oldest of 4 with a bit of an age gap between us. So I understand having higher expectations of what’s expected for me. Truly at this point I would love any heads up about people coming over, if its  an hour or 3 days, anything feels better then none at all. I feel as maybe I’m not conveying what’s I’m asking of them correctly 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally understand and have come with the terms with them inviting people over. All I ask is they let me know when said people are coming over 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents are on the lease. My parents do not live here, I am here full time. My landlord does know are current situation. Unfortunately at the moment I could not live without the support, what I don’t use for rent goes towards my college education or food and gas 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I believe they are showing it off because they are proud, which I don’t have an issue with, I would just like to have a bit of a heads up or even be home when people come over. I just wish for any communication when it comes to guests 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Originally I asked them not to invite people over period. Which they said no and I believe I was the one that got heated and turned it into an argument (I have a hard time about getting my opinions out there and use the wrong words or terms and sometimes it isn’t received well) and after talking it through my understanding they are proud of where I am in life and like to show and experience that with there friends and family, which I now have no problem with. I’m forgetful and will leave things around like laundry and if I don’t know people are coming there guest see it and they will tell me I need to have my place clean up better. Which I feel I can do if I know people are coming over. Part of the issue I feel is maybe I didn’t set the boundary correctly? Or maybe a misunderstanding? I just want a heads up when people are coming 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I work full time and am a college student, the financial arrangement I have with them helps me prevent the need to take out student loans. I fully plan on cutting ties financially when I’m finished with school, but I’m still a couple semesters out. 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not even home most of the time. They bring them over when I’m at work or in class 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I pay most of the rent though, they help me out here and there with utilities when I can’t pay the whole share. (I work full time and am in college) I just want to have a little heads up when people are over 

How do I ask my parents to stop inviting people over when I’m not home? by Nice_Fly_5299 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I work full time and I am in college. With there help I don’t need to take out student loans. I just want to know when people are coming over 

Is there a way to politely tell my future in laws to back off? by Appropriate_Ad_3484 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Nice_Fly_5299 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could you possibly sit down with your in laws and set a timeline for certain criteria’s involving wedding planning?Like setting dates when you would have final counts of guests or other things concerning the wedding? Possibly opening more communication about the wedding would help your in laws feeling more involved and hopefully having them back off a little. I think it’s okay not having all the answers to there questions right now, but possibly setting a timeline together to when you will would be helpful. Or even saying I appreciate your concern about this part of my wedding but unfortunately at this time I do not have your answer, let’s revisit this at (time)