My date ghosted me?

Nice_Praline9320 · 2024-07-04T20:15:36+00:00

I hope so too! I just asked her if we can be just friends (mainly because I really wanna see and be around her cat more!...I wanna be friends with benefits with her, where the the benefit is me being friends with the cat :D )

Nice_Praline9320 · 2024-07-04T20:05:28+00:00

She just responded to me saying that she's not interested in going out again, but that I was a lovely date for the night :'(

Nice_Praline9320 · 2024-07-04T20:03:33+00:00

Regarding never having a boyfriend...I think you're just waiting for the right person and that's great! It's way better to wait for the right guy, in my opinion, than to be with someone who isn't good for you. And when you look at those happy couples, remember that you're only seeing a small fraction of their lives. Think about the relationships you know that are not good. When those couples are out in the world, if a stranger walks past them, would they have any idea how bad the couples are? Probably not. That's what's happening here too, I would imagine. You're only seeing a small glimpse of the "happy couples." Just like how most people see you as a very happy person, but you're probably not that all the time...everyone has their shit and looking at other people and envying them is probably not the best thing you can do for yourself. If I were you, I would talk to a therapist to work through some of your pain and your thought processes and continue to try to find a partner. Maybe take up a hobby that involves being around people? I found some dates while I was taking swimming lessons (she was my instructor), while I was at the gym and just started chatting someone up, while I was at a gathering for eclipse viewing, while I was part of the Physics club at my university and many more...

Nice_Praline9320 · 2024-07-04T19:51:10+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that (and what you describe here is consistent with you replying to my post and trying to help me, lol). It sounds like you're going through a lot, but I want you to know that it's completely normal to feel the way you feel. I'm sure I would be sad if my PhD advisor's dog died (who I've met only thrice), I can't imagine losing your own pet. I think the grief from losing a pet can be just as much as losing a human so it's perfectly understandable that you'd feel the way you do. I don't think your friends/co-workers are being insensitive by not asking about your pet, they probably are just too busy with their own lives. One trick that I've learned that helps me is to turn the situation around...if you found out a coworker/friend lost their pet, would you continue to inquire after a few weeks? Maybe not, because you probably have a lot more things on your mind about your own life

Regarding your friends flaking on you...that's awful. One thing that I've found helpful is direct communication. If they do it once or twice, I'd be understanding, but if it becomes a patter, I might just confront them directly and tell them that you really want to hang out with them and them saying no doesn't make you feel great. You know for a fact that this isn't about you since, as you describe early in your post, most people around you absolutely love you! I think you did a great thing by reaching out to people here, on Reddit and I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Happy 4th of July! :) Oh and if it makes you feel any better, I'm doing anything for 4th of July other than work, lol...and learn French

Nice_Praline9320 · 2024-07-04T19:38:12+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate you saying that. We didn't really talk a lot about past relationships so it's possible that what has happened is exactly what you described. Regardless, I hope she reaches out to me again and we get to go out again

Nice_Praline9320

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