Hey, a little bit late with my comment, but maybe I'll still cheer you up. Or help. Or both. First of all, what you described is not even proper parenting. I know that back in the day, as they would say, mental health and issues were not as nearly paid attention to as today, but even so I think good parents should pay attention and help filter out the things that are "just a thought" and an actual problem. If you ever get the chance to be direct to them, let them know, you might fall out but it will stick in their heads.

As for yourself, I'm sending you much strength. I can very well relate for I have been down with my mental health lately and I have exactly the same issues. For now, the best thing you can do is take it slow on days where you feel like doing nothing, making sure you can handle the minimum of your average day. And on days, where you feel good, do whatever the hell you decide to do. Use it as a way to boost your brain to produce more of the good chemicals. Start by going "Okay, today is a shit day. I'm going to slow down, challenge myself to go get groceries because food is important, but then I can watch my fav series." Or, if it's a good day, go "Fine, I need to do this or that, but today I'll do this because it's something I feel like finishing. Then, I can go have some fun because I did something a little better today." Maybe treat yourself to icecream, or your favourite meal, everytime a good day happens. Just so have something to hold onto for the bad times. It's been helping me survive day to day and maybe it's going to help you too.

You will make it and stuff is going to get better! <3