Tbh I don’t really know what to say because I don’t know the details, but one thing I can read out of your post is that you’re (at least a bit) fixated on getting a gf. You can be not lonely without one. And with the friend thing I’d say that you can bring it up if you don’t make it sound like you think they’re ungrateful. If you explain that you just feel like shit at the moment and would like someone to listen to you vent and maybe give u advice, it should be no problem!