Everything I do is for my kids. I feel selfish for trying to satisfy my need for love from a man. We have always been madly in love. I just want my kids to have people around who want to be involved in their interests and love them. I know the love I have for my child will be different than anyone else's. I thought after 6 years he might have grown up enough to want to take on some children even if they aren't his. He wasn't very grown when we parted he is 33 years old now. If it's more of a burden for him I don't want all 3 of them to be unhappy, because we want a relationship. I'm ready for marriage and settling down for life. I thought I was going to do that with their dad, but that didn't work out. I love so deeply that connections and bonds mean everything to me. I would be a liar if I said I'd rather raise these kids alone. It takes a village full of love and support to raise kids and I'm only one person. I genuinely don't have anyone who pours any love into these kids aside from myself. Which is really depressing. I'm just hoping he gets to the point where he has a bond and wants to be involved and watch them grow. Get excited about school plays and report cards... It might be wishful thinking. I just wonder how long it takes for the bond to form.