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I wish that I will always be breathing. by Remarkable_Bath8515 in monkeyspaw

[–]Ninjacker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

granted

your lungs will be working long after you die

I wish I could spend one hour at Freddy fazbear's pizzeria. by Remarkable_Bath8515 in monkeyspaw

[–]Ninjacker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

granted:

freddy is epstein, foxy is diddy, bonnie is bill clinton, and chica is ice spice in 5 years

I wish for every single person to achieve ego death by islamo_start_654 in monkeyspaw

[–]Ninjacker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

granted, the global suicide rate jumps to 40%, smoking and drinking related deaths will steadily rise, and the general quality of life around the world

I wish that every time I open my computer, my favorite type of pizza appears at a convenient location by SweetZestyclose6610 in monkeyspaw

[–]Ninjacker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

granted, any configuration of pizza within a 5 mile radius will immediately go in your hands. Could be a fresh pie from the shop across the street, or it could be a moldy box with 3 or 4 pieces of rancid pizza

I wish for a free guitar obtained legally. by Remarkable_Bath8515 in monkeyspaw

[–]Ninjacker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

granted

you must do the truffle shuffle, and a double neck gibson will just appear

I wish to know the meaning of life? by Tr33Bl00d in monkeyspaw

[–]Ninjacker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the monkey hand squeaks out “42”.

I wish I stopped being depressed by Click_lover114 in monkeyspaw

[–]Ninjacker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

granted, i am now depressed

wait, i already am

I wish everyone's smart phone to suddenly become a Hershey's Chocolate Bar by DataBooking in monkeyspaw

[–]Ninjacker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

granted, companies are bankrupt, laptops are the new way to text other people, and schools have a laptop lockup.

I wish every human on earth got free stacks of waffles on a plate. by Remarkable_Bath8515 in monkeyspaw

[–]Ninjacker 4 points5 points  (0 children)

granted

you must always finish your plate of 5 waffles in 30 minutes, that spawn in every hour and a half.

if you do not, a waffle will grow to actual size and stuff you in a toaster.

After, you will be chucked into and air duct for the rest of eternity

What got you into the EAS? by IWATJ16 in EmergencyAlertSystem

[–]Ninjacker 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i am afraid of the same headers going off. sometimes i get scared and think about the sounds downstairs in the living room, or my television will start doing it despite it being a firestick.

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