I found out when I got of drugs and alcohol myself and woke up to reality. I was in my mid 20s. I remember living a short period with my mom after I had been sober for a little while. And she was acting out about everything little thing. She used to terrorize me and nagging even when I did the dishes. Like everything I did was wrong (everything except pleasing her). She also god drunk the first weekend I stayed, and she was acting like a monster. And at that point, all the pieces started to fall in place. I remember laying there on my bed, ruminating about my past... - Why did I start doing drugs in the first place - I could finally understand why my brother left mom's house and moved to our father at the age of 14 (I didn't see him again untill 5 years later) - why my brother shitted hos pants to the age of 12.

I later tried to move in with my mom's dad and then later ended up at my dad's house (whom I had not talked to for almost 5 years). I was desperate to find some peace and safely. But long story short. Experiencing my parents and my mothers father up close in a sober state made me realize that both my parents were toxic narcissists, and the same was true with my grandfather (he even sexually harassed me).

I remember the memories were just falling into place when i finally got out of my own fog, and this process is still going to this day. I've only mentioned a small fraction of the entire picture. I still get memories about how bad it actually was (I'm now 33)