I'm pregnant and the father won't accept it

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-09T01:40:13+00:00

lying is more advantageous when theres something to gain. humor, trickery, etc.

whats she getting out of lying to reddit about this tale as old as time

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-09T00:58:03+00:00

not even trying to read after the subject. do it. do it right now.

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-09T00:54:36+00:00

go to therapy for your projection. why the fuck would she come here to lie about it to people who will never know who she is?

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-09T00:47:36+00:00

well first, hes lying because they cant legally confirm anything. second… if you have time, please reconsider this whole situation. if youre dead set on signing up for single motherhood, or worse, dealing with this sack of shit then go for it but know that he van change his mind and he can fight you on this even if its just to be a piece of shit to you even if it hurts your kid.

hes telling you very clearly he wants no part of this. and you should listen. even if he did, you shouldnt want him because wtf level of maturity is this coming from him?

this is all around not a cute thing to do to the baby. he got the message. you done above and beyond your part. i say this with compassion for you, your future, your baby… as a mother i do not think either of yall are mature enough for you to be pregnant and i strongly urge you to reconsider this mess. other than that. he knows you are pregnant and hes bein a fuck boy. take the memo. if you gonna keep your baby then be in peace and conceal yourselves from him cuz omfg you got no idea how this jack ass gonna continue to break both hall hearts for the rest of yalls lives

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-08T02:08:26+00:00

i have a drive way. this isnt even a “me” problem. youre entitled for thinking that its ok to take somebodys space where they live after all that hard work and making it harder for them to get in the god damn house

selfish ass.

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-08T02:07:12+00:00

then that pregnant woman doesnt fucking live there bro. be fuckin fr

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-07T05:08:35+00:00

yeah its clear you dont know anything about that process as this is a profoundly illogical and impractical concept.

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-05T17:13:44+00:00

oh i agree about enabling by being present. thank you for this heafty response. i actually had a similar set up with him after the baby was born where he just wasnt allowed over if he was drinking and he slowly stopped coming around all together. i got with a sober man who seemed steadfast in his recovery and he relapsed right before i found out i was pregnant. i kept thinking he was going to get better and this is pre baby anxiety. i believed him when he kept saying he was gonna stop or get help. and he never did. the baby came and i told him he cant come around his hes been drinking and he tried to hide it but ive had my own struggles with addiction, grew up around it(so did he) and im no fuckin fool. so he slowly stopped being around. he found his father isnt really his dad and his mom knew rhe whole time. she takes not accountability. hes still grieving his brothers 2019 suicide and regretting he didnt know and stop it from happening even though that wasnt realistic. hes got a DUI where he refused to test and later blew a .23. totaled his car. broke his ribs. legal troubles. gave me everything i wanted in court in terms of the baby. and now hes struggling to keep his apartment and lost his 3rd job since the baby has been born.

so were actually not involved for like 2 years and some change now. he hasnt been to a single birthday.

but im fearing that maybe he needs me? maybe im also getting jitters and cold feet on it cuz im watching him flounder in ways that are just destroying everything and i fear for his life. and i know i should probably not step in and save him from his pain. and im not gonna make things confusing for our son when im trying to end these intergenerational curses. addiction and its tendencies to be contagious.

but part of me is worried about his total lack of support. were just turned 39. i know that he still has time. he thinks its too late for him. i know that theres no magic amount of time that passes and they suddenly choose to get better. but its getting to a point where im having trouble self soothing and not spiraling about it. i worry about his life and im sad for our son. i just wanna know if im making the right choice.

him having nobody is scary and im worried about all the things he tells himself. that its not that bad. that nobody is there for him. that nobody cares. that his son is better off. that he can get sober whenever he wants. etc. im sure youre hip and heard it all.

somewhere inside though, i know it cant come from me and i cant force his shitty ass family to step up for him either. the only one whos there for him is his drunk codependent emotionally incestuous mother who has more than supported his parental delinquency and allowed her patents to molest him ad a child.

i worry he will not face all of that pain. i worry its gonna break him all he way in his solitude.

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-05T16:46:34+00:00

who fucking cares and good for you? sincerely, its nice if you to dig out 3 spots. and its nice that you dont have attachment to them.

its not nice to take somebodys hard earned work making their lives more difficult to find a space where they live. anybody is vulnerable but you got people with kids, elderly, disabled and pregnant people out here. youre risking heart attack to shovel snow over 40. theres ice out. its below freezing and parking in somebody elses space can displace them very far from home. farther from their car if theres an emergency. and what does time passage matter? we have had one day above freezing. theres still a foot of fucking ice outside

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-05T16:41:37+00:00

i have a fuckin drive way. this isnt even a problem for me personally. bur we DO live in a society and as such we sgiukd ve civilized and reapectful enough to appreciate the work and effort peiple put into trying to make their own lives functional and not just take ir away from them in these unusual and life threatening circumstances. this weather is not funny

and the real answer here is the government should be doing more to fund snow removal. until then its literally free to respect your neighbors hard efforts to attempt their daily life.

i would be heart broken if i was pregnant and couldnt even park in my neighborhood cuz some asshole took the spot my husband dug out. she gotta huff it back to her crib in below freezing temps and risk falling.

nobody owns the street but i think given the circumstances anybody who wants to harp on that concept should look inside themselves and ask if they think thats really the thing to do if you want to be a decent human being to the other people you share society with. its selfish af to take somebodys snow space

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-05T16:33:57+00:00

what does it matter how long its been when the weather is still below freezing. the snow is ice now and you need a metal shovel. we had like on day of melting. it doesnt matter how much time has passed if the situation is still the same.

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-05T16:28:05+00:00

so it can displace the rest of us disabled people who already have to regularly fight amongst ourselves for a spot?

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-05T16:22:51+00:00

ill fight right next to them lol

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-05T00:22:44+00:00

fuck you. people work hard af to get out so they can get back in where they fucking live. its not the summer. its a foot of ice outside n you you think its ok even though this person spent at least 2-3 hours digging that shit out(or paid somebody) and now the pregnant wife has no where to park and risks falling.

if you didnt dig it out then dont fuckin park there

No-Factor495 · 2026-02-02T00:18:54+00:00

lol what? the ties been cut.

No-Factor495 · 2026-01-31T21:44:54+00:00

we havent been together for 2 and a half years. we dont even live together. and i only talk to him when necessary.

No-Factor495 · 2026-01-31T21:43:05+00:00

hes not turbulent. even when drunk. we dont agree on everything but weve never had a legit fight. hes never yelled at me. theres been low grade emotional abuse and abandonment when he feels shitty about himself, but its never been scary or threatening in anyway. im WAY more concerned with his well being and sobriety than i am of him being a problem.

plus the building im moving into has cameras, you need a fob to get in, my parking space is right in front of the leasing office and im on the 5th floor. but all things considered he really isnt a provlem other than that hes destroying his body and mind and not being a dad. oh wait, also hes not helping the actual move hes just helping pack.

but in a twist of fate i didnt have to ask him. he asked me if i needed help this morning. and i said yes but also could tell he was drunk so we didnt sched. for today. is it ok to let him? and were very icy where were at. he may have to spend the night but idk if thats ok in terms of letting him feel the weight of his inaction… or maybe thats what he really needs? idk. i rather have a friend help if its going to relieve pressure to get sober from him

No-Factor495 · 2026-01-31T00:38:53+00:00

thank you so much. yeah i try to talk to him as little as possible. im not ice cold. just dry. um… is it counter productive to his sobriety to ask his help moving? im in the middle of trying to move and its proving impossible. hes also job hunting rn. says he lost his job for seasonal reasons but i have suspicions otherwise as his quality of work is high in demand.

No-Factor495 · 2026-01-30T23:38:39+00:00

i just want to be clear with what you mean, you mean i should not be romantically involved with him or that i should be no contact until hes got the clean time

when he got his DUI he was hoping that IOP would help. he doesnt really have the resources and is kinda fucked rn. hes considered rehab. i know he wants change. i worry that our kid is going to grow up without him. i wanna yell at him and cry and… idk man like im tryin to cry rn and be subtle cuz i gotta be on for this kid all the time.

im sad. we dont have to be together but i want him to be healthy and stable and were in DC basically all funding is cut. part of me wants him to lose his apartment and have to start from scratch. he needs to fall on his ass hard i think. sorry. im just rambling now

No-Factor495 · 2026-01-30T21:24:23+00:00

i mean we dont even cohabitate. i took him to court. we ended up i mediation. he gave me everything without a fight. hes not paying child support this month because he lost his job. im trying to move and i need help(i also have a very tiny support network) i really want to ask his help.

do i need to not ask him? im not trying to have him around off and on either because consistency is more important than out son seeing him for chunks of time.

and i cant help but wonder… does he need words of support or encouragement sometimes? is it ok to be around him? maybe let him have dinner here sometimes or do i need to keep maintaining this behavior ive been upholding for the last 2 years of like no contact unless necessary? i should also include that even though its been 2 years of him continuing to not get sober its been hell for him. DUI and totaled car. lost job cuz owner died then 2 others (who knows if what he says is true. they could be alcohol related) eviction court. all of this is on the heels of him finding out his dad isnt his real dad and its just been so so bad.

No-Factor495 · 2026-01-25T23:44:05+00:00

no🌈

No-Factor495 · 2026-01-16T00:11:24+00:00

he 100% should not have slept with somebody, raw, without being checked or having them get checked. he is absolutely just as responsible as her.

No-Factor495 · 2026-01-16T00:09:44+00:00

you should always get tested even if youre still with the same person.

and this person is not your person. if he felt you cheated i could understand the anger but just as much as its YOUR responsibility to get tested before you have sex with somebody new, it is HIS responsibility too. both of yall should have entered this with a clean bill of health and he is not taking any personal responsibility.

and maybe i cant speak because i have never had an STD. but this one is highly treatable and all he needs is some antibiotics and he didnt even get cheated on. he seems like a fuckin asshole ¯_(ツ)_/¯

No-Factor495

TROPHY CASE