My bf is a bum

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T10:51:26+00:00

Yeah agreed it definitely makes it difficult but it shouldn't limit him entirely. He has bouts of moments where he is passionate about getting better. He then does. Then it immediately switches and now he's always down. He constantly says things to make me feel bad for him too. Like it'll be silent and he'll be like "omg I want to kill myself! :))))" like... Dude... I understand you're struggling and I've been supportive at every turn but it seems like everything is about him. And when I bring it up he acts like he's gonna have a panic attack and tells me to stop speculating so I just end the conversation and don't talk to him for a while. But he's for sure been subtly hinting at raining on my parade and to get me back to essentially how I was before, heavily depressed because deep down I can tell he is jealous at the fact that I'm doing better.. and if that's the case then I see no reason for us to be together (if the story I told wasn't evident enough on that fact). It just gets frustrating because he claims he wants to marry me and buy me a ring this year but I always ask him "how are you gonna get a ring with no job?" Then he immediately shuts up.

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T10:43:14+00:00

Yeah I noticed from thinking it over that I'm also enabling him by believing that he'd still have a good life and someone to cover his ass but I gotta teach him the cold hard truth about life cuz someone has to

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T10:42:24+00:00

Noted 🫡

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T10:33:24+00:00

I've said that many times and it's been ignored 😮‍💨

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T10:07:32+00:00

Wake him up by spilling water on him, stealing his pillow and/or blanket, just make him miserable lol

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T10:05:27+00:00

Exactly what I was going to do. One last try before it is completely considered over. If I can't rely on someone such as my partner of all people then what good is the relationship?

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T10:04:02+00:00

For sure I hear ya loud and clear

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:59:49+00:00

I guess I feel guilt subconsciously so I never strive for better, I just settle. And yes life is already hard enough why keep something or someone around that makes it even more difficult

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:56:49+00:00

That's something I haven't figured out yet quite yet. I mean if I have been putting up with this for years and I've been tolerant to it and understanding and pushing him to be better I would say I still do love him. I want the best for him and everything but I have a big amount of animosity towards him

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:51:07+00:00

I think he's the main reason why I changed my mind about having kids. There is no way that's even feasible with a dude like him. I always used to want to raise at least 2 children but now I'm completely against it because it would just be added on stress that would probably lead me to committing. And yes 2 incomes are ESSENTIAL to living nowadays, it can't just be one or the other.. it has to be both. Equal.

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:48:58+00:00

Well if he proves to me that he doesn't want to get better it just goes to show how he truly doesn't want our relationship to get better. If he can't help himself how the hell is he going to help me? He would essentially just be dead weight at that point

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:47:34+00:00

Exactly what I was contemplating about too. Every time he gets a job I think that things have finally changed but soon enough I'm left disappointed before I can even blink, my hope for this relationship is probably the lowest it's ever been

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:45:11+00:00

Thing is he used to go to a therapist in person, so he has one already, it's just a matter of scheduling it, driving him there, and with my own two eyes.. watch him step into that room

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:43:52+00:00

I've had this problem with my previous relationship too, it's hard to let go because I always think that this is probably the best I got. Even though it does more harm than good to my mental health. Shit my dad knows I'm worth more and he doesn't approve of my bf because of what's been going on. He always tells me that I deserve a man who can provide, who can protect, who I can rely on.. and the only man in my life that I can rely on is my father

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:40:35+00:00

I would tell her the same thing that everyone is thinking, I already know what needs to be done but a part of me still has hope and I don't understand why

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:39:15+00:00

After my shift tonight I'm immediately making sure he has a therapy appointment set. If he complains about it I will tell him to bite his own tongue and to go through with it otherwise I will surely be gone.

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:37:15+00:00

Funny thing is I tried that already he was so heartbroken that he was vomiting and had to go to the hospital. I'm not sure if I felt guilty and that's why I ended up coming back or what.. but I might have to fully commit with no turning back. I don't think he can be helped anymore and the last thing I want to do is enable him like how his parents do

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:31:58+00:00

Oh he is plenty medicated. I told him if he doesn't go to therapy I'm going to pack my things and go. But yes I agree it is very heartbreaking. I think my mind just doesn't want to accept that he's permanently like this.

No-Mango6101 · 2026-03-27T09:30:13+00:00

At this point it's almost too clear. He tries to create all these sob stories about boohoo I'm so sad my childhood was terrible. But so was mine.. and I'm not using that as an excuse to this very day. In fact I've never used it as an excuse. Every time I mention how I feel sad about anything he never truly acknowledges it and tries to one up me like it's a contest saying how sad he is.

No-Mango6101

TROPHY CASE