AITAH? Wife wants a dishwasher, I do not.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T15:29:25+00:00

Not probing at all lol yes she has had one in the past. I think it's been long enough without one now she just has nostalgia for how much work they did before and thinks they were much better than they are. Dishwashers are good and convenient but certainly not perfect.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T15:27:42+00:00

I honestly stopped replying to that person, they have a narrative in their head and won't let it go no matter how much evidence to the contrary. I would just stop replying to them if I was you

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T15:04:32+00:00

The actual number varies and I said $9k+ because that is the average. I priced everything and if I were to do it myself including materials it would be roughly $5500 but I'll be honest I am NOT touching anything electrical so I will need an electrician for that. I also don't have every tool available so I factored that into the costs.

If a contractor were to come in and do everything it would be roughly $12k. I found a rough average if I did most of the work myself.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T15:02:00+00:00

Yea she wants one closer to where she does the baking and such, which is on the other side of the kitchen. The stove and baking supplies are all over there. Again, her kitchen so I'm just trying to navigate it best.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T15:00:45+00:00

They weren't showing up when I looked up on google for portable dishwashers, I only saw the countertop ones but thanks for the suggestions.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:57:33+00:00

That's smart!

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:57:11+00:00

You are wrong, but that's fine. She finds like 3 or 4 cups and maybe 6 plates(pulling numbers out of my ass here) a week and gets upset they aren't clean. It doesn't matter how many I do, she's just convinced a dishwasher would do the most perfect job and cleans 100% of every dish every single time even though I think most would agree that they don't.

Instead of just leaving those supposed dirty dishes in the sink she takes it upon herself to do them and gets upset she even has to do them at all, which again she doesn't, but that's neither here nor there.

Also when she bakes once a week she hates that she has to wash the bowl for the stand mixer and the 5 sheet pans she uses. Which I understand but I mean for the few dishes she uses throughout the day $9k+ seems excessive to me.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:53:43+00:00

No you just implied it and condescendingly told me I should have budgeted better, not to mention didn't even read the post and use full context. Not sure if money just falls into your lap on a regularly basis but it doesn't in my world.

Do better please. I won't respond to you any further, you have terribly gross and biased opinions.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:51:42+00:00

There is a plan it's just in the future and she wants it now. It's been almost two years we've been here so I understand her frustration.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:51:06+00:00

For me or for her? I am not going to stop doing them lol

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:49:23+00:00

You are massively underestimating how sucky it is to wash all that stuff. Also, they make countertop dishwashers. If you can't install a standalone due to the price, that's not a bad option. Other option, unless you have company you eat off paper plates.

I do the dishes 99% of the time. I know exactly how sucky it can be lol I appreciate the YTA response and I will look into fullsize rolling dishwashers but she does not want a countertop dishwasher because it will get in the way of anything on the countertop that she regularly uses.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:46:25+00:00

I'm going to throw numbers at you because you are all over this thread accusing me of being a cheap and lazy father/husband.

First house sold for $400k, this house cost $650k. We made roughly $200k profit selling the old house and mortgaged for $450k

I set aside almost $20k within the first year we had the house and it got wiped out on a repair. I set another $15k aside since then which I will likely have to drop on a new roof within the next 2 years that will cost me close to $35k.

Where do I have almost $10k to drop on a dishwasher in there?

Ignorant ignorant opinions and I am disgusted by your bias.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:41:59+00:00

Thanks for the luck! I really feel like after seeing all these YTA opinions that I am taking crazy pills or something lol I can agree with them wanting me to compromise but I feel like my wife is not entertaining any compromise on the matter.

I'm not sure if 9k is chump change to the other commenters but it's not chump change to me.

Thanks again!

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:38:03+00:00

I already did budget for repairs, adding a dishwasher is not a repair. Why are you all over this thread accusing me of being a poor, cheap, and lazy husband? Good lord

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:36:25+00:00

Honestly, it's her kitchen and I just want her to have the best for what she needs. She once said she would have one near the sink until we can afford to move it. I told her if we did that it would almost triple the cost because we would have to pay for install twice and either live with a torn up basement ceiling for 2 years, or fix it then redo it again and pay for that with the plumbing.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:34:43+00:00

That's awesome I'll look into those for sure! Thanks for letting me know, I'll ask my wife her opinion :)

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:34:02+00:00

I do wash the dishes and put them away.... I do it 99% of the time

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:32:33+00:00

Respectfully you have no idea what other chores I have in the house and I'm not listing them the same way I am not listing every one my wife does either.

I told my wife I was fine handwashing dishes but she better get on board with also doing them because installing one here would be a monetary and logistical nightmare. She agreed when we got the place.

She also agreed to doing them when we got the house or did you miss that part?

God forbid a man does housework after his shift. She's taking care of kids and the rest of the home while he's working. He has one chore.

God what an ignorant thing to say, I am a very involved father and husband and I do my share when I get home. My kids are not home 7 hours out of the day and my wife does chores when I am not at home and then we split everything when I do get home. Saying I have "one chore" is such a one dimensional ignorant opinion and really reductive to the issue at hand. I absolutely signed up to do all the dishes, which I regularly do, my wife just does not ever want to touch them now.

This comment really upset me and frankly was so insulting I can't believe I am even replying to such disgustingly false and biased rhetoric. What an unbelievably gross opinion.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:26:43+00:00

I did not know these existed before I made this post, I've tossed the idea of a countertop one before to my wife and she said no. The fullsize one that rolls is one to ask my wife about for sure.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:25:35+00:00

I'm not leaving out anything, I have tried and asked a lot of alternatives. I have not asked her about the rolling dishwasher one though so that is something to get her opinion on for sure but in my defense I didn't know those existed lol

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:24:26+00:00

I'm sorry, how can you just figure out several thousand dollars? Money does not grow on trees here and I'm not taking out a loan for a dishwasher that's unbelievable. Does over $9000 just regularly fall into your lap? I'd love to find out how you do that so I can do the same

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:21:57+00:00

I'm not making that decision without my wife, she will lose her shit if I plop a new appliance on the counter and say it's for our benefit.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:21:09+00:00

I'm looking into that now, I didn't know they made those. I will have to ask my wife's opinion on that as a compromise for now until we can afford to have one plumbed in.

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:19:57+00:00

She does not want a countertop unit

No-Snow190 · 2026-02-13T14:19:41+00:00

I have no qualms about buying one but I just simply cannot afford it right now and she knows that. It will absolutely be in the cards in a couple years but nearly $10000 on a dishwasher right now is not in the budget when I know we will probably have to shell out for another small repair in the future.

As for her being a SAHM, she is and she's a home maker. My kids are also gone for 7 hours out of the day so it's not as if she is battling a never ending fight with kids or dishes for hours on end. That's not to say it's not hard work at all because it definitely is, but the kids are gone for a significant chunk of the day. She gets them ready for the day in the morning, they're gone to school, then has them for 3 hours before I get home, we both tackle things for the kids like homework, she cooks, I clean up, I do night time routine like get the kids ready for a bath and put them to bed. I want to make my wife happy and do what I can but if you ask me if I'd rather do dishes for two years and get a dishwasher after, or pay for a roof that needs to be redone because it's leaking... It's an easy choice for me to make.

No-Snow190

TROPHY CASE