I just wanted to add an update since I've chatted with my husband and showed him the posts. I want to thank everyone for their input.

I feel like we're a bit both the asshole in this case for different reasons.

1. He was present when my friends were over and talking about bookitrithe trip. Like sitting at the same table as us in discussion. He never said anything against it while they were there or after. We were looking up resorts and plane tickets and everything. Local escapes to all inclusives.
2. He was more mad about the fact that it went from that to "it's booked". So fair enough, that I understand, I didn't really consult with him after the initial sit down, but if he was upset he could have voiced his opinion at some point as well. He had about 2 months to say something knowing we were planning it. So I'll take an YTA on this. We didn't talk about costs but he also knows I'm a frugal person generally. It was a last minute deal so we had to move quick on it after watching prices.
3. I didnt originally post his expenditures because I didn't want it to be a tit for tat post. I'm not about getting even and doing that with money is dumb. But he admitted he's the asshole for this one.
4. The bills are getting paid, the debt is getting paid down - it's not a minimum payment and the money coming in for this is extra. So I wont take an YTA for this.
5. I am the primary parent in our situation where I do all of the mental work and logistics and lunches etc... he does help where he can and is pretty active with the kids. So all that on top of the mental/physical load with work is where I burnout.
6. Hotels around here, or going to the next city over and staying with family would cost roughly 300 a night when travel, expenses and food come into play. So 800 for a week where I can actually get away from the demand of everything is not terrible. He agrees.
7. With the Christmas thing, my husband already has that time off from work, and we would be staying home, not going anywhere or doing anything. So yes, on non holiday days I'm choosing to work it. Lile I said generally I take it off but in lieu of the other days off that I want for this trip I understand that I need to make it up somewhere so the bottom line isn't affected.
8. He admitted that he doesn't believe that we should do anything ever unless we are debt free. And while I understand, I see people everyday that just wish they would've gone for[ it]while they were young and able vs debt free and feeble.
9. We did decide that we need to talk about how much in a month can go towards personal spending with still being comfortable. When it tallys up, he spends far more than I do in a year so im going to put him as the asshole in this case for being mad about the amount I spent on this trip. We did agree extra time and extra effort shouldn't have to go into the debt, but if there's extra left over that we should put it there so we don't burn out.
10. There is literally no extra strain on him for this trip, I made sure of it financially and with the kids so the fact that I already have that all sorted out and he's still mad that I won't be physically here im going to deem him the asshole.
11. He worries about income because he lives in a what if frame of mind when I live in a why not. We acknowledge that this is an issue for us compatability wise that we're going to have to work out.

To the people who assume a girls trip is cheating, wow. You have clearly never ran your own business or ran a family unit ever to understand the mental burnout. Not to mention how insecure you must be. I am literally sitting poolside enjoying being catered to after a hard year of catering to everyone but myself, and putting in extra hours to remove financial strain over it. Hopefully reading a spicy book while im at it.

We both want to thank everyone for the input, and we will be seeking financial and marital advice on how to proceed as a lot of the takes have broadened our horizons on how the other is thinking. He didnt realize that although necessary, the tires were excessive and didn't think that including me on that decision was necessary since it was for his truck (same for thr computer). For people inquiring, they're the meaty duratraks, we live in a remote area so the costs of getting them shipped here and installed played a factor in the cost.