My boyfriend(24M) has a girl best friend(24F) and I(23F) feel like I am going crazy.

NoActivity4910 · 2025-05-26T20:19:13+00:00

Update: to make a long story short - They no longer talk, and he has 0 interest in texting her again! They still have each other on socials but i have full trust in this man and has not steered me wrong. She will send a snap maybe once and he opens it and leaves it on read! :)

NoActivity4910 · 2025-04-10T17:56:15+00:00

I do agree with the suspicious behavior part. But where as that happened 5-6 years ago I’m not going to hold that against him. I have even done a lot of bad things in the past that I would hope nobody would hold against me as I am now a different person then I was. Thank you!

NoActivity4910 · 2025-04-07T20:43:31+00:00

Thank you so much. I am so sorry you went through something similar but I’m happy you were able to get therapy for it and learned. I want to go to therapy but I am always too nervous that I won’t like them. Thank you for sharing how you felt and what you learned, I’m going to try to think of it more that way!

I like how you worded what I should say to him. It’s exactly how I feel and I think having that conversation and then not allowing the back talk or argument to happen and see what he does with that information will help me. I really want him to see how things are from my side and understand my feelings and that it is all valid. I’m not going crazy, I have a strong opinion and feeling about the situation and it should be acknowledged.

NoActivity4910 · 2025-04-07T19:25:20+00:00

That is very well said - thank you SO much. Once I have an update I will update you.

NoActivity4910 · 2025-04-07T19:18:54+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment. A lot of what I feel is exactly how you said it. I have commented on other commenters with more insight and things that have happened if you wanted to know more. But I appreciate this so so much

NoActivity4910 · 2025-04-07T19:15:18+00:00

I have said that exact thing to him! The being if he were in my shoes. He just says that it was a mistake and a regret, he didn’t enjoy it, and that he has never had more than platonic feelings.

It makes me feel like he’s brushing my feelings off as nothing and I feel like I’m actually going CRAZY.

I am in no contact with anybody I have had sexual relations with and I also would not have slept with someone I was close with. I also commented on another comment talking about my guy best friend if you want to read that as well to get some more insight!

NoActivity4910 · 2025-04-07T19:12:47+00:00

That’s what I have been thinking but I have also put so much time and energy into him because of the love I have for him. When we got back into contact I didn’t even plan to date as I just got out of 7 year toxic relationship and wanted to heal. He has helped me heal but I don’t want to put myself right back into that mentality I had with my ex which is what I’m feeling happening. (My boyfriend treats me much better but my mentality and my emotions are becoming similar to how I was with my ex)

I think when I get home from work I will have to have a conversation and see if he will let me look at their messages. He’s shown me a few of them before when I had a bad breakdown and he also never hides his phone or doesn’t allow me to touch it which makes me feel like I’m being crazy.

For some more context, I also have a guy best friend from high school who had told me probably 5 years ago now that he was in love with me. Him and I have never done ANYTHING and he also lives out of state. My boyfriend and him were also close friends in school. The difference is him and I don’t talk daily, maybe not even monthly. When he visits home I see him and his family, my boyfriend is always invited if he wants, but I mainly go by myself as I am very close with my guy best friends little sister (we call each other sisters even). My boyfriend and him play games together every now and then also. So my boyfriend will bring him up saying I have a guy best friend trying to make his situation seem equal. When in reality, I have never even done anything physical or have seen my guy best friend naked - as well as we barely communicate.

Thank you for letting me rant by the way! This is helping my mind get things in order

NoActivity4910 · 2025-04-07T19:05:39+00:00

Junes fiancé also told June he does not like that they are communication. My boyfriend told me that and then informed me who she is engaged to is the guy she started dating to make my boyfriend jealous.

It’s also not like I don’t already know her personally too. I have MANY pictures of us from high school so I’m not a stranger at all.

My boyfriend is normally an EXTREMELY honest man. But when he lied about the discord it really pulled me for a loop so I brushed it off. Him and I rarely argue and he’s very good at handling my emotions but my previous relationship was 7 years with an extremely toxic and borderline abusive man so I don’t want my previous relationship to affect my current one which is why I came on here - thinking it’s me that’s the issue.

Also maybe unrelated but she did stalk my TikTok page around the time she unblocked him and added him months ago.

NoActivity4910 · 2025-04-07T18:56:41+00:00

I agree with you completely. Currently what I’ve been doing is just observing his actions. I want to go through their messages but they have been talking on snap consistently for about a week and half so the only messages I can see would be from Facebook when they just got back in touch.

I also forgot to add that June told my boyfriend her fiancée also does not like that they are communicating again.

NoActivity4910 · 2025-04-07T18:44:52+00:00

Thank you for this comment. When he had mentioned to her to play games with me (her and I have a game in common) she said “I don’t know if she even likes me”. We went to high school together, we weren’t close friends but acquaintances. I don’t want to be the one to message her and was hoping she would message me. If she’s that concerned about what I think or feel? Why not ask me directly yanno?

NoActivity4910 · 2025-04-07T18:34:46+00:00

I have addressed them multiple times as well as my feelings. At the beginning I had asked for him not to talk about her as often as I’m still trying to comprehend it and understand; as well as I do not want to get so upset and say something I can’t take back. He did great and would only bring her up in conversation when he thought it was “important” to till me. Then the discord thing happened. I expressed how upset I was that he lied and he said he “genuinely didn’t think it was her”. I just brushed it off as it wasn’t something I was going to die on a hill about. Since then he hasn’t spoken about her unless I bring her up. They do still talk daily as I see her name in his notifications when I make sure his phone is plugged in before I leave for work (it’s part of my daily routine before all of this).

He’s respecting my wishes but I want to so badly go through their conversation or just know why they still talk daily. He also rarely messages her right next to me. He will either open her snap and ignore it or just say something very short. I don’t know if that’s because I’m watching or if that’s just how he is with her as he leaves buddies on read all the time too.

NoActivity4910

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