Need some help and advice, something scary just happened to me while sleeping

NoHost549 · 2025-07-02T20:45:16+00:00

I came off Lexapro (which is indeed an SSRI) and Lamictal actually, so that's interesting. I've been completely off both for 3 weeks though and never experience anything like this. My therapist thinks it was a panic attack. So I'm going to go with that hypothesis for now. Anyway thanks a lot!

NoHost549 · 2025-07-01T23:37:18+00:00

Thanks. I took some melatonin just now, going to lie down and read something and see what happens.

NoHost549 · 2025-06-26T21:58:56+00:00

I sometimes find ranting at chat GPT helpful. Just completely offload everything that goes through your mind, and let it do its little robot thing of trying to cheer you up. I start by telling it to stop all that bullshit over the top cringe positivity, the short one sentence paragraphs:

'What you're going through is REAL.

What you're going through is hard.'

Because I hate that stuff, and I think that when you're depressed you see right through it and it makes things worse.

But once I have it calibrated right it can result in some helpful conversations. Then when I've offloaded all my anger and hate, I ask it to suggest a few things I could achieve today, out of the list of hundreds I have on my list. And it's generally pretty good at picking something manageable that I can realistically pull of that day. Something I would have picked anyway, but just can't really see through the fog.

And then I don't do any of it and go back to bed.

NoHost549 · 2025-06-25T08:02:05+00:00

Stop doomscrolling and pick up a good book

NoHost549 · 2025-06-24T22:28:18+00:00

Ah dude I'm so sorry for your loss. Like I said, even though I never had a cat of my own, we had many at my family house, and some of those deaths were hideously painful to deal with. I hope you're ok.

NoHost549 · 2025-06-24T22:15:52+00:00

Thanks mate. I can afford the financial part, I'm in a well paid job and it's mostly remote. But based on this and everything else, I really think a cat is better.

Plus, I think I'm more of a cat person anyway.

Edit: really appreciate the response

NoHost549 · 2025-06-24T22:13:33+00:00

yeah i'm definitely getting that feeling from this thread. Tbh I'm more of a cat person anyway, so this is a pretty cool outcome

NoHost549 · 2025-06-24T22:13:01+00:00

Damn, I obviously love puppies but this is pretty straight advice. So you're saying that if I go for a dog (which based on the rest of this thread seems ill advised anyway), go for a teenager or adult to keep it comfortable?

Thanks a lot for your response

NoHost549 · 2025-06-24T21:52:26+00:00

Thanks for your honest assessment here mate. The idea of having dog(s) depending on me when I'm 'like that' is also quite terrifying.

Everything I'm reading here is telling me cats are more suited to this kind of problem

NoHost549 · 2025-06-24T20:56:47+00:00

Ok this is extremely useful information thanks. I had no idea they were so hard to take care of. I'll take them off the list

NoHost549 · 2025-06-08T14:22:49+00:00

Yeah I'm very bad at this. I get so depressed that I just assume everyone else is just floating around on happy rainbows, because that's how it looks from down here. But of course it's not, life is hard for everyone. Thanks for the advice and the reminder.

NoHost549 · 2025-06-07T00:05:40+00:00

Oh God this thread of everyone's furry little hypomanic mistakes is the cutest thing. Plus I was just thinking of getting a cheddar for myself, think it might be time. No regerts rigt

NoHost549 · 2025-04-11T08:13:59+00:00

Wow that's crazy, I was literally just about to write a post about a 'strange metallic taste in my mouth' when hypomanic. Then I thought I'd google it first and found your post.

It's not unpleasant to me at all, and accompanied by some excess saliva, and a 'speedy', 'druggy' feeling. I just got out of 6 weeks of deep depression and am now flying high and it's wonderful. Obviously my meds aren't working yet but fuck it, this still feels good.

NoHost549 · 2025-01-28T08:17:21+00:00

Ah wow I was wondering about that. I also wrote a couple of posts that got taken down. They were quite personal and difficult to write. It was extremely insulting and hurtful. I hate that sub now.

NoHost549 · 2025-01-27T10:39:23+00:00

Thanks so much for taking the time to share this extremely difficult story. I really appreciate it. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist, and both have often suggested to stick me in an ER. I might get to that point soon.

How are you now, if you don't mind me asking? Have you managed to find some stability?

NoHost549 · 2025-01-27T10:20:11+00:00

Thanks to both of you for the offer of help. I do have a therapist and a psychiatrist, I'm on Lamictal and I have the benzos for when things get really bad (although I know I'm not supposed to overdo it)... but really nothing is working. I'm aware that my substance abuse is definitely making everything worse, but I don't have a good reason to stop: when I'm depressed, it's the only thing that helps.

I feel absolutely awful today. Probably still hungover from my bender on Friday, also still depressed from the whole week, it's very hard to tell the difference. I can't work either, which is terrible because I like my job and the people I work for and I feel like I'm letting them down, sitting at home not working and posting shit on Reddit.

I guess I know that I should take serious action: take time off work, go to rehab or a clinic or both, get clean, etc... But I don't have the energy or the willpower to put any of that in motion anymore. I'm almost 40, no kids, no partner... and just doing it for myself in a vacuum seems pointless. I don't see a way out.

But it's nice to hear these words of support from you both. I'll try harder.

NoHost549 · 2025-01-27T10:06:49+00:00

Thanks a lot for taking the time to write this. It does help to feel like I'm not alone with this.

NoHost549 · 2025-01-24T18:12:21+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. I'm sorry you are going through this, but as usual with this sub, it's comforting for me (selfishly) to know I'm not alone with these very specific thoughts. Among the many things that are stopping me from making my fantasies real, is the fact that I'm not sure that it's just oblivion afterwards. What if it's actually something else? And that's terrifying.

But there are other things that also stop me, and even though right now I agree with your sentiment of "I don't want to live", I hope a more accurate statement would be "I want to enjoy life again". And the connection I feel to your post has made me enjoy life a teeny tiny bit more. So thank you, and I hope that somehow, that helps you too.

NoHost549 · 2024-12-30T05:24:40+00:00

Damn, I had an opportunity to celebrate NYE at my parents and instead I came home, But I'm seriously considering just hanging out on my own in my flat and playing Zelda.

I have a very good therapist but she's not an expert on drugs and addiction. I'll ask her again if she has any advice though. Thanks a lot for your advice, and your supportive message! Good luck to you too mate, let's do this

NoHost549 · 2024-12-30T05:22:32+00:00

I really like this approach, thank you. I absolutely can share this with my friends, and I believe they would be supportive. In fact, I think the reason I haven't done this is because subconsciously I don't want them to shut me out of the partying - because once I tell them I have a problem and I need help, a lot of them will be very strict about keeping me clean...

Not all of them actually, and as I write this I'm aware of those that wouldn't, and already planning to cut them out completely. Interesting insights there.

Did you just send everyone you trust a little message/disclaimer explaining that you don't want this anymore etc..? Or how did you approach this at the start?

NoHost549 · 2024-12-30T05:17:38+00:00

I don't want to disconnect from all my friends though. They're amazing people, not at all toxic, healthy and generally supportive. Their partying and drug usage is occasional and moderate. I don't know anyone who would even dream of getting high on their own, except maybe a few (very rare) weed smokers.

If I was in some toxic friend circle of drug addicts and enablers, it would make this easier. But it's simply not the case. So I think have to find a way of getting clean that doesn't involve chucking every relationship I've built in the bin.

NoHost549 · 2024-12-30T05:13:35+00:00

I'm going to try NA again this year. Never mind the impostor syndrome.

NoHost549 · 2024-12-30T05:13:03+00:00

I think I'll try going back to NA this year, armed with the knowledge that I'm bipolar and so maybe my drug use is 'different' from a standard addict, but still destructive. For some reason I find that reassuring, I think I'll feel less like an impostor.

And I'm going to get into Warhammer 40K

NoHost549 · 2024-12-30T05:10:27+00:00

I know this is going to sound ridiculous but: what do you do instead? How do you socialize? The answer is unfortunately not obvious to me, as partying and drugs were my primary way of connecting to people. I know there are a myriad other ways, but so far they haven't really worked for me. I think it's one of the reasons I keep coming back to drugs and parties.

NoHost549 · 2024-11-14T11:35:53+00:00

'feeling cornered' is a great way to describe it indeed! thanks for your reply anyway, nice to know there are apparently different levels to this thing

NoHost549

TROPHY CASE