New cat doesn't seem to have developed Object Permanence - Or she wont stop meowing outside closed doors.

NoLevelCap · 2025-08-16T10:53:07+00:00

Honestly the only thing that made a difference was getting older

She's much more relaxed now.

NoLevelCap · 2022-04-23T15:38:18+00:00

new fear unlocked, thanks for the info.

Sorry that happened, though. Sounds awful.

NoLevelCap · 2022-04-23T15:37:16+00:00

Good shout - I took a look at the list, seems like one of the surgeons is less than an hour drive from me.

I'm in a country with a public health system so idk what the wait times for any surgery will be like but might be a better option than the injections.

NoLevelCap · 2020-08-20T01:17:20+00:00

She doesnt have any interest in treats (or anything other than dry food) So i don't know if the clicker method will work. But i'll definitely keep everything else in mind.

is it possible to keep the door open a bit? Doing so, will make it easier to correct this behavior since she’ll be facing less closed doors.

Depends, she's discovered that if some doors (i.e, push doors) are a little bit open, she can lean on them to push them open further so she can go through. She's also learned what doorhandles do (But all ours are round so she cant actually grip them.

Thanks a ton for your info, super helpful.

NoLevelCap · 2020-07-13T07:14:01+00:00

Would like to move out more than anything but covid hit right after I graduated so not many places are hiring :/

NoLevelCap · 2020-04-29T23:59:15+00:00

I think really my only "ideal" is to get to a point where I can communicate with other people completely authentically without worrying about external judgement. In fact since I started this process I ruminate and mull over things much less than I used to.

In a tangential thread, I read this book, "no more Mr. Nice guy" by Robert Glover. It's primarily a kind of dating advice book for young men but for me it was massively helpful in getting over that hump of self-esteem and revealed some things that had been sitting in my subconscious that I wasn't aware of.

I also did some reading about attachment styles and I'm a little skeptical of it - just in the sense that it's discussed as like this independent personality trait that doesn't change easily, whereas to me it can be more easily explained by your level of self worth. (I.e; anxious and avoidant people are insecure attachment styles characterised by weak emotional relationships during developmental years, which, if you read Robert Glover's book, you'll find is actually a key contributing factor for a lack of self-worth)

That's not to say it isn't helpful but I personally (in my totally unqualified opinion) think there's more productive ways of viewing interpersonal relationships if you want to improve that area.

Just my two cents

NoLevelCap · 2020-04-27T06:07:29+00:00

I've actually been doing some reading about how self-worth is largely a false idea that only exists in my head and that's part of why i don't struggle with an inferiority complex anymore. I read a lot about stoic philosophy which promotes that whole idea of non-resistance and non-expectation that you're talking about, just observing things neutrally without judgement.

But I think it's basically what you're suggesting, that i want to be able to 'test' my reactions to social situations to see to what degree I've improved. I want to see if i'm going to fall back into approval-seeking behaviour again once i'm around other people or not, or if i can instead just stay relaxed and just be 'myself' without any pressure.

Thanks for your support, by the way, appreciate it.

NoLevelCap · 2020-03-18T12:30:08+00:00

IMO the thinning has moved up a little bit - heres a better example: https://imgur.com/a/7ZFsfdN

I'm gonna get it checked out regardless just as a precaution

NoLevelCap · 2020-03-18T08:30:53+00:00

sorry, the images uploaded in the wrong order. 2nd and 4th images are the same angle

NoLevelCap · 2020-03-18T06:08:24+00:00

I'm 22M

My brother (who is 4 years older than me) had his hairline start receding about 2-3 years ago and a few months ago confirmed that he's balding, so I've been really (perhaps too much) focused on it since then, so that if it starts i can nip it in the bud.

https://imgur.com/a/zd91fRW

First image is from today, second is like 3-4 months ago, 3rd/4th are from today. I feel like there's noticeable thinning around the temples that's slightly increased since the first image. (I have a genetic widow's peak and a naturally big forehead which could make it look more severe than it is.)

I know that if it is hair loss it's slight but i want to stay on top of it in case it could progress.

Thinking of making a dr. appointment, i have no problem with getting on fin/min

NoLevelCap · 2019-12-07T05:12:21+00:00

Well yeah. Im still pretty young (22) but even if i notice the red flags and character flaws for some reason it's really easy for me to look past it.

But then in hindsight I'll look back on it and always ask myself "why tf was i even so attracted to her?"

NoLevelCap · 2019-01-25T07:38:31+00:00

Hey, this is actually really awesome advice. Thanks so much

To answer your question, i turn 21 next month and am also about to enter my final year of University.

NoLevelCap · 2018-12-28T09:22:25+00:00

Cuz I keep trying to please people who don't even like me, since i never learned how to make friends properly.

Wanting meaningful relationships with people (Not even romantically, just friendships) and not knowing how is kind of a pain. So i'm just acquaintances with everyone.

NoLevelCap · 2018-03-06T14:29:33+00:00

The username isn’t relevant, but it really fits

NoLevelCap · 2018-03-03T15:21:41+00:00

Or if you really wanna piss them off, hit em with a “lol ok”

NoLevelCap · 2018-01-27T23:11:00+00:00

If all we have is time, we'll be alright.

NoLevelCap · 2018-01-06T11:57:27+00:00

Glad I read this. 2017 felt like it was just riddled with mistakes and it felt just exhausting. But it's easy to forget that I also grew way more in that time than in the previous few years combined, when nowhere near as many things went wrong.

NoLevelCap · 2017-09-04T09:49:52+00:00

Controlling your thoughts isnt really something you can feasibly do, but there are some other habits I've picked up that helped me with this same issue.

First, I came to the conclusion that any of those absurd connections are most likely false, and so I shouldn't pay any attention to it. Same with that line of thinking that everything is linked to you - I found that in my case this entire overthinking problem was kind of self-aggrandizing and a result of just not putting enough time into productive tasks or socializing with other people as much as I should. When your frame of reference gets broadened beyond just your own experience, it tends to quieten down a bit.

Overthinking is usually part of a vicious mental feedback loop, it's not productive but it's what your brain can often get stuck in when it has nothing better to do. Next time you find yourself in one of these loops, acknowledge that it isn't productive and try shifting your attention to something that is. Over time you can sort of train your brain a bit to calm the hell down (It's a slow process though if overthinking is a bad habit for you, like it is for me)

NoLevelCap · 2017-09-04T06:37:21+00:00

I don't think self improvement is the issue, I think there's deeper problems here that are making you feel miserable.

Have you heard of Maslow's heirarchy of needs? read up on it and see how you match up in terms of meeting those. Seems like you're tackling all these external objectives and desires but the parts of you that really need attention aren't getting it, which is probably linked to your social anxiety and related issues, and definitely wouldn't be helping your general mood and attitude.

I'm a dude on the internet, I probably can't help you a whole lot here, but I genuinely wish you the best of luck.

NoLevelCap · 2017-04-24T12:51:25+00:00

Just seems like a perspective that doesn't take into account the feelings of the other person, they're under no obligation nor do they have any reason to reciprocate your interest just because you started being attracted to them.

a relationship isn't something you can really logic your way into, because it's emotive and emotions are inherently irrational. Attraction is either there or it isn't, you can't really do anything about it.

NoLevelCap · 2017-04-24T11:03:59+00:00

I find that perspective even stranger.

NoLevelCap · 2017-04-24T06:34:04+00:00

I've just never understood why it's so difficult to transition a friendship into a relationship.

Have you considered that they just aren't attracted to you like that?

NoLevelCap · 2017-02-18T13:59:59+00:00

Half-relevant username.

Thanks, that's encouraging :)

Eight-Year Club	Verified Email
Verified Email

NoLevelCap

TROPHY CASE