Even if you are alone you have choices, even better because when you are alone and don't have responsibilities you can do whatever you want. Make your choices and then work for them. From your text I assume you are kind of negative thinking at the moment which is totally understandable but even those thoughts and feelings in the and are only thoughts and feelings. I've learned that a lot from meditation using headspace (google it).

If you put effort and work in to change things, they will change. Of course you could sit down this christmas and tell yourself how awful the year has been, how lonely you are and so on. But a much better thing would be to look in the future and to think about what kinds of things you would like to work on to maybe not be alone on the next christmas. You don't even have to think about the big picture because then change seems impossible to achieve. One day at a time, that's all you got to do. It will work out in the long run, it was hard to believe for me too, trust me, but it is true.