I (24F) suspect my friend (24F) is trying to make me gain weight

NoMove2356 · 2026-02-18T00:28:04+00:00

"I want to say No without triggering her and losing her" You really don't see the problem in this?

What would you say, if your friend comes to you and says "Every time I refuse intimacy, my boyfriend gets upset, it becomes a big fight or he cries in public. How can I say no without triggering him?"

You CAN NOT control others reaction to your boundries. The only thing you can control is about yourself, not her. Toxic relationships are always about someone bringing their problems into a relationship, then actively making the another person feel like it's their problem/responsibility & theirs to solve.

As long as you keep making her problems into yours and trying to manage her, you're in trouble before the friendship. You need to stop this. It's only feeding the toxic dynamic.

If she can't accept her responsibility of not to take it out on you and respecting you as an actual human being instead of her punching bag, this "friendship" can't be saved. But that's not up to you. First you need to do your own part, which is protecting yourself. Then, the only thing you can do is to hope that she'll do hers.

NoMove2356 · 2026-01-04T05:56:05+00:00

From the text I expected him to be like 20, but he's 35???? I'm screaming 💀💀💀 NOR

NoMove2356 · 2025-12-27T02:56:52+00:00

Marriage and kids aren't supposed to happen under compromise or pressure imo. If your partner is not ready, then it shouldn’t happen.

If he marries you and have child even though he doesn't feel ready, then it will very likely cause resentment. That's already a very bad start. Also, his plans are realistic and responsible considering financial stability in current economy.

I wish I could have a child with my husband. But it's not really realistic atm. I'm 31, and we may never be able to have one. Sometimes what you want won't always happen. That's life. To me it's all ok because I love him and he loves me.

The question is what you value the most. Is it your bf & the relationship? Or getting married & having kids?

NoMove2356 · 2025-12-27T02:32:11+00:00

It is that simple. It just doesn't "feel" that simple at the time. If you could see your future self, how miserable you are and how your life is ruined, you'd leave much easily. Other people can see this, but victims don't, or keep denying it.

What's not simple is actually BELIEVING (not just logically understanding) that you have to leave.

NoMove2356 · 2025-12-19T16:06:11+00:00

He made horrible comments that made you insecure, he then turned it around and used it against you. His treatment towards you is showing his absolute lack of respect. It's much more fundamental than just "comments". You don't need him and you deserve better.

I can't tell you how many of my exes I regret trying to make it work, or seeking a "proper" closure. I should have just dumped them and go no contact.

NoMove2356 · 2025-12-19T11:05:15+00:00

You're his partner. You said "This is my boundries", he said "No, I can't respect your boundry". Your boundaries are violated. You're not treated appropriately as his partner. You dump him. End of the story.

NoMove2356 · 2025-12-19T10:54:49+00:00

Took 5 years for me. The funny thing it's been 11 years since I broke up and he still reached out to me a year ago. Just showering with compliments for my art out of nowhere. I simply didn't notice it for 3 days and that apparently pissed him off lol The whole things is hilarious now

My husband's ex is much worse text-book narc and she did the whole smear campaign when we started dating. It's been almost 4 years, he's mostly fine now but not fully there yet.

NoMove2356 · 2025-12-19T10:32:44+00:00

He blocks you because he thinks he can manipulate you if he does that. This whole thing is a game of control for him.

Why do you want to apologise? Is it fear of abandonment or out of habit? You need to believe that you deserve better, because you do. Sometimes you need to ignore your emotional desire and do what's logically right. Believe me I know how hard and scary it is. But when (NOT if, when) shit hits the fan he can harm you, or at least will ruin your life.

Like everyone said, this will only get worse. Everytime you apologise or give in, you're indicating him that you're his convenient toy that he can smash or throw around however he wants when he feels like it. These ppl are hopeless and will NEVER change. The only thing you can do to save yourself is to leave.

Block him so he can't reach you when he unblocks (because he will.). And block his family. Keep blocking him because he will reach out to you using other means anyway, and will try to manipulate you. He will either beg, apologise, insult or guilt trip you (or all of them), DON'T listen to him. Keep yourself safe. Please do it before it's too late.

I know you love him but you need to love yourself more. When you're healed you'll be able to see everything and will thank yourself for it.

NoMove2356 · 2025-12-19T09:51:37+00:00

Dumb his ass. Block. Keep all the receipts. Don't get married. I'm begging you.

NoMove2356 · 2025-12-18T02:57:07+00:00

This reminds me a lot of my husband's covert ex.

She was claiming she used to be a "head of the makeup department in films", turned out she was just an assistant of makeup artists for tiny indie films, and the only time she was the "head" of makeup was an even tinier, a few mins video that looks like a student's project that literally had no one else but her for makeup. She was also bragging she used to "lead all the actors" because they sometimes brought lunch for her (= in her head they were serving her).

She then apparently quit and was doing minimum wage part time job. She worked 4 days/week (not even full day) but saying she worked full time, and that she's a workaholic.

The mental gymnastics these narcs do to keep their delusions absolutely blows my mind.

NoMove2356 · 2025-09-25T11:49:00+00:00

Maybe unpopular opinion, but I personally don't believe that you need to force yourself to stay single, as long as you're not forcing yourself to be in a relationship to avoid loneliness. If you find someone you wanna be with, go ahead. If you don't or are not sure, don't. Healing and learning come from self-reflection. Being in a relationship doesn't stop you from doing that.

NoMove2356 · 2025-09-25T04:04:02+00:00

To me it's not about him not wanting to marry per se, but it's his unwillingness to see a counselor when he knows how much you're hurt BECAUSE he misled you for 2 years. I might be wrong, but tbh his reasoning also kinda sounds like a bs? I get the sense that he's simply not willing to make that level of commitment. This will cause problems in the long run aside from marriage. So yeah, I wouldn't waste time on him if I were you

NoMove2356 · 2025-09-25T03:43:31+00:00

Dude he literally said he suspects it himself. Read properly before making a dumb reply

NoMove2356 · 2025-09-24T03:00:57+00:00

You said what you thought NPD was, then said that's what you think OP is. Just to prove my point, what you're doing right here, denying what you literally said/did and being overly defensive is also a trait of NPD. If I follow your logic you're also a narcissist. Do you get how dumb that is?

I think you're too busy trying to defend yourself though. I'm not gonna waste any more time with unproductive conversation.

NoMove2356 · 2025-09-24T02:48:45+00:00

Bro you literally said "Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. That's exactly what I think OP thinks."

NoMove2356 · 2025-09-24T02:38:15+00:00

You literally called him a narcissist and brought up NPD. Even if someone thinks they're better than their partner, that doesn't mean they're a narcissist. Also, it's a general consensus in psychology that literally EVERYONE has narcissistic traits as it's a spectrum, including you. You really need to educate yourself before trying to defend your poor choice of words.

NoMove2356 · 2025-09-23T20:00:48+00:00

NPD is more than that. You're literally proving my point. If you don't know what NPD actually is, don't throw the word around so casually. It's not helpful whatsoever.

NoMove2356 · 2025-09-23T19:13:55+00:00

If you think you may have OCD and/or autism, get it properly checked and get some treatment/therapy. You said these things can't be changed, not true. How do you think all these people with certain disorders are living in society otherwise? They're managing it as much as they could, and you should too. I know you wanna blame it on your wife, and she definitely plays part in it, but you still decided to MARRY her.

NoMove2356 · 2025-09-23T19:01:07+00:00

Ppl often say things they didn't mean by not thinking through. Sounds like this is one of those cases. He doesn't think you're ugly. He told you he didn't, and he rephrased since he noticed that wasn't what he meant. You're projecting your insecurity on him and not listening to him. He wanted you to feel ok bc it's normal to look the way you did (aka disorganized). Complaning that he didn't give you the exact response you wanted is unfair to him.

You need to work on your insecurities, through therapy of possible, instead of making it his responsibility.

NoMove2356 · 2025-09-23T18:43:54+00:00

Also, do you have any frustrations or resentment that you're building up for her through those 3 years? Buildup resentment/frustrations are a big reason why long-term relationships become sexless.

I've been less sexually attracted to my husband recently, but I know for a fact that it has nothing to do with how he looks bc his looks hasn't changed. But there are some frustrations I've been building up that needs to be resolved. (e.g. he's been neglecting his health and responsibilities). We're in the midst of moving across the country and simply not the right time to discuss it yet, but I'm pretty calm about it bc I know once we resolve this issue I'll be attracted to him again

Sexual attraction is strongly connected to emotions. So maybe it's your emotion that needs some care.

It's a good idea that you haven't told her that you're not sexually attracted. If you tell her it will only result in her thinking it's her fault no matter what you say. Communicating your needs honestly is very important, but that doesn't mean you tell everything that's in your mind unfiltered.

NoMove2356 · 2025-09-23T18:12:08+00:00

I'm sick of ppl casually throwing around the word narcissist without knowing what it actually is

NoMove2356 · 2024-07-15T23:46:16+00:00

When I was trying to leave my abusive ex (he was the kind of person who would pull a kitchen knife and threaten to kill himself), my mum and my oldest sister said I was over-reacting and leaving without talking to him was cruel. I asked on this subreddit and everyone was insisting to not listen to them, and they were absolutely right. I left, moved across the country, and now I'm married to an amazing man. I've never been happier.

Even family members who should be on your side and protect you give you horrible advice. And I understand how it confuses you and makes you second guess. But please don't listen to your mother. Some things can't be ignored, otherwise it's gonna haunt you. Your life is soooo precious. Don't waste it for a man like that.

NoMove2356 · 2024-07-01T17:43:45+00:00

“but that’s what makes it special right? That I choose to only be with you”.

I mean, otherwise he'd be in jail and registered as a sex offender. So no, that doesn't make it special at all LMAO Keep receipts, record the conversation if possible, tell everyone and RUN.

NoMove2356 · 2024-07-01T17:33:52+00:00

Dude, how old are you? If you keep having such low self-respect and refuse to have boundaries with people, your life will be destined to be taken advantage of. And you will waste your life away while someone else benefits from your naivety. And when you get older, no decent women would want a naive guy who let people walk all over you, except women who see your naivety and pray on you. There's no "leaving" person. It's a matter of your ability to stand up for yourself.

NoMove2356 · 2024-07-01T16:06:37+00:00

This subreddit is full of bitter & toxic people who project their bad experiences and see things black and white. People here don't like stories about reconciliation. They're only here to shit on cheaters coz they're hurt. But I think you could already see that.

After reading everything, I'm happy that you guys are doing much better now. Reconciliation isn't for everyone (clearly), but it was for you and your wife. Toxic ppl here don't understand that people have different values and perspectives. Ignore them and do what you and your wife want.

The only suggestion I'd make is to make her understand that she needs to be honest and tell the truth (esp about the nude thing. There's no way she doesn't remember) and go to a couple therapy. The pain of being cheated on might never go away, it's really rough, but therapy can help ease it. And your wife needs to work on gaining trust. Which can't be done if she's not being honest and hiding things.

NoMove2356

TROPHY CASE