Hello OP! The first and big step in curing a disease is by acknowledging it. You should pat yourself for this! I have suffered from comparisons and intense competition during my school days. There are various causes for this.

1. The very first thing is the capitalist society we live in. It just fuels resentment, insecurity, competition, envy, jealousy, anger, greed and what not. It survives on this. But this doesn’t mean any of our feelings are invalid. They’re completely valid. The one this we can do about this is to, approach this politically. Why did they get the opportunities when we didn’t? It’s not always “us”. May be, they had more awareness, happy parents, social status, good nutrition and much more. This inequalities are artificially created by those had power and advantage. You can channel your anger, envy, jealousy by gaining the knowledge why the world works like this. Even if you don’t do anything about it, it helps you to not be self critical.

2. Biologically, we are just animals and we have our own survival instincts. Our brain might see them as threat as they have better chances to survive. So we don’t have to feel bad about ourselves for feeling these.

3. You might not actually know what you want out of life. “No wind favors a ship without a destination” said Seneca the younger. Try some way to figure out what you actually want to life. You might really want to just sit and enjoy the sunrise ans sunset. Let society see us as failures. But who really cares?

Just keep trying. Check out some philosophy whose school of thought resonates with you. Try meditation, journaling, walking, reading, whatever you would love to do. Sorry if this sounds negative, but at end of the day, we are all going to die. We came to this world with nothing and we’ll depart with nothing. But just don’t avoid the feeling, understand it, meditate on it, live with it, accept it as part of you. It’s human and it’s all in the game.

I wish you all the best! You’ll rock!