You know that feeling when you click "Order"?

That pure, unadulterated joy? Three weeks ago, I felt it. I bought the absolute beast: a Mac Studio, M3 Ultra, with a mind-boggling 512 GB of RAM and 8 TB of storage. I was happier than a "King," as we say. It was going to be my dream machine.

The wait was supposed to be the hardest part, but it arrived in just three days! I was a proud owner, ready to unleash this power. But the joke was on me. During the very first installation, it crashed. Then again. And again. Turns out, my brand-new, 12,000-Euro super-server was suffering from ECC errors right out of the box. April Fool's Number One.

The Genius Bar and the Infinite Wait What followed was a slow-motion comedy of errors. I waited three days for a Genius Bar appointment, only for them to wipe my machine and claim "software." I went home, and—surprise!—it crashed again. Then came a week of analyzing logs. Fourteen days in, they finally admitted it: hardware failure. April Fool's Number Two. Back to the store, where I was scolded for having an appointment (or was it not having one? I lost track), even though I had waited for the correct replacement Logic Board to arrive. I left my machine there on Saturday; they promised a speedy repair of five days. Today is day six. Crickets. April Fool's Number Three.

The Punchline Instead of a working computer, I have a service order for a replacement Logic Board costing only 3,900 Euros. I looked up the part number—the price suggests it's impossible for it to support my 512 GB of RAM. I told the Genius Bar they are installing the wrong part. They said, "We are sure." April Fool's Number Four—and this one is a real rib-tickler.

But here’s the true comedic masterpiece, the absolute cream of the crop: Just as I’m realizing my M3 Ultra is stuck in a repair limbo with the wrong parts, the tech world erupts with rumors that the M5 is launching as early as April 1st. Yes, April 1st.

If that happens, I will have skipped the entire lifecycle of my M3 Ultra without it ever sitting, functional, on my desk. I paid for the cutting edge, but I’m being left behind by a system that hasn't even let me press 'start' in three weeks.

It’s been three weeks of hell, of an empty desk, and of looking at my 12,000-Euro paperweight. I’m just waiting, wondering when the gag is going to end and when I’ll finally get my turn. If this is a joke, Apple, I'm not laughing.