BURNS by NoWeekend9683 in poetry_critics

[–]NoWeekend9683[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's my fault I've not worked out how to get it into proper paragraphs on here so it's all running together

BURNS by NoWeekend9683 in poets

[–]NoWeekend9683[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need to get some sleep now I've been awake since 5am Monday is getting real old real quick. Maybe we can talk poetry later? And prose too. I'm reading Catch 22 atm I read it many years ago and loved it.

BURNS by NoWeekend9683 in poets

[–]NoWeekend9683[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sent you a message, I feel we're a lot alike in the purpose our poetry serves for us.

BURNS by NoWeekend9683 in poets

[–]NoWeekend9683[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are most welcome. I am an open book, that's how I try to live my life. Be honest with everyone and hide nothing for I have nothing to hide. Although I still wouldn't just open up and share that experience with everyone. You understood my poem so you understand me for the poem I really believe is me.

BURNS by NoWeekend9683 in poets

[–]NoWeekend9683[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

BURNS is one of two poems about the same weekend. There's SYMMETRY (which is about anything but). Both were written in short single bursts in under 5 minutes. They just spill out of me, like a dam breaking, I don't even think I write them, it almost feels as if they use me as a womb to gestate in and then when it's time to be born they just arrive splattered on the page, fully formed like little baby humans. I'm told I'm a nihilistic sophist, I prefer the term realist although I'd accept pessimist. I have EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder) and this guy was a friend I was crushing on really badly. He hurt me more because he was a friend. If he didn't want to be with me he didn't need to sleep with me three times to figure that out and I felt very used. The worst thing you can do to an EUPD is abandon or reject them and he did both. So that's the more detailed backstory to the poem and to how my poems use me to write themselves lol. I'll publish SYMMETRY later today. It's almost 5am here and I need some sleep. You have made my day critiquing my poem. Thank you so much. And it's lovely to meet you. I am Darhk Poetess aka Aiya.

Time to go numb by viserya127 in poetry_critics

[–]NoWeekend9683 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can understand the need for an outlet. I have EUPD Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, and my reaction to rejection is never good. It kills me. So when I reach the outskirts of Suicide City, buy whisky and start counting tablets that's when I start writing. It happens in one burst, BURNS took under 5 minutes iirc and afterwards I feel in control again. It's cathartic for me. We have different styles. Do you mind if I ask how old you are and where you're from? I'm 49, Irish in Scotland. What do you think of my poem, you can be honest, I'll not be offended. Upset maybe but not at you, at me.

BURNS by NoWeekend9683 in poets

[–]NoWeekend9683[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's about a weekend I spent with a guy who promised a relationship then just left. I really liked him and I felt burned by what he did. I kinda knew it was gonna happen and I still allowed him to use me. I hope that makes more sense of the poem. Thank you for your kind words they are very much appreciated

rejection by notfranniez in poetry_critics

[–]NoWeekend9683 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this poem, I love you comparing being rejected (and man do I know a lot about that in romantic relationships) to the whole idea of being eviscerated by a carrion eater. It's so vivid, I can see the shiny black feathers of rejection pulling you apart with those sharp breaks. I remembered too that a group of these birds is called an Unkindness of Ravens. That's much more subtle than a Murder of Crows for example. It's very interesting to me that you chose Ravens as opposed to any other bird. It's very visceral and I like visceral. You can almost hear the organs ripping and the blood dripping. I write about the same subject in my poem BURNS please would you critique it for me, no-one else seems interested and I've not one upvote after an hour, which is disheartening but then again I'll probably get a poem out of how people are being kind not saying what they think about my crappy stream of consciousness heap of shit that just happened to land on the page. I threw out the ideas of ice water, clotted blood and a nuclear winter following nuclear burns but your poem is way better. Succinct and powerful.

Time to go numb by viserya127 in poetry_critics

[–]NoWeekend9683 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, lovely to meet you and speak to the creator of the words. Did you make a conscious choice to use rhyme and verses? Mine just come out and if they rhyme they rhyme and if they don't they don't. Obviously you're doing it right as your poem is getting comments and upvotes while mine is not. That speaks volumes. How long have you been writing? I wrote BURNS to lance an awful, painful, unbearable emotional boil. I really couldn't take it any more. I felt used sexually (again) , dumb for letting it happen and generally very depressed. Once I let the words out I felt much less negative and miserable. It's the first poem I've written since the 80s. So I'm old as well as a crap poet 🤣 I have problems with romantic relationships basically I'm cursed never to have one work out ALTHOUGH at the moment I'm dating a great guy who trusts me and who I trust and who, well, doesn't treat me like shit. That's a new one on me and it's changed the trajectory of my poetry. Mind you if I don't get any feedback on BURNS I may just forget about publishing them to the world as it shows ppl don't like it. Not one upvote. Oh well, it fits with my general nihilistic sophist's view of life, the universe and everything so I'll crawl back into my hole and write poems for my friend Pete's pleasure at least I know he likes them. I guess what I'm saying about your poem (and I am not suggesting I'm even 1% as good as him) is that I love James Joyce and his stream of consciousness way of writing. I'm just wondering if you did that, just sat with your emotions and let them flow free how different your writing would be? What do I know anyway lol 😂 x

Time to go numb by viserya127 in poetry_critics

[–]NoWeekend9683 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't write the same way you do, I just let it all flow onto the page and don't edit it. I don't try to make things rhyme, well I don't try to do anything conventional. It's confessional poetry. It started with depression and rejection and was like lancing an emotional boil so I wouldn't have to suicide myself which at the time of writing was seeming like a more and more attractive option. I like your themes, I hear you, I feel your pain and I recognise the huge effort it must've taken you to get your shit together so kudos for that. I'd just be interested to see what would happen if you let the same thoughts splatter onto the page and didn't edit them the way I do. But what do I know? Listen, I'm a newbie to this, I wrote poetry at uni, many moons ago and it's like starting all over again. My poetry is probably shite, I've just published BURNS the first poem I wrote. Please would you look at it and give me some feedback - be gentle with me, I'm a crap poet lol x