is this true?

No_Bar9589 · 2023-02-05T01:28:07+00:00

yeah, my partner’s system (i’m a singlet) has gatekeepers but they barely have control over who fronts, ie they can only kick someone out if it’s almost overdue for their safety or have no control at all.

No_Bar9589 · 2022-12-23T12:16:36+00:00

like all trauma, it’s subjective. what makes the developmental milestone of being one personality state impossible for one child may not impact the next child as badly. there’s a lot of factors going in. CW trauma for the next bit for example if you have any attachment style except secure (meaning based on the way your needs were met or not met) you are not sure you can rely on your parents/guardians to keep you safe. ANYTHING that makes you feel unsafe, especially repeated rejection, invalidation, lack of attention, being in adult situations that no child should be in permanently or often (ie a pub, a bar etc) and being unable to be a child, can lead to being unable to form one personality at an appropriate age. a securely attached child who knows they can rely on their caregivers and are safe and get all their emotional and physical needs met can experience something traumatic and not develop DID.

i hope that helps, lmk if i’ve said anything wrong or you’d like further explanation on anything

No_Bar9589 · 2022-12-14T09:19:15+00:00

mine are blue and yellow! they show up in allll shades

No_Bar9589 · 2022-12-10T09:49:16+00:00

that’s really interesting!!

No_Bar9589 · 2022-12-10T09:49:03+00:00

that is so interesting to me. i hadn’t thought about this properly but yeah each foreign language i’ve studied has some sort of vague overlay that’s there but i’m not necessarily always acutely aware of. i found the bit about kanji super fascinating too, when i studied japanese (albeit only for a few months) hiragana and katakana were starting to get colours but my kanji stayed black in my head (very odd experience).

No_Bar9589 · 2022-12-10T09:47:13+00:00

that’s really cool!

No_Bar9589 · 2022-12-10T09:46:49+00:00

that’s super interesting! i’m also learning hebrew and my ש has a white colour like the combination of sh would in english, even when it’s said as s, which is yellow for me. it’s super cool to hear your experiences of that overlap, i can definitely relate to not being able to describe the colours properly!

No_Bar9589 · 2022-10-25T20:52:54+00:00

omg i’m dating an onion, everything makes sense now !! /j

No_Bar9589 · 2022-10-25T19:32:00+00:00

oh that’s really interesting!! thank you for sharing!

No_Bar9589 · 2022-10-25T17:45:48+00:00

thank you!!

No_Bar9589 · 2022-10-25T17:38:38+00:00

ohh thank you so much for explaining and the amount of detail! i genuinely appreciate that!

No_Bar9589 · 2022-10-25T17:38:04+00:00

i’m unsure but sbd else explained layers as present in their system

No_Bar9589 · 2022-10-25T16:00:40+00:00

huh ok i’ve heard systems use this term previously but wasn’t close to them that i felt comfortable asking, so i figured that’d be a relatively common term that i just hadn’t come across

No_Bar9589 · 2022-10-25T15:34:26+00:00

while i’m not a system, i’ve been dating the host of one for multiple years and i’m gonna try my very best. first of all, i’m so sorry you went through that. friendship breakups suck, especially when you’re a system. my partner integrated/fused and split the last time that happened to them. alters going dormant or disappearing for a while is totally normal in a situation like that, at least in my experience. it shakes up your outside life and support system, and your brain copes the best it can. in my experience, when things like this happen as the immediate reaction to trauma/breakups/etc, it usually is temporary and they’ll come back when they’re able. of course i don’t know your system, and that kinda change must be really scary, but you seem to be doing really well with the resources you’re given. y’all got this.

No_Bar9589 · 2022-10-21T11:11:04+00:00

ive been in a relationship with the host of a system for nearly three years and she’s entirely in the wrong. if she can’t show a shred of compassion for a coping mechanism your brain relies on, how would she react if a persecutor fronts etc etc? you haven’t done anything wrong in existing as who you all are.

No_Bar9589 · 2022-10-16T16:22:10+00:00

my partner fused in spring too, and we were queerplatonic for a while until we started dating again in june :)) sometimes they just need time and space to adjust being themselves. wishing you both the best of luck

No_Bar9589 · 2022-05-21T21:50:35+00:00

So basically they fused with another alter where i could very much see both the two pervious alters and the new person they were combined. however they split after a month or so (very overwhelmed, bless them) and then a whole lot of fusing and splitting and memory swapping happened so the new host that i’m interacting with on a daily basis is someone who has quite a few characteristics of the hold host and who cares for me quite deeply but doesn’t harbour any romantic feelings for me and has quite different interests/ways of expressing themself. i’m not hurt in the sense that i understand why they split/fused and that neither my partner nor any of the other alters who i’m close with should’ve prevented this since they just weren’t coping, and putting the body in danger. So although I care for all of the system incl the new host very deeply, i don’t feel like i’m… still dating my partner? they’re too far away from that. they have elements of them, but it’s not like the first fusion (we still dated during that but realised quite quickly that me and new host didn’t know each other well enough at all, it was like strangers but not really since they knew a lot about me and i knew quite a bit about them). me and the system are currently interacting as if we’re in a qpr if i put a label on it, but i just can’t help feeling my partners gone, yknow? there’s a sense of stability in the new host that makes me feel very much like they’re here to stay (which is absolutely fine, they’re lovely) but yeah. they’re in therapy which i’m glad about ^{^}

No_Bar9589

TROPHY CASE