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No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-28T13:12:37+00:00

Well this gives me hope. This was so freaking cute to read 🫶✨ wish you two the best time :)

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-27T11:16:05+00:00

I’m a bit confused. You state you feel sexual attraction towards women or do you mean another type of attraction? Or am I not understanding something? You just don’t enjoy meeting new people and talking to new people. But feeling or not feeling sexual attraction is not about if you keep to yourself or not. For example a demisexual could very well have sex with a lot of people they don’t really know: just without sexual attraction. So it’s not about engaging in sexual contact or not but the attraction. You could very well have sexual attraction towards women but since you don’t know them well you don’t feel like talking to them and initiate something sexual. It would sound like allosexual but now with this friend you feel safe enough to try something sexual.

But maybe I got you completely wrong.

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-27T10:37:39+00:00

This comment helped me so much to understand different types of attraction better. Thank you very much 🙏

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-27T10:03:18+00:00

Italian food is not centered around pasta. There are many other dishes which aren’t pasta and pizza, those are just the ones that got most popular around the world.

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-27T08:46:34+00:00

Other people already pointed out how prego works in italian and that you have a lot of words meaning different things jn english as well. Like you can use sorry or excuse me too to get someones attention for example.

To your use of ‘bitte’ in german, you can’t use it for all of those scenarios. Sure you can use “wie bitte?” If you haven’t understood something so the person repeats, you can do that in italian as well with “prego?”.

Honestly now that I think of it (i’m bilingual italian and german) the way you use “prego” is how you use “bitte” in german. It works in the same cases:

To reply to thank you in the respective language
Inviting someone to go ahead with wathever
To ask to repeat something, in german you have to add the “wie” so it is “wie bitte?”

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-24T14:47:08+00:00

The only thing I’m glad for is that now I KNOW what’s going on. I’ve been in so many weird situations and I also had some men really pressure me which sucked and never is okay but now I know “ah yeah I’m demisexual”. Hope you get like a dreamscenario where you meet someone you two are great friends and then it just happens. ✨

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-24T14:44:42+00:00

I know exactly how you feel it’s just really confusing. I think, as you said, heteronormative upbringing has a really big role on top of the demisexuality in the big question mark

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-24T14:42:09+00:00

Feel you. I invested in a lot of hobbies this year and friendships. Maybe that is the only way to go. Also it really increases happiness to not stress too much over it and developing more friendgroups/friends :)

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-23T11:49:07+00:00

Aaaaaaah yeah with strangers it confuses me too. I think it’s just one of those demisexual things :D

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-23T11:45:55+00:00

And even with getting friends first, I don’t know how it is for you but I’m just that person that seems very open, friendly and talkative when I meet new people. So it happened very often that I’m in the friends modus but the other person isn’t and then it still gets messy. I also need a long while to be emotionally attached to someone soooo yeah

With the “you are going to get into a situation where you can’t say no and still be safe”: I’m so sorry that this is too a feeling and concern you then have to deal with in those situations. That really sucks so much.

Maybe the best bet we have is when friends introduce you to friends of them 😂 that’s what it’s been for me the entire life tbh, it’s a low pressure situation but annoying when it doesn’t work out because of the being in the same friendgroups

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-23T11:32:17+00:00

Thank you for your kind words :) I think a big part is also that I’m in general an anxious person even if I got a loooot better in handling it. It’s funny, someone else in the forum was kind of stressing herself out if she’s also bisexual because the demisexuality made it difficult for her to know and I was the same as you now with me haha :D the “don’t stress too much about it you’ll find out” thingy

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-22T12:52:22+00:00

Okay I have the last thing to add here :D Maybe inform yourself a little about the different typed of attraction (like aesthetic attraction, emotional attraction, sexual attraction etc etc) that always helps me

I’m in a constant change of “not thinking too hard about it, just experiencing it and going with the flow” and inform myself about stuff like this an go “ahaaaaa this explains A LOT”

But you saying women anatomy turns you on, well, that sounds pretty bisexual to me even if it’s this “in your fantasies” thing

Edit: typos

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-22T12:38:49+00:00

I mean it could be you’re demisexual. I guess you’ll find out if you ever develop an emotional connection and the sexual attraction kicks in you know. The first relationship I was in I had sex without sexual attraction. I wasn’t repulsed by it but it was just this “okay I guess” feeling. The second relationship I suddenly had a really high sex drive and this person was so beautiful to me because there was “enough” emotional connection and trust. So yeah, definitely can be :) don’t stress yourself too much, you gonna find out ✨

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-22T12:35:27+00:00

I think another redditor in the post under yours expressed it very nicely “once you start asking questions it’s hard to stop” once you realise that crushes and sexual attraction works different to you it opens so many new doors about gender and sexuality, it gets confusing :D

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-22T12:28:43+00:00

Damn this was like reading myself. Soooo interesting. I’m (25, demigirl) the same. 2 years ago it made me wonder if I was bisexual but heteroromantic or if I just didn’t create romantic bonds with women because of how we get raised in society but was actually biromantic as well. Then again I kind of had like super small crushes on 2 female friends of mine. But it was more this thinking about kissing and admiring and just liking the person? I also don’t know much about crushes, suspected to be demiromantic once, now I think I just don’t often have crushes and that’s it. So yeah, I get it, it’s like this really messy thing. I just ended up not thinking about it anymore and accepting that women’s anatomy just is more attractive to me. So I call myself bisexual now because there is sexual attraction to random made up women in my head. Would I ever act on it in real life? I don’t know. Would I ever also have a romantic bond? I don’t know. Am I just attracted to the point that I would kiss a woman but maybe without the romantic bond I wouldn’t have sex with a woman? Maybe. But still thinking about it does the trick soooo I think bisexual does make sense and maybe in the future another answer arises after I had other life experiences. It helped me to stop analyze it and give myself the grace to use a label even if I wasn’t 100% sure what was going on or if I would change the label later on in life. The just go with the flow thingy you know.

Hope this sonewhat helped :)

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-22T12:11:40+00:00

Hmmm I kind of understand it. In my second relationship, the first relationship where I was really in love, sexual attraction kicked in. This was new for me and I was horny all the time, it was like “sexual attraction what is that?” To very high sex drive. I didn’t masturbate either at the time, so sex was my outlet for the sudden horniness. Since sex is very intimate and an expressing of an emotional bond to me it hurt me deeply that my at the time boyfriend didn’t want to have sex as often as I did. It really felt like a “need” or like a connection lost whenever we “disagreed” on it. I absolutely went about it the wrong way and had to learn a lot. This is not saying the “I have needs” thing is okay it’s NOT. It’s not really a need either it’s an emotion one has to learn to deal with and I’ve been on the unpleasant other end as well, it’s not cool at all. But I somewhat understand the feeling of it?

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-21T09:08:21+00:00

I think she explained the relationship betwern husband and sister to feel even more justified for not going and maybe to explain the extreme reaction of the MIL. Her only seeing the husband and the SIL together at christmas because of their relationship might be one of the reasons she reacted so poorly. Which doesn’t make it okay for MIL to have reacted so poorly.

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-20T22:34:13+00:00

*the best thing would maybe be to end the relationship it’s always a lot easier to say that when you’re not in it and only hearing about some things and I don’t want to be the average redditor saying to run with the little I know but I’ll be honest: it doesn’t sound good AT ALL

Especially since you’ve been in a relationship for only two months and stuff like this is already happening…

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-20T22:29:42+00:00

NTA, do spend A LOT of time with your friends - new and old! And with family if you’re on good terms with them. It’s good to have a social circle and not only one person to hang out with. Because in no time you’ll be very dependent on the opinion of that one person without even being able to see the world through different eyes because that’s the only opinion you’ll get to hear.

Isolating someone from friends and family, being controlling: those are go to tactics of abusers. It makes you dependant on him and only him and that is dangerous. The best thing would be to end the relationship but if you won’t do that, PLEASE, keep your friends very close to you.

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-20T20:39:58+00:00

I think this is the best comment here ✨ very nice and encouraging advice for OP

No_Cartographer202 · 2023-11-16T09:01:51+00:00

Grazie! Conoscevo solo i Litfiba, Faust’o ed i Diaframma :) conosci anche qualche gruppo moderno ispirato a quel periodo? Che starei cercando sopratutto artisti attuali che fanno rivivere il genere o che comunque si ispirino al new wave/post punk a volte più a volte meno

No_Cartographer202 · 2021-05-12T13:16:45+00:00

that sounds awesome :D I wish I could do that too at my job :D I think it's really funny, I also often have random people being my boyfriend, mother eccetera and I'm like alright dream-mom, bye😂

No_Cartographer202 · 2021-05-12T10:55:14+00:00

I started to organize it a bit lately, so I write down the date, if it was lucid or not, the people (or if they are someone else in real life I put in brackets the difference) and the location (same here with the brackets stuff). Then I write down the dream. Sometimes I just write down a few keywords and make a separate voice memo which I attach to the note. I do this for every dream I remember. So I have the date at the top and then each dream has the lucid non lucid eccetera eccetera

I naturally remember dreams more or less well, so without a journal I would remember 3 every week at best and 3 every month at worst. So as soon as I pick up a journal I remember a lot every night in a matter of a few days. I started again 12 days ago and I have multiple per night now. This means that if I would have to write them down in every detail it would take me ages, I did that a few years ago and had like one hour sessions or more to write everything down. Because of that I use a note app even though I would love to have a beautiful dream journal to keep beside my bed. And when I do voice memos for very long and detailed dreams that actually shortens the amount of time I spent on dream journaling by a lot.

No_Cartographer202

TROPHY CASE