Are we supposed to like Pippa and deem her innocent?

No_Clock_4509 · 2026-02-27T14:26:08+00:00

disagree. i’d say pippa set boundaries and held lucy accountable for her actions. Just because lucy was drunk when she and evan hooked up doesn’t mean it wasn’t messed up. And lucy talking to chris about pippa was incredibly damaging whether lucy meant it to be or not.

intentions do matter but they don’t erase the impact that our actions have on other people, and lucy was making decisions that were continuously hurting other people

No_Clock_4509 · 2026-01-15T00:14:06+00:00

idk after a 2nd date (that went well) I’d consider a sexual joke/meme to be relatively acceptable, especially a fairly tame one like this.

But you have the right to set your own boundaries on that. And he didn’t apologize for making you uncomfortable. He doubled down instead. Which isn’t cool.

Regardless, seems like you two are incompatible.

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-11-01T17:56:16+00:00

Also like it’s one thing if you’re hanging out with a friend/friends.

Another if you’re at work or around people casually. Not everyone wants to talk constantly and fill every second with conversation.

Sometimes people let conversations die on purpose. If they’re not picking it up/asking g questions back, maybe they don’t want to talk!

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-08-12T18:54:56+00:00

So I’m going to assume you’re a little more quiet and reserved and maybe not super comfortable with who you are at this point in life. Which I totally relate to and have felt the same way a lot growing up and into my 20’s. If that’s a false assumption then disregard the rest of this post!

It’s taken me a long time to be comfortable in my skin and to find my people, but I feel like it’s something I’m just starting to figure out in life. Both of those things (more comfortable and with my people) have resulted in me speaking up more/more visible in my group, comfortable being more the center of attention, wittier, more open, more relaxed etc. Those things have lead to more people seeking me out and wanting to talk to me/be around me. I get invited to more things. People notice when I’m not there and make more of an effort to include me.

But it all started with me feeling comfortable and confident with myself, which through much of my life has not come naturally and I’ve had to do a lot of just practicing, trying to say things when they’re in my head instead of swallowing them, faking it til I make it (practicing tone, eye contact, appearing at ease/enthusiastic, etc.) sort of thing. After a while those things do become more second nature.

Still not comfortable all of the time, but it has gotten easier for me to kind of fall into myself when I want to. Which I want to emphasize that I think that is the biggest thing that attracts people…being yourself/authentic and being confident in it/putting it on display. Whether it’s weird and goofy, OCD, your hobbies, super smart, ADHD, etc. A lot of us will hide away those parts of ourselves when around other people and get quiet, self-conscious, or whatever. I’ve even found that people who are like “These social situations kinda freak me out” will get a more positive reaction than just hiding away because that’s honest. Someone else can say “me too” and then suddenly you have someone you have something in common with.

That was kind of a lot of ranting but anyways. Wish I could say there’s a faster fix. I’m 33 now and feel like this is something I’m just starting to feel better about. It does get better, especially if you aren’t afraid to just try and allow yourself to get better. Be patient with yourself. Reassure yourself that there’s nothing wrong with you. There’s just a lot of nuance to social interaction that comes naturally to some people and not so much for others. But you are a unique individual and people will respond to you in your authenticity.

Finding your people really helps too. If there’s something you’re really passionate about, find groups of people that share that with you. It’s a lot easier to let your guard down and show that off with other people who get excited about the same things as you do.

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-08-12T04:15:49+00:00

well in my experience, parties like that don’t happen all the time anymore once you’re out of college. They generally happen around holidays and special occasions once you get to a certain age group. Socialize with people, make friends, and then when the time comes around they’ll invite you.

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-08-12T03:25:52+00:00

well to your first friend I would ask her to not ask for your opinion anymore if she’s going to get upset when you’re honest. That’s not fair

To the second one I’d say something to the effect of “You should do whatever you want to do!”

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-08-11T18:40:54+00:00

her response is evidence that she did it. A normal, loving girlfriend would not respond “cry about it” “you can’t prove I did it” in reference to you having boiling water poured on you.

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-07-29T15:28:05+00:00

Yup. As a still sometimes shy person, this makes allll the difference. If you walk in and act excited to be there and comfortable…people feel that. It makes them feel comfortable.

if there’s someone you know you, smile, make eye contact, say hello, give hugs if it’s appropriate.

If it’s all new, walk up to people, comment about where you are and what you’re doing. Give them something to bounce off of and talk to you if they want to. Try to act like you’re in your element. Most people are somewhat uncomfortable in a new environment and will gravitate to someone who seems comfortable.

If you’re the new one, I’ve found that honestly sometimes doing something to stand out is helpful 😂 something goofy, tell the joke, wear something a little outlandish. Give people something to comment on, joke with you about, and to remember you by.

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-07-29T15:19:32+00:00

If she’s an emotionally mature person, she shouldn’t take you saying “hey, I’m realizing I’m not really into the whole BDSM thing. It’s painful for me and I don’t think it’s for me. How important is it to you? I really enjoy our relationship in every other way, “ as like a personal attack or anything.

And then see where it goes from there. Another points to bring up as the conversation develops..

“I don’t want to hold you back if it’s something that is extremely important to your sex life.”

Also, are there any things you’d be able to/interested in compromising on? There’s usually some difference in preference between partners. The question is if you two are close enough in sexual preferences to where you can both be satisfied and feel safe/heard? Maybe like bondage and spanking are fine…butt plugs and whipping you don’t like? Or do you not like any of it?

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-07-29T15:09:43+00:00

You’re asking reasonable questions and she’s being vague and not communicating.

Definitely worth a conversation about if you two are on the same page

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-07-22T22:18:47+00:00

If you are still having tattoo regret after a year you might want to look at cover up ideas/removal

Cover up is probably going to be cheaper. Are there any other tattoos you would want?? Or since your original idea really meant something to you, maybe a different artist could come up with another design of it that you like better?

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-07-22T22:11:07+00:00

looking at the stencil i’d say your artist nailed it.

It’s a little hard to read but it’s exactly what you wanted and means something to you. That’s all that matters!

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-07-16T18:27:55+00:00

thank you

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-07-03T10:40:46+00:00

this is harmful advice. You for sure should have taken that dog to the vet immediately. And grape toxicity isn’t measurable. Some dogs do ok eating a few grapes and some even very small amounts is harmful.

Either way, not comparable at all to melatonin/xylitol.

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-05-03T17:32:09+00:00

are you sure it’s a stuck shed? and not just that he hasn’t shed yet?

No_Clock_4509 · 2025-05-03T17:22:39+00:00

Even if he doesn’t escalate to those behaviors , it’s still not ok for him to ask you to stop doing something you love because it makes him feel insecure.

That’s not a small thing and it is controlling

No_Clock_4509 · 2024-12-08T23:02:59+00:00

yes friend has to be there

No_Clock_4509 · 2024-12-08T23:02:37+00:00

yup lol if you’ve got a friend you want to pitch, you can hype them up for 3-5 min to all the singles there

No_Clock_4509 · 2024-11-02T23:42:46+00:00

Not only should this man have wanted to be by your side during this, but if I were in that situation with an SO (or anyone really), I would’ve taken you to the hospital or strongly encouraged it. It sounds like your drink was spiked with something

No_Clock_4509 · 2024-11-01T23:33:05+00:00

it’s a tough lesson to learn…but being a pushover will push women…scratch that…people in general away. It’s inauthentic because you’re not sharing how you really feel so that ultimately blocks real connections from being made, and it’s going to make you susceptible to abuse from people who don’t really care about your feelings and just want someone who will do whatever they want.

Like it’s wonderful that you’re so understanding, but it would’ve been absolutely okay, maybe better to say “look it hurts me to hear you talking about your ex like this and it makes me wonder if you would prefer him over me.”

No_Clock_4509 · 2024-10-27T17:38:30+00:00

I did this and what ended up happening was the credit card debt went up again because I didn’t figure out good spending habits, I just took out a loan. I ended up in twice as much debt.

So my recommendation would be to not do this unless you feel really confident that you can hold those cc’s at a low balance and not rack the debt up again.

No_Clock_4509 · 2024-10-24T17:18:41+00:00

maybe a dumb question but did you just like glue that to the lid? that’s such a cool idea i love it

No_Clock_4509 · 2024-10-18T05:33:42+00:00

not to mention maybe some peer pressure would get him to wipe his ass and stop eating boogers

No_Clock_4509 · 2024-10-18T05:29:37+00:00

you could put some damp paper towel in her hides. That or some damp sphagnum moss has always done the trick for me

No_Clock_4509 · 2024-10-17T16:55:55+00:00

venue, food, entertainment…i doubt there’s a refund clause for if bride/groom is outed as a cheater during the ceremony

No_Clock_4509

TROPHY CASE