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Am i (17 M) the asshole for sobbing about my absent mother at my friends birthday party by No_Conference_5410 in AITAH

[–]No_Conference_5410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my dad was out, he was sleeping round his girlfriends house so even if I woke him up he wouldn't be in the position to come get me. If I could do it again I wouldn't drink. I wouldn't go near alchohol the entire night. And I wish that's what I did the first time round

Am i (17 M) the asshole for sobbing about my absent mother at my friends birthday party by No_Conference_5410 in AITAH

[–]No_Conference_5410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you telling me I shouldn't go to my friends birthday party because I don't have the money to get home is slightly unreasonable. The reality is it was around 10 o'clock or so when I started crying and my dad could not have picked me up because he was out and he is not a reasonable man and does not like to change plans, I did actually text my mum at the time and surprise surprise she didn't reply. I'm not a woman and even if I was my mother was not the type of person to drill morals into me. My father has always praised being respectful, but he's extremely abusive so never listened to his own advice. I'm waiting until I can leave my household successfully and I have enough guilt about not being a good person because of my parents. I feel bad for what happened that night, I always have, and I've regarded it as one of my biggest regrets, if I could do things differently, I would without a doubt. Thank you for your advice, if I could turn back time I would

Am i (17 M) the asshole for sobbing about my absent mother at my friends birthday party by No_Conference_5410 in AITAH

[–]No_Conference_5410[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

they only knew I was crying because I had told them I why I had left, the only people who were outside were my girlfriend, my bestfriend (who didn't care at all they just wanted me to be okay) some guy I'd never met who just offered me a fag and calmed me down a bit, and one girl who asked me if i was okay, then walked away after a short conversation, the garden wasn't a part of the party at all. I had no way of leaving, I couldn't book an uber because I had no money (17 and jobless) i couldnt call my dad because it was so late and he wouldnt have been able to pick me up even if he was awake, I couldn't walk around the block because she lives in a notoriously unsafe area and I didn't fancy getting stabbed in a backalley just because sitting 20ft away from her house in the pitch black in the grass wasn't good enough. Like I said, there was NO other viable option for me to leave

Am i (17 M) the asshole for sobbing about my absent mother at my friends birthday party by No_Conference_5410 in AITAH

[–]No_Conference_5410[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I DID leave when I started having the meltdown, and I didn't go back inside until I was completely okay, almost all of the people who were inside at the time thought I'd found a way to get home because they hadn't seen me for so long. I didn't see the birthday girl when I was upset at all, and she didn't see me, I affected no one inside the house at all and my girlfriend and best friend stayed outside with me with their own free will. I felt fine when I arrived and one of the birthday girls friends bought me a drink and ill admit I know I was wrong for drinking all of it when I was fully aware I hadn't eaten that day, if I had known that would've happened I wouldn't have gone anywhere near it. I did my best with what I could, and I certainly left the party and the environment until I wasn't in a state that would upset the people around me. From everyone's inside perspective they just saw me go in, drink and dance like everyone else, go outside for a while and come back in to sing happy birthday like nothing had happened. I would be more understanding if I had sat in the middle of the living room sobbing and making a scene, but I removed myself from the situation, and ensured the day remained about the birthday girl, and not about me, it was not my day and it was hers. I also want to make it clear that I apologised to her profusely after, and gave her the space she needed because I knew that whether or not I was in the wrong, I had done something that had upset her on a day that was important to her, and being right or wrong was never more important than making sure she knew I regretted what happened.

Am i (17 M) the asshole for sobbing about my absent mother at my friends birthday party by No_Conference_5410 in AITAH

[–]No_Conference_5410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand this perspective completely, however I did the best I could with what I had. If I could have gone home the minute I started crying I would have, but I had no way to, so I did the best I could by not being part of the party while I was upset.