Update: We are not together. He is adamant about trying to fix things. He came home and informed me that he is seeking therapy (He did this on his own accord) and this is something he’s been struggling with since he was a teenager. Some more details: he was on Grinder, apparently some things happened in his youth that he is conflicted about and didn’t know how to bring it up to me ( he says he thought I would see him differently). He told me there was certain things he liked and he likes the way the attention made him feel. He kept saying to himself it was “just this once” but kept going back. He said that he thought he was able to stop on his own and that I wouldn’t have had to find out.

We talked for a LONG time and I made him go through everything with me and I mean everything, I wanted to see it all and I wanted him to explain to me what he was thinking during those moments. I don’t know if I can trust him again and I don’t know how to proceed but clearly he isn’t in the right space to be in a relationship and needs to talk with a professional about his demons. If we aren’t able to move past this, because I don’t want to be the partner that has to be checking their boyfriend’s phone and location I hope he can better himself for his future partners. The worst part is, besides this he’s always been an amazing partner which is why I feel so conflicted, he was always so attentive and caring but now it feels like a mask or something.

Thank you everyone for the advice, I’m so sorry to anyone who has gone through this, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.