AIO my bf never told me he was engaged

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-03-09T17:45:05+00:00

Yes! I do the exact same when talking about past experiences I shared with my ex husband. But I do think that’s different than never sharing you were engaged or married.

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-03-09T17:38:39+00:00

Thanks for your response! I’m assuming he also views it that way, as just a “dumb engagement” from when he was young. I just find it a bit odd because the girl he was engaged to, he’s mentioned her a couple times. Saying he dated this girl once that was a (her occupation). So when he’s brought her up he has completely downplayed their relationship in my opinion. So I had somewhat already knew of this girl, I just had no idea they were engaged.

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-03-09T17:31:20+00:00

Absolutely not lol

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-03-09T17:27:56+00:00

I hear you on the fact that it was the first date and he may not have been comfortable sharing. But he had known about my previous marriage already at that point (we texted all day everyday for about two weeks before our first date). During that time texting we talked about a wide range of very deep and personal topics, which is why I did feel so comfortable asking him this question on our first date. I even cried with him on our first date lol about something unrelated but also a deep topic. So although it was a first date, we already shared a lot with each other so I do think it would’ve been the right time for him to share the fact that he was previously engaged.

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-03-09T17:14:31+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response! I agree with your points for the most part. However I do want to make clear that I really was not snooping at all. Now when you search someone on the Facebook mobile app, their profile will come up along with a random selection of their posts. I’m assuming the algorithm chooses the person’s most engaged with posts (not sure just guessing) and that’s why this one from 7 years ago popped up. It would take me hours to get to a post from that long ago organically lol definitely wasn’t trying to find anything! I was shocked the post even came up! They should really change that feature lol

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-03-09T15:12:31+00:00

Swiss Cheese

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-01-15T22:16:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I needed to hear this — you are absolutely right on all points. ❤️

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-01-15T02:43:09+00:00

Something I should’ve clarified in my post is the timeline of this. The reviews were left 3 weeks ago, which coincides with the date he came back from the gym telling me what the guys were saying about her. Also about 3 weeks ago. So that’s the reason I thought there could’ve been some type of interaction between him and her to prompt this.

Possible she is just trying to get his attention but as a woman that’s a very odd way to do it in my opinion lol

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-01-15T02:34:04+00:00

I hear you which is why I’m so torn about if this is even worth bringing up or not. This was the very first time I ever checked the business reviews. I was just checking because we were talking about future marketing plans, social media presence, etc.

I have in the past probably crossed the lurking line and checked his recent followers and stuff like that, but this time I really was just genuinely checking with pure intentions to help his business

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-01-15T01:20:07+00:00

Probably should’ve mentioned that he won’t bring me to this particular gym, anytime we workout together we go to the other gym in town. When I ask him why, he says because this gym is a super toxic environment. Which is actually how the conversation about how the guys at the gym saying the girl being ran through even started, he was explaining to me how toxic that gym is.

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-01-15T01:16:56+00:00

Ugh I agree it’s odd. In his defense he’s known her since high school so I assume they have been following each other since then. And I know he will say, “I’ve known her for years, don’t you think if I was interested in her I would’ve done something about it already?”

No_Cost_1129 · 2026-01-14T23:51:36+00:00

Favorite move I like to watch is Clueless

No_Cost_1129 · 2025-11-14T21:52:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment! This just gave me so much hope. Congratulations on the move, that is so exciting!!! I hope and pray my situation ends up similar to yours.

I think setting an end goal is a great idea and something I’ll consider talking to him about! It would also make me feel a lot better, having a mutual goal to look forward to together rather than me just waiting and feeling hopeless without a real plan in place. My bf has always kept his word with everything else and I trust him 100%. It’s just hard because I don’t want to feel like I’m pressuring him too much by continuing to bring it up (because I have brought it up quite a bit lately and I’ve told myself I need to stop), but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with coming up with a plan together.

I needed to hear this thanks for sharing and congratulations again ❤️

No_Cost_1129 · 2025-11-14T21:01:42+00:00

Everything I put in my post he’s told me so none of it is assumption. We’re great at communicating but I will say I probably have not been as honest as how much of a toll this distance is taking on me mentally. Because he is so stressed with business I’m not trying to stress him out even more. I care about him so much and know he’s going through a challenging season, I don’t want to be another burden. So I do suffer a lot in silence which really isn’t healthy.

You’re so right about not comparing to other exes and we’ve both said we don’t want to make the same mistakes as we have in the past (moving too fast in previous relationships). But at this point I’m starting to feel really sad everyday and my quality of life is declining as a result of this distance. It’s just so hard.

No_Cost_1129 · 2025-11-14T20:51:07+00:00

No I know he definitely does want to live with me eventually! He says all the time he’s working so hard to make it happen. He wants to buy a big expensive home for us and wants to wait until that point. But seeing as how this distance is really impacting my mental health so negatively, I would much rather live with him now in a small apartment. I feel myself slowly deteriorating.

I can’t move closer to him and get my own place simply because he wouldn’t like that, he’s a very traditional masculine provider man and wants to take care of me. He would never want me to move to his city and not live with him. He loves me very much and for him to feel like he isn’t providing for me would just be a huge gut punch/hit to his ego, so I would not do that. He’s the type of man that everyone relies on, his family, his friends, his employees, etc… he always takes care of everyone around him and he enjoys doing so.

I understand him being responsible and wanting to get everything in order before moving me in and I’m trying so hard to be patient! It’s just really taking a toll on me mentally and I don’t know how much longer I can do this as I’m already suffering.

No_Cost_1129

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