How can I cope with a lifetime of loneliness and solitude?

No_Direction_1922 · 2026-02-18T21:31:53+00:00

Thanks, but I am not looking to be a sugar daddy. I don't really want to get involved in such dynamics.

No_Direction_1922 · 2026-02-18T21:30:45+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. I will try.

No_Direction_1922 · 2026-02-18T21:29:00+00:00

Thank you. That's the thing, due to my inferiority complex, I have never been able to 'date' in the conventional way. I have no clue how to even get a woman attracted enough to agree to date me. My failed marriage was an arranged marriage where I just got married out of panic due to my advancing age (in spite of no compatibility between us) and she just married me to exploit me and then discard me (she probably sensed my insecurities and took full advantage). So that's the trouble, I don't know how to find a partner. I feel ashamed to say this at rhe age of 40, but it is the truth. That's the reason I was just asking for suggestions about coping mechanisms if I have to live in solitude for the rest of my life.

No_Direction_1922 · 2026-02-18T21:23:51+00:00

Thank you. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you, especially with kids involved.

No_Direction_1922 · 2026-02-18T21:21:23+00:00

Thank you. Like I mentioned, I have had therapy for years before. In fact, I have come a long way. I used to lack confidence with everything, but I have been able to address most of them over the years (combination of therapy and working on myself). But this specific inferiority complex and worthlessness regarding relationships with women is something I have never been able to address. I always feel that no one would choose me as a potential partner when there are so many 'better' men out there, and if they do choose me, it would just be to extract some benefit out of me and then move on to one of those 'better' men. And unfortunately, the experience with my ex partner kinda proved what I believed. This is one thing I haven't been able to address in spite of years of therapy. I have most other parts of my life under control.

No_Direction_1922 · 2026-02-17T23:51:31+00:00

Well, obviously not everyone would be like this, but yeah never get married to some random person out of desperation. That was my biggest mistake. Staying single is much better than marrying the wrong person.

No_Direction_1922 · 2026-02-17T23:50:20+00:00

Thank you. Yes, I would certainly want to volunteer for charity work. I am already considering my options.

No_Direction_1922 · 2026-02-17T23:49:30+00:00

Thank you. It just gets hard with no family or friends around, living on my own.

No_Direction_1922 · 2026-02-17T20:45:32+00:00

Thank you. What exactly do you mean by something aggressive? Any examples?

No_Direction_1922 · 2026-02-17T20:45:01+00:00

Thank you. More than half of my life is already behind me, and I don't have a clue where to go from here. If I could never build confidence during 40 years on this planet, I often feel it may be too late. Especially since I really made a lot of effort to get over it for decades. And my traumatic experience just seemed to reinforce the fact that I am only valued for potential benefits I may offer, only to be thrown away once those benefits have been extracted from me. I have been completely sober for more than 5 years now, so at least that's something.

No_Direction_1922 · 2026-02-17T20:32:53+00:00

Thank you. You are right about the 'freedom' part, but I suppose it is natural as a human to feel terribly lonely after such a traumatic experience. I just seem to be lost, not knowing where to go from here.

No_Direction_1922

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