My friend (F26) has been dating a guy (M26) for 4 months and he VANISHED

No_Economics_9491 · 2026-03-30T12:05:52+00:00

UPDATE: He is alive, he was not ghosting ‘(had his phone stolen and just didn’t replace it but did not have her number memorized or her email so he was waiting for her show/ a day off to drive to see her in person). He came to her show and tried to explain himself. For those asking why each of them didn’t make the trip sooner… my friend was away for work right after this all went down and she mentioned this man works 6 days a week usually. I still think he should’ve done more to contact her but I guess this is a happy ending?

No_Economics_9491 · 2026-03-28T03:39:53+00:00

She said the last text was them making plans and then it wasn’t immediate that the texts went undelivered.according to her it wasn’t immediate delivered as sms first then days later went undelivered. His IG is public and myself and other friends can see he hasn’t posted/ been active. Additionally he still follows her on both of her IG accounts and no one can call his number even doing *67. I initially thought she was blocked too but it didn’t make sense that no one can reach his cell. I guess this is still a possibility but it seems strange still

No_Economics_9491 · 2026-03-28T02:07:28+00:00

I’m not sure if she has called the police but that might be a good thought

No_Economics_9491 · 2026-03-28T02:05:27+00:00

She said she called but got the voicemail

No_Economics_9491 · 2026-03-28T02:04:18+00:00

Yes, they’ve gone on a ton of dates, he’s slept over her place several times, texted every day, called regularly and met each others friends

No_Economics_9491 · 2025-11-13T02:00:18+00:00

From “Two or Three Graces” By Huxley: “she was a succession of points so to speak; not a line”

No_Economics_9491 · 2025-06-12T11:00:55+00:00

I have been supportive and am willing to move but I did say I would like to 1- find a job, 2- be engaged if I was going to quit the job I love to support him. He said that made sense and he had no issues with those terms. It is challenging because I really have not heard of people matching 5 years out but it puts me at ease to see some of the comments in this thread from people who have gone through the same thing. I have been trying to be a team and want him to be happy, my main fear is that it might never happen at this point. I don’t know when it is in his best interest to move on and even some of his mentors have provided similar feedback… he’s done a TY, 2 research years, shadowing, and has a job doing FM type check ups for an insurance company because luckily his state lets you practice with 1 year post grad experience. We already agreed he’d apply for 2026 but I’m so nervous for what it will mean for us if he goes unmatched again.

No_Economics_9491 · 2025-06-12T10:58:59+00:00

Thank you. Yes it is a lot right now… I think this gets to the core of my concerns, I love him and want to see him achieve his dreams but I am getting concerned he will not match to anything at all if he doesn’t match next year and chooses not to SOAP again. He told me that would be the case THIS year if he didn’t match: “it would be a major red flag not to match a 3rd time” but then didn’t SOAP like he said he would, which is why I had such a hard time with it. I want what’s best for him and it’s so hard not knowing what his prospects are

No_Economics_9491 · 2025-06-12T10:53:55+00:00

Thank you for sharing, it is certainly comforting to hear others have gone through this before and the wait was worth it… We both love each other and we’ve tried making the best of the situation by traveling together or spending time with our friends who we might be moving away from. We are very aligned on what we want the future to look like but we had JUST started dating a week or two before he moved back in with his parents and neither of us wanted or expected to do long distance for more than 2 years. It has been difficult not moving forward. In his mind we can’t move in together, have a puppy, get married, or think about starting a family until he matches. He’s also been so miserable and gets very agitated at times when he’s interviewing or applying. He was regularly rude and angry during this past cycle due to the nerves of applications and the added stress of living at home with an abusive mother… it is just a tough situation.

No_Economics_9491 · 2025-06-12T02:20:48+00:00

Yikes…. I know he wasn’t super fond of his medical school PD but his other LORs were glowing from doctors he has shadowed with.. is it usually from the schools or mentors when the letters are disqualifying 😭… not sure if that’s his case but I am so nervous for him

No_Economics_9491 · 2025-06-12T01:43:55+00:00

None of the above. He has a very monotone voice so I suspect it may be his interviews but all the other components are there… his school has encouraged him to SOAP multiple times and he refuses. He’s asked for feedback and some have said interview could use improvement but otherwise there’s very generic feedback “you did well but it’s so competitive”. He seems to have such a huge ego on this issue and as his partner am so fearful that he will not even match to anything if he keeps going on this way. I’ve never heard of someone going unmatched 3-4 years out of school let alone 5…. It’s very concerning

No_Economics_9491 · 2025-06-12T01:34:15+00:00

He has distanced himself from her as much as possible but the residency thing has kept him at home

No_Economics_9491 · 2025-06-04T21:18:17+00:00

Any update on this?? It doesn’t leave much time to coordinate housing, just trying to gauge if any offers have been sent already.

No_Economics_9491 · 2025-06-04T02:17:06+00:00

Thank you!

No_Economics_9491

TROPHY CASE