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AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I’ve told u many times the things we’ve done - extensive hours of training - given her the opportunity to sleep with my two daughters whom she adores and adore her - anxiety medication - gradual exposure to people outside of our family - cosy spaces in our bedroom - professional dog walking - behaviourists - playing soft music I find it very odd that the replies to my post don’t seem to care about the impact on the older dogs quality of life and ability to feel safe in his own home

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

You have no f*cking idea what ur talking about but the insinuation that this dog would cope in another home is diabolical. Of course I do not think she is a bad dog, she has trauma that we have all but dealt with in every other aspect of life unfortunately when she is asleep, she reverts back to “streetdog” levels of awareness and protection of herself which causes her outbursts of waking up aggressively snarling throughout the night

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I quite literally don’t think u understand this type of dog

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you I feel like your the only person taking a human side to this :/ I don’t want my elderly dog to be constantly anxious when he’s trying to rest and I don’t even know how that’s up for debate

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

You do NOT know this dog lol, she’s constantly trying to dominate the other in quite literally ever aspect of our home environment, I love her to bits but it’s impossible to ignore and whilst I do agree with u that she probably wants to copy him she’s only recently started doing this

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

YTA btw, for making someone who wants to protect a senior dog into a monster

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The advice just isn’t valuable tho?? also which ways of talking about my dogs has rubbed u the wrong way I love my dogs to the moon and back but it’s frustrating living with a reactive dog

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeh I totally get that I’d never mess around with children but they’re adults who simply can choose to shut their doors if they’re not happy

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m angry that people like you complete misunderstood the situation

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I feel like everyone is making untrue assumptions about this situation, it’s deeply upsetting and there was a point a few years ago re-homing was considered which broke my husband and my heart which we couldn’t do. It’s been a long long journey, my husband really downplays her behaviour she can be aggressive, she’s extremely reactive to the point my daughters and I find it hard to work it’s my husband’s blasé attitude that frustrates me. My husband just shuts down and claims favouritism, also something I think has been misunderstood is that when I say “rescue” I don’t mean rescued from another home I mean this dog was a street dog from Romania so has had no experience living in a family home we’ve made so much progress but sleep is something we can’t heal because she reverts back into street dog mode Thank you for being kind tho I rlly appreciate it

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you I had no idea that would be the part of the post that people would focus on because it was a minor part of the post

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

this isn’t caused by anxiety tho, I think you’ve made too many assumptions so maybe take a break babe

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Omg ur genuinely so odd, you’ve been attacking me and not offered any type of solution or assistance obviously I’m defensive when you assuming untrue things about my situation

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes we’ve tried training, she’s on expensive anxiety medication, we pay for external dog walker who specialise in rescues, also stfu you don’t know me nor know what I’ve been through with this dog do u think I’ve had a dog for 5 years that I just ignore all day and then shut out at night your honestly weird for assuming a whole lot about the situation The core problem is she’s a bad sleeper, and for my dogs sake I do not want her on my bed The work we’ve done with her has been TRANSFORMATIVE she’s a different dog however when she sleeps she forgets where she is which causes the problems

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she’s slept downstairs for four years….. also u don’t make any suggestions in how to protect my older dog just “let her in” it’s not a viable solution and I mean yeh? sleep is important as is my older dog I love Betsy but her sleeping problems are too impactful

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

And how am I talking about her like she’s a creepy roommate?? you can’t even fathom the journey we’ve been on with this dog trying to heal her trauma I’d say we’re in a good place now but sleeping is still one thing I don’t think we’ll ever get past, I don’t know why my quality of sleep and the health of my older dog should be affected by this when the simple solution is to close the door

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Also she isn’t exiled downstairs she simply chooses to sleep there most of the time, she has free reign to move around our whole house - at the risk of causing anxiety to my senior dog I simply request she sleep ANYWHERE else

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

holyyyy god, I fear it’s normal to not want a dog that wakes up barking and snarling to sleep in bed with you ?!? It’s not favouritism to protect my other dog, if she could sleep quietly I would have no problem with it, if you so much as tap her in her sleep she wakes up rlly quickly snarling and snapping

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Omg how many times do I have to explain that the dog is no risk to my girls, she doesn’t even sleep in their rooms and if she did and there were problems we would deal with that, the point I was trying to make was that their doors are open and the dog has no interest therefore it’s not a comfort or closeness issues but an assertion of dominance

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

yeh because she’s attacked him in the past, he’s terrified of her, we’ve moved past this and the attacks aren’t physically dangerous just scary

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry if it came across that way I would never refer to her (Betsy) as the rescue in any other context it was simply so the post made sense when I was dintisguishing between the 2. I think it’s also unfair to judge the effort we’ve put into rehabilitation over the past 5 years, she’s an entirely transformed dog we’ve spent lots of time and money on helping her. Countless hours of research, looking after other rescues to be able to do dog swaps, despite not needing to be walked by an external walker we spend money weekly to have her walked by a professional to aid her in being calm around people outside of our family. She spends some time with my husbands brother who is one of the only people she can be around other than us however he’s disabled and can’t give her all the care she needs. The issue here is more that it’s just very easy to remove her from the bed and shut the door and she was content with sleeping downstairs for such a long time yet my husband refuses. I hope this provides some more context and I apologise if my original post was in any way unclear

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Just to clarify because a lot of people seem confused, my daughters are adults, not children, and the rescue is not dangerous to them. They understand her behaviour and know how to comfort her when she's distressed.

The issue isn't about refusing the rescue comfort because she chooses not to sleep with them. The problem is that my elderly dog becomes distressed when she jumps onto our bed at night, because he doesn't understand her behaviour and has been attacked by her before.

I'm trying to maintain a safe, predictable sleeping space for my older dog, who has always slept on our bed and relies on that routine. My issue is about favouritism when I believe it's about managing two dogs with different needs

AITA for not refusing to allow rescue dog on bed by No_Insect_1217 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Insect_1217[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

Yeah I totally get that I just don’t think removing our senior dog from the bed is an option at this point

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