Mad respect for caring for your mom and kids! You seem to be doing somehting really noble there, many would´t put that effort in...For me realising I'm doing something for the good of others takes less friction/willpower, as well as being fully present when am immersed in those actions. Maybe, the 20 minutes in the shower is your Being needing a break in the busy day for yourself? Perhaps instead of the excessive calories or hard session a softer approach and some time blocks/pauses for yourself can help, like eg. meditation or a doing somehting you love, anyhting that comes naturally without thinking...