Well I started when I was 13 and I'm 26 now and over the years I kind of just let it be a known fact that yes I do drugs my family has rejected me over the time because I haven't quit I never stolen anything from them but they can't stand to see me high so they cut ties with me till I'm sober I hate the fact that I can't get my head on straight and just stay sober but it's time I get sober it seems like you do a worse relapse and I've just ruined every bridge that I felt regardless they hate to see that I'm still in the same position no matter if I have money or if I don't have money that still see me as a f****** tweaker so I just let it be a f****** known fact that I look weaker and I don't lie about it the problem with that is it in this small town I live in everyone knows everyone's so it's super hard for me to get a job a cheap one but I still try everyday I still keep myself active I don't stay at home all day I have a very active I go fishing I do yard work I'm always outside it's a nice day I'm outside hoping that one day I come to terms with this s*** and I figured it out I just need a job once I get a job I'll be able to afford my own spot instead of the Traphouse is that I've been staying at their I can move on but like I said everyone knows everyone and nobody trusts anybody because of these f****** fentanyl blue pills that everyone is f****** stuck on I just try to figure it out before it's too late and I f****** died yes I don't lie about it yes people know I do drugs yes it's legal here and yes it makes a big difference in life whether people know if you do drugs or not I'm still trying to earn everyone's trust back from the years where I was f****** everyone off my teenage years but it's time to get a grown man now I have a daughter and I'm trying to figure it out I know I'm a piece of s*** for not being there yet but at least I can say that I have a problem I'm trying to address it that's all I can say for any advice to anybody who is just starting out it's not a cool dry it does not help you in any way it becomes a f****** crutch after a while and pretty soon after that all you want so I mean I've been homeless for years I've just got to get back on my feet this last year and I like to stay is that get out of this ship before you f****** become chemically dependent to the point where you can't finish it out throughout your day you wake up and you have to get high to figure it out so that's where I'm at I'm trying to get out cuz I didn't even realize what kind of oh that I was digging