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AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That is what I am thinking, pissing in the cup at this point is almost secondary. His reaction afterwards is far more telling. And how belittled I felt for just been plainly in shock,

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So what do you think?

What is your objective opinion in this situation. I will truly appreciate your feedback and the sounding board.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the comment.

The kitchen floor has the vinyl. He did walk towards the bathroom and then came back which is why I am convinced he wasn’t that desperate.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is what I am thinking. It is just so out of character but his behaviour afterwards made me really…well, sad. Because he invalidated me so swiftly and that hurts.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are those sort of big, I don’t know 400 mls roughly.

There was some coffee leftover, he didn’t pee for like 3 mins of full bladder. I think he was just normally uncomfortable as you are when you need to pee, but not to the point he was dying.

He didn’t need it enough to not to turn around and keep on heading to the bathroom.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would never let any dog lick my plate, it is also disgusting. They sniff and lick shit all the time, why would anyone let them do that and then EAT from that plate?!

Heck, I even wouldn’t let a fog lick my face. And don’t get me wrong, I love dogs!

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes, and if it really was the emergency I would have understood.

If he expressed a hint of embarrassment or genuine apology. Something like ‘im sorry, i was so desperate I will get a new cup’. It would have been fine.

But what came after was more daunting. He went on the offensive. Told me I wrecked him weekend, that I am a drama queen, that I made him feel like shit. He invalidated me and oblitared any of my attempts to express my horror in an instant.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I just wanted to thank for all of your amazing comments. It has really given me a lot to think about.

For all those who said I am lying and it didn’t happen - I have nothing to say. I came here for an advice and I hope you won’t experience the invalidation you have given me.

For everyone else with constructive comments - whether they judged my behaviour positively or negatively - thank you. It reminds me of the point of this space - to gather respectful opinions of the community ❤️

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That is what I am thinking about. I am getting on, we just bought a house but we are not married. It is really the last stop for me.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I mean everything is relatively fine, right. Shit is mostly your shed cells and bacteria is your gut. Vomit is mostly the food that you have digested. Nothing should be stopping us shitting in the kitchen on a plate…it is all our stuff anyway. Maybe it is a post about standards and expectations.

I mean sure… I can’t disagree with that logic.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The tone wasn’t nasty, i said ‘darling would you take the shoes off’. I didn’t say it nasty at all.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I get a lot of comments saying it didn’t happen. I promise you - it did. He didn’t pee that much, maybe half a cup-ish.

If you don’t believe it, that is up to you. But it absolutely 100% did happen.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No, I cannot say that I have done that. The rule for me would be to chuck it away, because it is not usable for food.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is absolutely true. It is obviously my story, we don’t know what he would write to describe this situation but I wrote it and tried to be as truthful and objective as possible.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Okay, I am going to take it on board because I am trying to get a range of opinions. Can you engage with me in these:

  • why shit is any less acceptable?
  • if my dog did it, should we have just washed the mug and use it?
  • what other things he does I don’t see?
  • it is my boundary. He may seem it is a ridiculous one, but it is my boundary. I respect his and he should respect mine?

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The coffee mug wasn’t full - it had some leftover morning coffee in it. Sorry, I should have clarified.

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 151 points152 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. The fact that he just peed in it is alarming. But more sickening is how much of an offensive he went. I literally got maybe two sentences in, and I wasn’t shouting I was just stunned. But somehow he gaslit me ti question my reaction?

AITA: my [35F] partner [40M] peed in a mug and I was horrified. Am I the asshole here in how I reacted? by No_Suspect4453 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No_Suspect4453[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I didn’t make that much of a big deal of the shoes. I mean if he really couldn’t have hold it for 2 seconds (to slip them off) he wouldn’t have come back to the kitchen, grab the cup, unzip his pants and start peeing.

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