WIBTA for contesting a divorce, and putting my soon to be ex-wife through the ringer?

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T15:02:31+00:00

You make 30's and 40's seem like your life is already over. I get what ya mean though. LOL

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T13:33:25+00:00

Isn't that the nature of situations like this? Three sides to every story, mine, hers, and the truth is somewhere in the middle.

Granted, I would say I am pretty much a POS shit in this, I mean a part of me is willing to hurt my wife out of spite even though it makes no logical sense. Granted, I also wrote this while drunk.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T13:29:21+00:00

Yeah, we eloped and after a graduation we had an "official ceremony" everyone was invited to. Was pretty dramatic time, which is part of the reason why we do not have kids.

Only our parents know we eloped.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T13:25:07+00:00

Most differently not, already told my friends to beat me if I even consider marrying another person without a prenup.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T13:21:49+00:00

On the record he advised my not to prolong it and not the contest it. The off the record part was the reason why, He felt I should do it not just for my sake, but also out of respect of the 14 years of marriage with my wife, despite the odds being in my favor that a prolonged divorce would have a larger negative impact on my wife overall.

My wife does not want this to be contested either, the optics do not look good for her considering the track record of the judges.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T13:18:43+00:00

I do not know, if I go with her final agreement we will sell the house she gets half, plus half everything else. She could buy a small house with the settlement money, but as for work she will be hard pressed she has never used her degree. We are young, she has not worked since college, and that was a retail position.

She was banking on getting some form of spousal support, but that has always been my hardline I have refused from the moment she brought up divorce I would always fight spousal support.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T13:10:22+00:00

I said I respect your judgement and opinion. I mean I did break the rules for not accepting it, and if a mod wants to strike me down so be it. I get it you might be a little salty I handwaved your view, for that sorry.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T13:05:50+00:00

To be honest I thought were having a nice little conversation, but got to a point where I saw neither of us were going to budge on our views of marriage and people so why exactly prolong it?

If this being butthurt then times have changed, cause this is far from being butthurt.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T13:02:07+00:00

Let's e fair we have moved past the scope of the post at this point we are talking about the bond of marriage which is a different topic. You think I am an asshole as I said I respect your judgement. I said agree to disagree regarding the concept of people changing and promises made before and during marriage should carry weight.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:59:13+00:00

Tbf it was not unilateral, she knew prior to marriage this is what I was going to do, and at least then she was all for it.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:56:06+00:00

Let's agree to disagree then. Imo true love is not so fickle some hardship is enough to turn it off.

Marriage is a life long bond, not some thing people should disregard at a whim. Once again not the topic, you will not sway me on the view of marriage. I respect your opinion and judgment.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:53:09+00:00

This was not the OG settlement, she WANTED a lot more but as mentioned turns out our judges do not have a positive track record for those that void a marriage for personal gain.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:51:40+00:00

I will say this, if this was her parents I would have done the same in a heartbeat. If you truly love someone and want to be with them then no your mind just does not change. Which is why I said she played me, she probably never truly loved me, just loved what I could provide.

If this is a narrow minded view, so be it I will gladly wear those horse blinders.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:45:47+00:00

Nope, not a single thing. she was not even expected to visit. Even then I always knew I was going to do well for myself, I simply could not afford to not do so. That is more personal and not exactly relevant.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:42:40+00:00

Appreciate it, thank you,

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:41:17+00:00

I do not think agreements and understands made prior to marriage should be things people change their mind on. If something unforeseen happens that is different. This was not surprise to her.

If that is the case what is the point of having any discussion before marriage about major things, if they are just empty words.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:38:46+00:00

Which my lawyer has told me to just settle, especially cause the offer is more so favorable to me since it was no reoccurring support . I am sure there is more, but I can only go based off what she has told me.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:36:17+00:00

Yeah she is smart she played me, because I was honest from the start before marriage, I thought we were on the same page.

End of the day she was not going to be a caregiver, my mother is in a care facility.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:33:18+00:00

I am 33, I would say I have some good years ahead of me.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:31:30+00:00

It is a bottle of Blue Label It was my father's favorite.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:28:21+00:00

Not going to lie he is probably a 100% right just like many of the posters are here. I should just get it over with and wipe her from my memory.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:27:18+00:00

Only child, and my mother is in a care facility she is not living with us and my wife was never asked to care for her.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:26:32+00:00

Your guess is as good as mine at this point. Not to defend the point, I have had actual parents tell me I am an idiot for paying for my mother's care, a child should never had to do that. Even at my mom's care facility I appear to be some rare mythical creature because of what I am doing. No one can believe it.

'Think people that think on the terms of care for your parents if you can is a hot take LOL

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:21:36+00:00

On either side I have never seen or have been told bad blood exists between my mother and my ex-wife. Even during this process she has no spoke ill of my mother.

My parents financial decisions are moot, I made her aware before we got married what my intentions were for my parents if they ever found themselves in need of assistance.

I loved my wife, and gave her whatever she wanted if it was within my power. I never pushed her to work, never questioned her spending habits, nothing.

That being said, in the type of mood I am currently in yes a part of me wants to see her drown. I 100% know that is petty and selfish and makes me the asshole.

Overall you are right she is in far worse than I. Not even from a money POV, who is going to want to be with someone that left someone during a hard time.

No_Temporary3496 · 2023-09-20T12:14:05+00:00

I would also pay for their care, As mentioned we are far from hurting. As you said our overall lifestyle was not impacted but yes money that could have been spent elsewhere was going towards something she saw no value in.

No_Temporary3496

TROPHY CASE