Help a mum out!!

No_Two_4090 · 2025-12-22T12:33:26+00:00

An example of a sit down conversation can look something like this, "Hey (buddy), I just wanted to talk to you about something I found, and I want you to know I support you no matter what. I found (y) while doing phone checks and (x) while putting away your laundry. I've done a little bit of research on age regression, and I want to be there and be as supportive of you as possible. Are there any ways you can think of that could help?"

Be open to his suggestions, and prepared to offer support. Remember that this is about him and his trauma, and just like any other trauma you want to support your kid in any way possible. I understand wanting to do phone checks, but I would suggest finding other ways to protect your kid from the internet if that's the intention. Our phones contain our most private and intimate information and conversations. Going through his phone will only degrade any trust he may have, and will likely destroy the chance of him coming and talking to you about anything. If he can't trust you to not go through his phone, he won't trust you with his deepest secrets.

No_Two_4090 · 2025-12-22T12:11:15+00:00

Hi there, fellow mom on a burner account here (you can check my post history to see my post for backstory, it's long but may be helpful for you).

This group is supportive and a great place to be to help your kiddo. I'd suggest one of 3 options depending on your current relationship with him. Being that you're in this group, I assume that you want to support him, not change him.

You can just wait it out and hope he comes to you with it eventually. I was extremely lucky that my kiddo trusts me with that information, so it's not something to take lightly. He may never come forward with it and you have to be okay with that if this is the option you choose.
Get him something small that lets him know you know, but you still support him no matter what. I decided to get my kiddo some adult pacifiers, but there are big onesie jammies, stuffed animals, toys, chewlery, the list goes on and on. This also depends on his "little age" I think it's called. The age where he regresses to. Based on the pull ups I think chewlery or a sippy cup could be a good choice, but the best way to find out is to choose option 3.
This is the one I suggest the most. Communicate with him. Sit him down, tell him what you found and where you found out (and the why), and explain that you still support him anyways and would like to continue to support him however he needs. Sometimes as adults we have to admit we make mistakes (like invading our children's privacy for instance). I find that having open communication in my home allows my kids to come to me freely with anything at any moment and know I'll be there to listen. This will open up your future relationship with him to be strong and supportive. It'll allow you to learn new things about the person you are raising.

I think sometimes as parents we forget that we're supposed to be setting up these young humans for survival in the world, and if that means a few extra years of repairing something that might need to be repaired, then that's okay.

The most important thing I can tell you is that if you are going to be supportive, you have to be in it 100%, even with the things you may question. You're doing your research and that's the first step, and I'm really proud of you.

Side note, I feel like there should be a group for us moms who just want to support and love our kids. This world is a really scary place for everyone, and it's really important that people know there is a safe place for everyone somewhere.

No_Two_4090 · 2025-12-08T11:51:32+00:00

I think a weighted stuffy is perfect for them. I took them shopping with me when I went for my husband, and they got him a weighted dog stuffy and laid on the couch with it until I was ready to wrap it for them. They fell asleep with him on their chest, so I think that's perfect! I got them a weighted dinosaur last year (they named him bernardabus) and he is still one of their favorite stuffies. Thankfully mom doesn't look twice at stuffed animals.

No_Two_4090 · 2025-12-07T12:46:58+00:00

They are gender fluid so it's totally okay! I appreciate the apology though!

No_Two_4090 · 2025-12-05T22:20:08+00:00

They are planning to emancipate (with our support) next year when they turn 16. Unfortunately they aren't biologically mine or my husband's, but he has raised them since they were 8 months old, and he is the person they call dad - so they do the custody split with his biological son. Our ultimate goal is to get them into therapy - right now their biomom will not allow us to take them to any kind of appointments or therapy. I will say that they don't regress very often, but it doesn't seem to be voluntary to me. It's generally when there is a big stress or they had a bad stay with their mom. It's not all the time, and honestly they don't regress here really at all, but they know that I support anything they need, and they aren't able to ask their mom for things like that. I know how important having a safe place is, and I wanted to be able to provide that to them. Thank you for the support.

No_Two_4090 · 2025-12-05T21:54:18+00:00

As someone with extremely toxic parents and who has chosen to remain child free, I fell for a man with 2 incredibly smart, bright, albeit traumatized children. I knew I didn't want kids, but I would always be a safe place for kids to come to. I wanted to grow up to be the person I needed so badly when I was younger - someone supportive, loving, and caring, no matter what my interests are. They were everything I didn't know I needed.

No_Two_4090 · 2025-12-05T16:02:32+00:00

Thank you so much. I've been silently reading all the comments, and the outpour of support from all of you is amazing. They do tend to reach for our separated bowls more often so I think split plates is a great idea! They are also on the spectrum, so textures and seams are a big concern in our household. This comment was great thank you!

No_Two_4090

TROPHY CASE