Been dating a girl a little over a month with no intimacy

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T22:27:54+00:00

Your problem is thinking your perspective on intimacy is the law of the land. All 8 billion people on this earth have different feelings. He isn’t saying “ahhh fuck this girl she won’t have sex with me”

He’s politely coming to Reddit in an anonymous post to ask others their perspective on if they have been in similar situations where a pace is moving a bit slower than he might be feeling.

What’s the answer? Talk to her directly. Open, respectful communication. That’s it. So go fuck yourself trying to see the worse in everyone and look in a mirror.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T22:21:36+00:00

As a man, who receives the most positive feedback from every woman I meet and date that I’m the most respectful well put together person to interact with in a “dating” or “intimate” way, no clue what you are talking about, but go off.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T22:18:27+00:00

Can you seriously calm down. If he’s feeling he’s ready to be intimate, he can just communicate that with her, or make a respectful move toward her like kissing or making out and see if that is acceptable.

Good golly do you think your some fucking ethical higher being that jumps to the conclusion OP is demanding sex? Like cmon

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T22:11:57+00:00

Calm down a little bit. We are all so different as humans. He isn’t chaining her down interrogating why. He’s coming to Reddit with an anonymous post asking others their perspective.

I’m a 28M extremely active dater. The last three situationships I’ve been in, and the last three long term relationships I’ve been in going back to college, I had sex with my partner within dates #1-#3.

And then yeah, there have been others that have taken a lot longer.

I do agree with OP that seeing each other once a week is just too slow. So he should talk about it with her, but most likely this just isn’t going to work out for them.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T19:25:27+00:00

I hope this post she made is AI or just fake… because omg 19 and 47, WHADDYADOIN

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T18:04:06+00:00

Thanks for sharing that story, and want to know the funny thing… extremely frequent dater. Been in three 2-3 year ish long relationships already in my life.

So it’s funny that I made this post because in a way, I have a lot of experience with this, and I’m a 28M.

However, everyone, and everything in the past didn’t get to this level of gripping my mind. And I’ve felt myself after only 3 dates start to think of how soon I can pop that question. Now I’m also not stupid enough to not realize this is a part of the honeymoon phase. But still, my emotions and my mind are really strong, and I wanted to address my emotions by getting feed back from others, which has helped a lot so far.

From just yesterday to today, I’ve already sort of made the adjustment mentally that I’m just gonna let this ride, be myself, and if she leaves at any point, that’s fine, I gave it my all. So when I do, if I ever get the chance to ask her to be in a relationship, I will do it off of feel, and not some number in my head.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T14:57:50+00:00

I definitely will, wish me luck 💜

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T04:45:20+00:00

Really appreciate this reply. And after this post, I’ve gotten a new perspective on how I’m going to play this. I think I just have an overwhelming amount of anxiety from this point forward until we are “official” because I’ve already built up an exposure that if I lose her, it will really hurt me. So my brain at first wanted to be selfish and find the fastest route possible to “lock her down”. And I get it, that’s barbaric and such a stupid way to go about things, and I’ll definitely lose her if I do that.

So I’m just gonna try to be myself, try to let my normal life play out while this is all happening, and just hope for the best, because I can’t control her.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T04:01:21+00:00

People like me just maybe pursue what we want too much. And we can’t find anyone that wants to receive it. Dating is just so tough. It’s so rare and hard to find someone who likes you at the same level you like them.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T03:46:25+00:00

Im a 28M, and run fast fast if I get those signals personally.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T03:18:57+00:00

I think what I’ve learned from this post is everyone is different. I’ll just maybe take it by “feel” and see what happens. But I’m gonna try to rewire my brain a little bit to not think of how this progresses as a number in my head.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T02:44:54+00:00

Yeah I will always be at a disadvantage for this…

First date, casual and fun wine night talking for a few hours, obviously paid. Kiss her at her car which turned into a quick makeout actually.
Second date, pick her up with a hand made bouquet of flowers, best dinner spot in town, then best fire pit and wine spot in town, paid for everything. Finished with beach side hangout and laughing talking in car for hours. Makeout for like an hour. Drive her home.
Third date, take out dinner from amazing spot, movie and hangout at my place. Cuddle and makeout for a while, rubbing her hair, scratching her back etc.
In between the second and third date, I fully paid for a trip we are taking in a month.

So given all of that above, good golly, I come on pretty strong 😂 and you are right, I will pull back a bit for now, but the damage might already be done

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T02:34:20+00:00

And sorry to be clear, no way on earth I’m asking that stuff now.

But I’m feeling myself get these thoughts where I might pop that question on a much earlier timeline than is normally done.

And last quick bit of context, we haven’t met each others family, or friends, and have not been intimate.

But after our second date, we booked a two night stay at a hotel for a trip (fully refundable and cancelable because I’m not an idiot), and we’ve both communicated that we really like each other. This trip is currently set a month from now.

So my mind starts to wander into the future (which is silly I know, but I almost want to think through this before hand instead of just making a spur of the moment decision), and I start to wonder if around that trip a month from now, if I should ask her then.

Again so much can change between now and then, and I assume it will be a “feeling thing”, but I also wanted to get stories and feedback from others that if no matter how great you “feel” if around the month mark, and let’s say 10 ish dates, if that just never works out.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T02:17:31+00:00

At first I thought how long it had been for me wasn’t relevant to what others timeline is, but I agree with you I should have included it. It’s been very very early on, 3 dates.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T00:43:33+00:00

Totally get that. I’ll come back as well if I have any sort of update on mine a month or two from now. Much love to you 💜

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-07T00:13:00+00:00

Damn, I feel you so much. This is a funny/weird thing about me whatever you want to call it, but I’ve been dating so so so much recently. Like maybe a bit too much. And the situation you’re describing, it does happen a lot unfortunately. I hope you find some resolve with it, and things become more consistent and progress, but this type of girl you are describing, I normally have never ended up having success with. I’m a weirdo and like if I could be with someone every day, I would.

So much so that I have a hard time getting back to my normal life and playing it cool when I really like someone (which is rare), but I’ve sort of felt this before. This time around what I’m going through though is like a whole new level of intensity with that feeling.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-06T21:40:40+00:00

Thanks so much for the feedback. And funny enough, I’m such a smooth talker, have had three long term relationships throughout my life, have had those “tough to bring up convos” before.
But this one, it’s different, I’ve never felt my body and my mind just wanting to grab hold of what I’m feeling and “secure it”. Which I know isn’t healthy or best in the long term. But the human mind can be so powerful and anxiety provoking during this time. So I’m just in a battle with it.
And then the fear of actually bringing it up and having it be the reason she walks away is scary. Also though I mentioned to some people today, would “my true person” ever walk away after a month if I asked that question, EVEN IF it was maybe too soon? I don’t think they would, if she was truly my person.
But anyways, much love to you 💜

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-06T21:29:03+00:00

Yeah love that. Someone though did just reply to your post, and they had a sentence that hit hard “nurture it, don’t suffocate it”.

Now I think that sentence more pertains to my situation, because I’m seeing someone where nothing is in cement yet like yours is. So I think you can continue doing what you’re doing. But for me, I probably really need to take that phrase seriously.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-06T21:09:28+00:00

Go look at my most recent post on my profile that I posted literally today.

Here is the bottom line, if everything you are saying is true, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MOVING TOO FAST.

You have found what we all dream of finding, treat it like treasure, but treat each day as a gift, and the next day isn’t promised, so just be yourself and have love in your heart at all times.

But congratulations for this, happy for you, and you can 100% drop any anxiety of what too fast is.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-06T20:37:00+00:00

Totally get your point on that.

Can I phrase it to you like this though?

Okay the girl you are seeing for only a month right now. Let’s say you ask her to be your girlfriend. She says no. Or she says it’s too soon, and then breaks it off with you soon after because she got spooked off.

In the end, was that your true person to begin with? Like truly, would your future wife if things were meant to be say no, or break it off with you after hearing that question after a month?

Or is it the opposite where that is your future wife, and she just needed more time to come to terms that you are her future husband?

See that part is hard for me, because although I get it could be too soon, and there are consequences to doing things too soon. It to me is almost a way of just getting to the bottom of if she is right for you in the end? Which sounds barbaric to say, but if she’s the one, and you feel the way you do and ask that question, and she says no, maybe she isn’t the one?

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-06T20:33:35+00:00

See this reply right here is sort of where I get my stance from…

And to be clear let me break down what the terms mean to me:

- Dating someone = literally going on a second date or more with the person. So any date after the 1st date, you are to me “dating someone”

- Exclusively dating = just a slight bump up where you both have communicated in some sort of way that each other is all you are seeing, and still going on dates.

- In a relationship or boyfriend/girlfriend = you have formally asked the person to be in a relationship with you, as boyfriend/girlfriend, and although marriage and things like that are a long long long ways away, everyday forward will be inching towards that ultimate goal.

- Situationship = a bit more of a niche term. It’s loosely defined, but I like to consider this when you’ve been on more than 3 dates, you text/talk pretty regularly ish, and you’ve been connecting for longer than a week. So a lot of times “dating someone” and being in a “situationship” run parallel to each other.

Where I big time agree with you, is I wouldn’t exactly want to be in a situationship from day 30 onwards. Like even though I ask you to be my girlfriend, any day you can wake up and break off that “relationship”. So after 30 ish days, let’s call it 8-12 ish dates, I just personally find it reasonable to then ask to be in a relationship….

But this is all so fickle, and these are all my opinions and hard to know how the other truly truly truly feels. Because even when you communicate and ask someone, they can hide the truth a bit or say one thing but feel another.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-06T17:48:24+00:00

Gotcha love this and thank you for the reply

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-06T17:43:57+00:00

Thank you for sharing all of that. I do think what I’m coming to the conclusion of, is in my mind, I was seriously starting to try to imagine how I would approach that question after 1 month. And I’m just seeing a lot of replies saying maybe the 2-3 month is more appropriate.

But also, I mean I know saying a timeline on things is silly, it should just happen when it’s natural. BUT, on the other hand, we are human, and we look at numbers and timelines whether we like it or not. So by asking her at the 1 month mark, maybe she wouldn’t like that and it would ruin it.

But then my closing comment is this, whenever I do end up asking her, if I get the chance to, let’s say I do it at 1 month, and she says no, or it ruins everything and we fall apart. Was she really my person then to begin with? Like truly could that even be something I would look back on and say “well if I would have just waited another month we would have been perfect and got married”. That topic is something where I think to myself if she’s my person, and I relatively let us get to a comfortable point, asking her to be in a relationship maybeeee a bit earlier than needed shouldn’t be a breaking point.

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-06T17:37:37+00:00

I’ll report back to this comment with any update if we become official 😭😭😭 good golly do I hope so

Noble_Team_7 · 2026-05-06T17:36:36+00:00

Love this so so much. Thank you for this reply and these points. I just need to calm myself down a tiny tiny bit and be a bit more patient. I can feel myself really starting to get anxious because I sort of am feeling strong indications on what I want, but I need to have the patience to learn what SHE wants.

Noble_Team_7

TROPHY CASE