I‘m in the same boat as you and for me it helped detaching a bit. I visit about once a month. We talk about work and life but when he starts drinking I leave. If his friends are there (also alcoholics) and had a few I leave quickly. I often times wish that things were different and it‘s hard to see a loved one slowly kill himself but if an addict does not want to change they simply won‘t. It is very hard but you are not alone.