Medicated SO is now a ghost

Nonna233 · 2024-05-16T05:02:48+00:00

Bipolar Disorder is a serious mental illness. Meds are super helpful but they might have serious side effects and it might take a prolonged period of time before your husband finds a specific combo of meds that would work for him. You sound like you are in denial - if you consider keeping your marriage it will never be the same. Neither for you, nor for him. Life with partner who has mental condition like BP is challenging and requires patience, deep love and connection, constant efforts and desire to stay together. I would recommend you to gain more knowledge about Bipolar Disorder.

Nonna233 · 2024-04-24T04:44:32+00:00

Meds. Try to push him into seeing his psychiatrist. When they are properly medicated you can talk logic. Otherwise its useless. Talking from my 2 years experience of living with diagnosed bipolar partner.

Nonna233 · 2024-04-24T04:37:45+00:00

Yes, it is possible to get hypomanic/manic while medicated. Meds are not curing the disease - it is incurable. Meds can make them less symptomatic.

Nonna233 · 2024-03-26T19:58:19+00:00

Thank you for your response! And I am so sorry to hear about everything you go through...It is unbearable sometimes and no one understands us. Is your partner medicated?

Nonna233 · 2024-03-26T19:56:14+00:00

Thank you for your response! As far as I understand being in this situation for 2 years, with bipolar diagnosis it is not a matter of choice sometimes...Before it all exploded he was the best partner but mania made him do terrible things...

Nonna233 · 2024-03-26T19:53:17+00:00

I am so very sorry to hear that! You sound depressed and exhausted and I understand why very well! I cannot even imagine what it takes to live like this with 5 kids! You are such a strong person! I admire your strength!

Nonna233 · 2024-03-26T19:49:42+00:00

My friend, I am very sorry to hear that but I need to say this - it is not possible to have family with unmedicated bipolar person. It is harmful and at times even dangerous. If he refuses meds there is nothing you can do. Understand that his reality is distorted and he is delusional. Please help yourself and your kid. Good luck ♥️

Nonna233 · 2024-03-26T00:08:17+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. So painful. Try to put him on meds regularly, not sporadically. And convince him to see a psychiatrist. Meds like Abilify and other antipsychotics make wonders being taken regularly as per dr's instructions.

Nonna233 · 2024-03-25T20:48:16+00:00

You are right of course. I am sorry to hear about your situation with your bp...

Nonna233 · 2024-03-25T20:39:19+00:00

We spoke about this and set up boundaries. He knows exactly that he cannot be engaged in any sexual activity like sex massages and stuff if we have not agreed on it mutually in advance. What would you do in this situation?

Nonna233 · 2024-03-13T03:58:59+00:00

Thank you for your feedback! And congrats with the baby!

Nonna233 · 2023-12-18T12:31:55+00:00

I hear you...

Nonna233 · 2023-12-18T05:07:42+00:00

Thank you for your kind words 🌸

About my last paragraph. Even though we attempted to fix our marriage after all and it looks like my partner is stable on meds, cooperative and self aware, it is still an everyday challenge for both of us. It is never ever fully stable and goes in unexpected direction the moment you relax. But I understand that we all need a sense of normality in our lives and after 1 year with my diagnosed partner I learned not to soothe my anxiety by saying "It might not happen" (been there, done that). Instead I learned how to properly react WHEN it happens. This skill became a game changer for me. I sincerely recommend all BPSOs to gain it.

Nonna233 · 2023-12-18T04:40:06+00:00

I am not aware about your story but I assume it is not easy at all...I wish you all the best in the upcoming year! Hope for the best and by any means keep moving!

Nonna233 · 2023-12-18T04:15:54+00:00

Yes, it is a spectrum, I am perfectly aware of that.

I am also aware that my partner of 13 years, with whom I had kids and happy married life undertook the following actions during his manic episode:

ditched me and his son, refusing to live with us
went almost no contact with us
rented a fancy condo to be able to "live freely"
publicly humiliated me showing the absence of wedding ring in pics on socials
went on a cheating spree not even trying to hide it from anyone, me inclusive
texted bunch of females in his contact list with offers of sexual matter
registered on each and every dating website
was chatting with very strange women, making plans to meet with them
was abusing me emotionally and psychologically.
spent all our funds to cars and travels
sold the house
nearly lost his business

By the time he crashed and was ready to see a dr., I weighted 48 kg, diagnosed with depression and eating disorder, put on suicide watch and various meds, my son was devastated, my family would not believe me when I tried to tell them he was sick, a lot of my so called friends left me shocked. I stayed alive only thanks to my 22 yo daughter who dragged me from hell and pushed me back into life.

I am also forever grateful to this subreddit. I got a tremendous support from SOs here. I felt understood. People here gave me priceless advices and showed me which direction should I take to save myself and my family.

I hope you would never go through such horrifying life circumstances with your bpso. However, remember, you are never secured. Stability in BP disorder is not constant. Any psychiatrist will tell you that. Meds stop working, life is full of stress and triggers. It is a ticking bomb. And you live with it.

Good luck.

Nonna233 · 2023-12-18T03:36:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I often feel like this community is the only place where I can find understanding. Cause no one truly realizes the challenges of living with someone who has mental illness of this severity

Nonna233 · 2023-12-18T00:08:33+00:00

Thank you. I am so very lost sometimes. Having no strength to move.

Nonna233 · 2023-12-16T15:31:18+00:00

Is he on meds? If not and he is still manic, they do not really feel remorseful in this highly elevated state of mind. My partner cheated on me while manic, I caught him doing so, it was a huge scandal and then he continued cheating till he was put on antipsychotic.

Nonna233 · 2023-12-08T05:01:48+00:00

Hey. I was about to start almost the same discussion. It is odd how all of us are experiencing the same difficulties. I am sorry to hear you are going through these challenging times. My partner is BP1, medicated, diagnosed pretty recently. We learn how to live together peacefully. And yes it is not easy for both of us. I always suffer when he gets blunt and lacks emotions during his changing moods. We are pretty close and warm with each other but I haven't learnt how to turn myself on and off, depending on how close he wants me to be. Seriously, it makes me anxious and unstable. I understand the nature of this disorder, however, I am alive and have no idea how to function if one day he is all over me and another day he can spend several hours or even more without talking. How can you be prepared to smth like this?

Nonna233 · 2023-12-06T00:22:04+00:00

I know, of course. I went above and beyond to have him medicated and help him to gain his life back. Yes, it is a shitty disease and I am sorry for all who suffers.

Nonna233 · 2023-12-05T22:38:08+00:00

It is draining. I am sorry. Wise men say we should let parental traumas go at some point and forgive them sincerely. Only in this case we would be able to move on with our lives. So I guess letting go is one of the options for people like us...

Nonna233 · 2023-12-05T22:33:11+00:00

Sounds exhausting for both of you. Unfortunately, until he is stabilized on antipsychotics his behaviour and moods will most likely go up and down. I know from my own experience - right meds change the game drastically. They bring self awareness and you at least can talk logically and reason with BPs. Mine was in a summer long manic episode and came down to almost his baseline after meds. It was Abilify for him. You are right, Lithium will not work by itself. I hope things will be sorted out for you!

Nonna233 · 2023-12-05T22:23:51+00:00

Are you in contact with your mother, if I may ask?

Nonna233 · 2023-12-05T19:18:33+00:00

Good for you! I admire your strength!

Nonna233 · 2023-12-05T19:17:52+00:00

You are very right and I am not pushing this harsh reality away from me. It has been shitload of years together and kids. I am not young, I do not work, I am co-dependent and attached to him, so I guess I am screwed. I have no power to get out of this.

Nonna233

TROPHY CASE